An Unwritten Story
by TaylorMUnd
Summary: This is the love story between Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks that we never got to read. (May go AU and have them live through the Battle of Hogwarts.)
1. Constant Distraction

Tonks was lying on the sofa in the parlor of Grimmauld Place flipping through the latest issue of The Quibbler reading for anything new that she may not have heard yet. The Daily Prophet was being controlled by the Ministry and was nothing but lies about Harry and Dumbledore. She couldn't stomach reading it any longer. Once she had met Harry Potter she felt overly protective of him. Granted it was her job, but it was different after meeting him.

There was nothing new in The Quibbler and no one in The Order had learned anything new in days. They were all starting to get a little restless. All they knew was that Harry was safe at Hogwarts and all they needed to do was stay appraised of what was happening at the school. Tonks threw The Quibbler across the room with a groan of frustration just as the door to the parlor opened and a tall man with light brown hair stepped through and chuckled at her.

Tonks quickly looked towards the door and rolled her eyes. He wasn't exactly who she wanted to see at the moment. Tonks was a very young Auror. She was fairly fresh out of the academy and hadn't been in the Ministry's employment long before Kingsley Shacklebolt had asked to see her privately outside of The Ministry. She was very confused as to why they had to meet in secret since Kingsley had told her it was Ministry business. After he had asked her if she wanted to join The Order she slowly starting to meet many old Order members. One being her cousin Sirius Black, a man that she hadn't seen much of growing up. Their parents weren't on speaking terms. After Tonks' mother, Andromeda, married a muggle born Walburga, Sirius' mother, had banished her from The House of Black. Walburga was one of the witches that believed pure-blood witches and wizards were above those who were half-blooded or muggle born.

One of The Order members she had been spending a fair amount of time with was Remus Lupin. Remus was one of Sirius' best friends from his days at Hogwarts. He was part of the original Order during Voldemort's first rise to power. He was an exceptionally intelligent wizard. And such a kind man. He also happened to be a werewolf. Though this was never an issue for Tonks. She always enjoyed his company. He was great to talk to and it always got her mind off of what was happening in their world. He could always make her smile when things were just hurting too much.

But at this moment she didn't want to see him. She was dealing with some very new feelings towards him and was trying to subdue them. Now wasn't the time to fall in love with someone. Especially someone who was always looking down on himself and making it seem as though he didn't value his own life. He always felt like everyone else deserved to live over him and that drove Tonks mad. There was so much more to him that his condition and she just wished he would realize that. In her time of utter frustration she didn't want to see anyone least of all someone she was trying her hardest to not fall in love with.

"What did that Quibbler do to you," Remus asked as he continued to walk in and sat down in the chair across from the sofa. He looked battered. The full moon was a mere two days away and he was beginning to feel it. Severus Snape had still been providing him with his Wolfsbane potion to help him through the transformation, but the days leading up to it still drained him. He was always a little paler and had significantly less energy than he normally did.

"Nothing," she groaned pulling her knees to her chest. "There's just no news."

"No news is good news, I guess," he responded making Tonks crack a small smile. "We'll know something soon. You know Mad-Eye can't go more than a week without digging up something."

Tonks knew he was right. Mad-Eye was the best Auror the Ministry had seen in decades. Though she knew he was right, she always had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. It could have also been due to the fact that Remus was sitting before her and she had to stop herself from saying any of her own truth. She wanted him to know how she was feeling about him, but she knew that he wouldn't be very responsive if she told him the truth.

Remus had noticed that Tonks was being more distant recently. She was blushing harder when she tripped over something, which was often. She was trying to keep herself upright more often so she didn't look foolish. The truth was he had been paying closer attention to her recently. Not because he felt he needed to keep an eye on the young clumsy Auror, but because he wanted to. He enjoyed being around her and so often she made him forget for a moment what he was. She was such relief to him. So full of life and normally lit up the room with her clumsy demeanor. Or her ever changing facial features. He loved watching her hair change colors unknowingly to her when her emotions changed. She normally sported a bright pink color in her hair, but it often changed to red when she was angry. And when she was feeling particularly upset the color would fade to a light brown quite similar to his. He loved seeing what she truly looked like, but he loved her bright pink hair more. It showed more of who she was. It was her personality in one color. And it was beautiful.

He hardly ever took his eyes off of her during Order meetings. There was something about the young woman that he felt drawn to. She was so full of life despite the impending war going on. She always had a smile for everyone in the Order.

"How are you feeling," she finally asked him. "You're looking rather drained."

Remus looked her into her, currently, deep violet eyes. "Two days before the full moon. I can get quite drab. Other than that I'm feeling rather well."

Tonks wasn't convinced of his claims. He was never feeling 'rather well' and she could see right through him. But he had a smile on his face that seemed genuine. She loved looking at his smile. It was such a rare thing to see on his face. He was always looking rather serious. She only caught him smiling when they were alone together. Which she guessed was alright with her. It meant that he felt something for her as well.

The two sat in the parlor for several minutes not saying anything to each other. Remus took a book off the shelf to occupy his mind, but caught himself looking up after every three words to look at the pink haired woman sitting across from him. She was so beautiful. She was so young. So much before her. And he wasn't. He had lived such a life. A long life for his age. Transforming every month since the age of four made him feel years older than he was. She deserved someone who didn't turn into a monster every month. Someone who could hold a job and make some money to support a family. She deserved someone much better than he.

Tonks had walked over to collect The Quibbler she had thrown just before Remus entered the room. She could have used a summoning spell to retrieve it, but she needed to get up from the couch and away from Remus' gaze. His eyes were burning a hole into her. Though, much like Remus, she couldn't focus on the words typed on the page. What she wanted to focus on was sitting across from her in an arm chair reading a book, unconvincingly.

They heard the clock chime indicating it was six o'clock in the evening and Tonks felt her stomach rumble informing her it was time for dinner.

"Are you hungry," she asked setting down her magazine.

Remus looked up from his book and to her. "Are you making supper?"

Tonks rolled her eyes and walked from the room towards the basement kitchen. Remus chuckled and quickly followed her. By the time he had gotten to the kitchen Tonks already had supper ingredients flying around the room mixing themselves together as she watched on from the table. He saw the mess of flour on the floor and concluded that she must have bumped into the counter knocking it off.

Remus cast a quick repairing spell and cleaned the mess the young Auror had made without her notice. Within thirty minutes there was food on the table. Meat pies that Molly had taught her to make. Though Molly had had much more practice making them and they were always perfect. Tonks', however; were a little under cooked. Which she didn't seem to notice, but Remus' was still a little doughy.

"Does it taste okay," she finally asked when she noticed he hadn't eaten the entire thing.

"Wonderful," he responded without taking a pause. It made her smile. Her perfect smile.

Remus wanted to spend more time with her outside of the Order and outside the walls of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Away from all the people that were there, but he knew he couldn't. Not only would it be inappropriate, but it wouldn't be fair to her.

"Maybe tomorrow," Tonks started, "we can go to Diagon Alley for dinner?"

Was she asking him out on a date? He wasn't sure. There was nothing in the tone of her voice and indicated that she wanted to go out on a date with him, but yet he felt it was her asking him.

He wanted to accept her invitation and go with her, but would it be right? He didn't know. He had never really been in this kind of situation before. He was never the ladies' man that Sirius was and James and Lily were just meant to be together. He'd never fallen in love before. He'd never felt he was truly worthy of love. But here stood this beautiful woman that he'd fallen in love with quite quickly. There was just something about her that made it easy for him. Easy to feel at ease with her. It could have been that she knew of his condition and had never shown the slightest worry in its regards. Even the days before and after the full moon she never treated him differently. Even Sirius had always been more timid around him during these times.

But Tonks. Tonks never shied away from it. She spoke of his condition without a care. It made him feel better about it. Like he was an actual person again. That there was nothing wrong with him. It was nice to feel normal again; if even for the few moments they shared together.

"Tomorrow may not be the best," he said trying his hardest to sound as casual as she had. "One day before the moon. I can get a bit irritable."

"You're always a bit irritable, Remus," Tonks shot back. "I was just asking dinner. You don't need to feel obligated to make up an excuse to say 'no.'"

Remus could see the hurt on her face. It had been a date. Now that he'd blown it.

They sat eating again for several minutes before either spoke. Tonks quickly took care of the dishes with a wave of her wand. Swiping Remus' plate from him before he had finished his meal.

Remus found her upset demeanor rather endearing. He let out a chuckle, unwillingly and she quickly turned to face him. Scowl on her face. She was not amused by him at this moment.

"I was merely offering a bit of a distraction from the full moon coming up," Tonks said quickly. "Just offering a bit of a distraction that's all."

Remus thought for a moment then reached out to catch her arm. This stopped her immediately and she turned towards him. They both stopped breathing briefly. Remus had a strong urge to pull her into him and kiss her, but refrained.

Tonks was still upset with him and tried to wiggle free from his grip, but failed. She gave up rather easily. She enjoyed his touch.

"I could use with a bit of distraction," he said standing and meeting her gaze. Never taking his hand away from her wrist.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you for reading. This fic is just going to be little things that I wish I would have gotten to read while reading Harry Potter three or four or ten times. I recently re-read the entire series and fell in love with these two. I scream about my love for Remus Lupin at least three times an hour. I hope you guys aren't expecting for this to be updated a lot. I'm in acting school right now and that takes up 99% of my time, but I will try to keep it updated as much as I possibly can. I love these two and have lots of different little stories. I will probably change canon and let them live because I am still bitter about their deaths. So welcome to feels central._

 _WARNING: I like to play with fangirl emotions because I find it fun. So I have warned you and now you can't get mad at me if I hurt you._

 _Also I would love it if you were to follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire._

 _And if you have any story suggestions for this. Centering around Tonks and Remus and what we didn't get to see in the books PLEASE message me! I would love to write it out for you._


	2. The Night of Firsts

A distraction was just was Remus needed. The moon was coming and he was feeling even more buggered than he usually did. He could always feel that part of him within himself. But all he could manage to think about was this impending dinner. He kept replaying the previous night in his mind. How hurt she looked when he refused her invitation at first. He had suspicions that she had feelings for him, but that confirmed it.

Tonks was giddy with anticipation. She had went back to her flat after supper with Remus and Apparated straight onto her coffee table smashing it to pieces. Her aim was a little off with her excitement. She quickly repaired her table and went off to her bedroom to try and get some sleep. She needed to be awake tomorrow. Maybe he would finally realize how she felt for him. Maybe he felt the same way. The way he was looking at her told her that he was at least attracted to her.

But now it was the next morning and she needed to plan a place to go with Remus that night. She didn't particularly want to go to the Leaky Cauldron, but that may be the only choice she had. She also didn't want him to feel obligated to pay. She knew he was a traditional man and would probably insist on paying for her. But she asked him and thought it would be best if she picked up the tab. She knew that he didn't make any money and she didn't want to feel like a burden to him.

That afternoon Remus was sitting eating with Sirius in the kitchen. Sirius could tell there was something different about him. He looked…happy. That wasn't a look Sirius was accustomed to seeing on Remus. It was nice seeing his friend like this. It was as though he was a kid again.

"What's gotten into you," Sirius finally asked his friend.

"Nothing," Remus lied. He wasn't about to tell Sirius about his plans for the night. Tonks was Sirius' younger cousin. He didn't know how his friend would react to knowing this.

Sirius and Tonks had been getting closer over the past few months. Sirius liked having another Black in the house. Someone to talk to about horrid family issues. Someone who he felt an instant connection to. Someone who he felt like he wouldn't lose. She was blood and somehow that made Sirius feel better. They spent many days together. It made Sirius forget about not being able to breathe fresh air. She was endearing and entertaining to watch.

With all of this going on telling Sirius that Remus was going out on a date with his cousin who happened to be thirteen years his junior wasn't an option. Thirteen years his junior. What was he doing? She was so young. So young and beautiful. And bright and caring. She was something truly magnificent. But still so young. But he was going to go on the date and see if he still felt what he was feeling. Or if he was just imagining things because he was alone and she was so easy to be around.

"I know you, Moony," Sirius said. "It's the night before the full moon and you're looking worse than usual, but you can't get that dopey smile off your face. Something's going on."

Remus turned to look his friend in the eye. "I am fine. Just something I'm doing tonight has got me a little on edge." It was as much truth as he could tell him.

Remus would tell Sirius what he was up to, eventually. Once there was something there to tell him about. Right now it was looks and a touch here and there. There was nothing real yet and nothing to tell.

"You're hiding something from me," Sirius said with his wicked grin plastered on his face. "I will find out what it is."

Sirius sprung up and exited the room teasing Remus. Suddenly there was a loud crack and a pink haired woman standing across the room from him smiling bigger than he had ever seen her.

"Did I break anything," she asked spinning around making sure she was safe. "I smashed my coffee table last night. Don't know what's going on with me."

Remus just laughed. She was so endearing that the smile on his face showed no sign of leaving.

"Were you okay," he asked walking over to her slowly. He took her hands and looked over her. "You don't look like you injured yourself."

Tonks looked down not wanting to meet his gaze. She was a little embarrassed that she had told him she smashed her coffee table, but he just seemed to be concerned about her. The feel of his calloused hands wrapped around her small soft ones sent shivers through her entire body. There was something there and she was determined to find out what it was. She felt him leaning closer to her and could almost feel his breath on her face.

Remus kept breathing in her scent. The wolf within him was so close to the surface that his senses were heightened even more than usual. He could always smell her from three rooms away, but today the only thing he could smell was her. She smelled of lavender and apples. Her skin was so soft that he didn't want to let go of her hands. He knew that if he pulled away he would feel some sort of loss. The loss of something he did not have. Her.

"Um," she started. "Did you have a place in mind for tonight? I know I asked and everything, but I didn't really think before I spoke and then I was thinking when I got home that I didn't really know where to go. Or what you'd like for dinner. I mean—"

Remus was laughing at her. Her babbling amused him. "Tonks," he said tugging on her hands. "We don't need a plan. We don't even need dinner."

"But…" she started again. "I said I'd get you dinner tonight."

"Okay," Remus said with a small chuckle. "We'll grab a quick dinner at the Leaky Cauldron and then we can walk around London. Get away from the wizarding world for a little while. You offered me a distraction. That would be the perfect one."

Tonks blushed as she sat down near Remus. There was an Order meeting that afternoon and Mad-Eye was due any moment. She had to stop staring at Remus for the duration of Mad-Eye's visit. If he were to think anything was going on between the two of them Tonks would no longer be allowed to spend so much time at Grimmauld Place. She'd be out on more assignments and out of Remus' reach. And that wasn't something she was willing to risk. Though she was having a hard time staying clear of him.

Remus knew what Tonks was doing that day. He understood what she was thinking. He was trying to take some distance as well. They had to appear to just be colleagues. He was just hoping that the meeting would be over quickly so they could escape and go to the Leaky Cauldron for dinner. Again hoping no one saw them. And even if an Order member did they could just lie and say it was random. But that's why Remus wanted to spend time alone with her in London. There was a far lesser chance of anyone seeing them while they were in London together.

Mad-Eye arrived and Tonks immediately went looking for Sirius. Just so she could steer clear of Remus. She let Sirius sit next to his friend as he usually did and she took a seat near the opposite end of the table. Far enough away from him that she didn't run the risk of giving off any signals or anything.

Mad-Eye seemed pleased with the happenings. Nothing was being reported and he seemed to think that was good news. But it also worried him. It meant that Voldemort was extremely well hidden from the outside world. They were no closer to finding him than they had been all summer. Mad-Eye was beginning to feel restless with the conditions being what they were. After three hours the Order dispersed. Arthur Weasley and Kinglsey Shacklebolt had left at least two hours prior to get back to their ministry jobs.

Mad-Eye finally Disapparated leaving Remus and Tonks alone…with Sirius. And Sirius wanted some company. He kept the conversation going for as long as he possibly could. Tonks finally made an excuse to leave giving Remus a look telling him to hurry up. Though Remus had no excuse. He couldn't think of anything. And there was nothing he was to do for The Order. He had to make up some lie to his best friend in order to get out of there.

Finally Remus got up from the kitchen table and headed for his bedroom. Hoping Sirius wouldn't follow. He did. Remus turned to his friend. "Sirius, I have some errands to run in Diagon Alley. I shall return later tonight." He quickly dashed off to his bedroom to get ready for that night hoping that was the last of what he needed to tell his friend.

Remus quickly changed his robes in for some muggle clothes knowing he and Tonks were going into London. He didn't want to stand out as a strange looking bloke. And he knew that Tonks would be wearing muggle clothing while they were out together.

Remus ran from the house after changing just barely managing to avoid Sirius and his questions. He headed straight for the Leaky Cauldron hoping to have a butterbeer before Tonks made her appearance.

Tonks was getting around at her London flat. She was having a rather difficult time deciding what to wear. She didn't want to steer too far away from what she normally wore. Remus seemed to like what she normally wore and quite frankly she felt uncomfortable in anything else. She finally scolded herself for making what she wore a bigger deal than it needed to be. She grabbed a clean t-shirt and threw on her tight black jeans. She slid on her combat boots and purple leather coat and Disapparated to the Leaky Cauldron.

When Tonks got to the pub she saw Remus nursing a butterbeer at the bar. He looked quite nervous sitting there. She finally made eye contact with him and started towards him. His face lit up and he smiled as she walked nearer.

They sat quietly and ate their dinner. Remus' mind kept leaping from how beautiful the woman sitting before him was and how young and whole she was. He wanted to be in that moment with her. To just spend time with her. She was a truly fascinating creature. He had noticed that her eyes were no longer violet, but now a deep green. The rest of her features were her natural features. Besides her bright pink hair.

Tonks got up to pay quickly before Remus could have the chance. She knew that he didn't have a lot of money and didn't want him to feel weird about this date. She had figured he was rather old fashioned and would attempt to pay for her. She really didn't mind paying. She worked with the Ministry of Magic and he had a hard time finding a job when people found out what he was. It was better this way.

Tonks hurried back to the table and sat down with a smile. Remus looked at her suspiciously. "What's that grin for," he asked her.

Tonks blushed. "Nothing," she said quickly. She paused for a moment. She wanted to ask him something, but wasn't too sure if she should. "Can I ask you something," she asked not being able to stop herself.

"Of course," Remus replied. "That's what tonight is about isn't it?"

Tonks didn't know how to broach the subject. But she needed to know the answer to her question. This entire night seemed completely impossible just a week prior to this moment. Remus never seemed receptive to her feelings. She figured he'd decided it was best to not get involved. So why now?

"Why did you agree to tonight," she blurted out surprising the man sitting across from her. "I mean you've never really shown any interest or wanted to spend time with me outside of The Order."

Remus reached his hands out to hers. His hands so calloused rubbing his thumb across her small and soft hands. "I don't know," he admitted. "At first I didn't. Tonks," he didn't want to hurt her, but he had to tell her the truth. "I truly believe that you deserve someone who has just as much life inside as well as in front of them as you do. I don't. Look at me. I'm a beaten down old werewolf. It astounds me that you asked to begin with." He looked at her. She looked completely defeated. She turned her face from him causing him to tighten his grip on her hands. "But with all that being said, I can't stop myself from caring for you. From wanting to spend time with you. Believe me, I want to be here so badly."

Tonks looked up with a glimmer of tears in her eyes. She loved him with all she knew. What he said about her deserving someone more full of life. She couldn't imagine her life with another. Remus was special. The kindest man she had ever met. Though he always seemed broken down there was something that still sparked within him. He didn't know it was there, but she was determined to make him see it again. To see that he was so much more than the infection that lay inside him.

The woman stood and offered her hand to him. "Shall we explore London," she asked waiting for him to take her hand. His hands were oh so rough, but she loved the way they felt against her soft young hands. His touch sent shocks and shivers through her body. Finally he reached up and took her hand. He stood slowly and they both exited the pub.

The walked for a while without saying anything. There was a gentle breeze going through the city. They were enjoying the fact that no one looked at them strangely. Not many in the wizarding community knew that Remus was a werewolf, but he always projected onto them the judgmental stares he knew they would give him if they knew. It was freeing being in the muggle world where they didn't know his kind existed. They had no knowledge of their world and it was a relief to them both.

Occasionally Tonks would drag the man down a small path wanting to show him something she had noticed after she moved to London. It was always some sort of little shop containing weird objects or paintings. The young woman loved anything out of the ordinary, wizard or muggle. They avoided the area in which the Ministry of Magic was in fear of someone seeing them. Not to mention they were having such a nice time pretending to be muggles and that there were no problems either of them needed to deal with. Forgetting that in just a few hours Tonks would be going on patrol to a Death Eater's house or that tomorrow night Remus would be transforming into a werewolf. None of that seemed to matter to them. It was just the two of them.

They spent hours walking around and talking that night. Tonks was trying very hard to stay upright on her feet. She tripped over a pebble on the walkway causing her to stumble and fall. Remus noticed immediately and reached out to catch her. He wrapped her up in his arms and pulled her tightly to his chest. They had never been this close before. He could feel her breath on his face as he looked down at her. The smell of her apple shampoo filled his nostrils. He could have stayed there forever. It was a perfect moment.

Tonks couldn't make herself pull away from him. She felt so safe there in his arms. Her hands planted on his chest. She didn't say anything. Neither did he. They stood there for several minutes making people walk around their entwined bodies.

Tonks slid her hands up to Remus' neck. She tried to pull herself closer to him. Remus tightened his grip on her waist. They looked at each other briefly before Tonks pulled herself up to him standing on her toes. She hoped he'd kiss her.

Remus was so infatuated with her beauty he just kept staring at her. He wanted to kiss her, but didn't want to spend a single moment not looking at her. Finally he closed the distance between their lips.

It was soft. They held onto each other as if falling off a cliff. Everything in the world, muggle or wizard, melted away and they remained. Their lips moved in perfect harmony. It felt like minutes before they needed to break for air. Tonks reluctantly pulled away and lowered herself back to flat feet. She moved a piece of hair away from his face and caressed his cheek.

Remus couldn't move. He stared into her eyes not wanting to break the contact with her. This moment was absolutely perfect.

* * *

 _A/N: Okay I really wanted to write their first kiss because it's not something we ever got to see. I am loving writing all this fluffy Remadora stuff. It's so satisfying. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Remember to follow, favorite, and/or review. It really means the world to me. Also if there's something you'd like to have me write for their story just send me a message._

 _Also I would love it if you followed me on social media (be sure to ask for a follow back too). Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: fangirl_extraordinaire._

 _I'm gonna go hide under my bed now while you guys read. XOXO_


	3. The Morning After

Tonks spent the entire night in a trance. She didn't know what was actually happening. She was so concerned about how Remus was doing that she couldn't sleep. She spent the entire night pacing around her flat in London occasionally looking out the window. Hoping maybe to see something. Though she knew he wouldn't come into London. She was so happy that Snape was still bringing Remus his Wolfsbane potion so his transformation would be much easier. But even that wouldn't make her stop worrying about him.

The moon disappeared from the sky and she quickly Disapparated to 12 Grimmauld Place. She sat in the parlor waiting for him to get back to the house. It was about an hour after the moon as left the sky before she heard a clatter in the kitchen. Something that sounded a lot like Remus stumbling through the room. She raced down to help him upstairs to the parlor.

When Tonks arrived in the kitchen she saw Remus collapse into a chair around the table. He looked completely battered. Thin. But he looked up and saw her standing in the doorway and smiled.

Remus had spent the entire night alone and was so happy to be back with her. To be back with this woman that cared for him more than he actually knew. He watched as she raced around the kitchen to get him something to eat. She was so concerned for him.

After Tonks had made him breakfast she helped him up the stairs to the parlor. He didn't really need her help to get up the stairs, but he was enjoying watching her fuss over him. No one had ever cared so much about him. James, Sirius, and Peter were always with him during his transformations during his times at Hogwarts, but it never felt like this. Tonks went up to grab him some new pajamas and a couple blankets once they reached the main floor.

Remus chuckled to himself as he watched her make such a hassle over him. Wanting him to be comfortable and warm with her. Once she had forced him into a pair of clean pajamas and he was resting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his body Tonks curled into his side and snuggled under the blanket with him. She was not concerned about Sirius coming into the room and seeing them together. It no longer mattered.

Remus took out his wand and started a fire in the fireplace across from them instantly warming the room. He wrapped his arm around the woman sitting next to him and pulled her into his chest. She placed her hand on his chest grateful she was able to touch him again.

Remus put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him as she curled her legs onto the sofa. Her eyes slowly drifted shut and she fell asleep quickly. Remus reached his arm up and ran his fingers through her bright pink hair. Was this real? Was this really happening for him? Did he finally have someone that loved him? All of him, including the infected part? He loved her so much that when the door to the parlor started to creek open he didn't move to be away from her. He didn't care if Sirius found out because they loved each other.

The door finally opened fully and Sirius stood there smiling at him. A smile informing his friend that this wasn't a surprise. That he knew that this was going to happen. He slowly backed away and closed the parlor door. Causing Remus to chuckle slightly. Tonks moved in his arms and he placed his arm back around her body pulling her close to him once again. He watched her and slowly drifted off to sleep with her.

The two of them stayed sleeping in the parlor closely guarded by Sirius as people came and went from the house. The Weasley's had come by to make sure Sirius had everything he was going to need for the next couple weeks.

"Where's Remus," Molly asked as they sat down at the kitchen table for a cup of tea. "Has he been awake since he returned?"

"Yes," Sirius said with a cheeky grin thinking about the scene he had witnessed. Remus and Tonks cuddled together on the sofa. He thought back to the look on Remus' face. He was so happy with Tonks fast asleep on his chest. Sirius was so happy that he friend was finally feeling better about himself. That he was finally feeling happiness in his life. He knew that Remus would find some way to try and distance himself from Tonks. But he knew his cousin wouldn't allow Remus to drift too far away from her. She was a Black and that meant she was stubborn and didn't give up without a fight. "He's asleep in the parlor. I was just letting his rest." He almost added that Tonks was in there keeping an eye on him, but thought that information was better saved for another time.

"At least he has his potion to keep him from being in too much pain," Arthur said.

"I'm just glad he has a place to come back to," Molly said, "with people to care for him. He's been through a lot. Ron's always talking how he wished Remus hadn't resigned from Hogwarts. He's always been bright and he certainly was the brains in your operation, Sirius."

Sirius was laughing to himself. Someone was definitely caring for Remus. Though it had just occurred to him that the person caring for his friend was his much younger cousin. A woman that was thirteen years their junior. This concerned him slightly, but he was going to talk to Remus before he started to make himself go mad over the subject.

"Yes," Sirius responded to Molly. "He's doing much better. It would have been nice to have him keep his post at Hogwarts. He still talks about the students. How impressed he was with Hermione and being able to tell Harry about his parents. It's unfortunate that he felt he needed to resign. All because Snivellus—"

"Sirius," Molly cut him off. "You all need to get over your school grudges. It may get in the way of The Order. And we cannot have that."

As Sirius, Molly, and Arthur talked in the kitchen Remus was waking up hours after he had seen Sirius at the doorway. He looked down and saw Tonks had made her way to her resting her head in his lap. He stroked her hair again making her stir and look up at him sleepily. "Good morning," he said smiling down at her.

"Good morning," Tonks said wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Haven't slept that well in months," she said not moving, but curling into him further. His body produced so much heat it was like being inside of a fire while sitting next to him. She didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to move from this spot. She was sure that if they moved this entire experience would be over. That her time with Remus would be brought to an end and she couldn't bare that.

Remus tried to pry her off of him so he could readjust and be closer to her, but she wouldn't move. He wanted to lay with her. Feel her body close to his. Hold her close and breathe in her scent. Feel her breath just barely on his chest. However; because she didn't want to move he finally gave in and let her lie on his lap. He rubbed her back gently as she struggled to wake up.

"How did you sleep," he asked her quietly. She said nothing but gave a satisfied groan into his thigh. "I believe I hear Molly and Arthur here," he said looking at the door. "Are you hungry?"

Tonks simply shook her head. She could easily stay in this position for the rest of the day. She loved being so close to Remus. His touch was so comforting and secure. She didn't want to move. Tonks wrapped her hand around Remus' thigh and gripped it tightly trying to make sure he knew she wasn't leaving. Right then or anytime in the future.

Remus heard movement in the corridor outside of the parlor. Sirius, Molly, and Arthur were headed towards the parlor to check on him. He heard their voices speaking about him. Sirius hadn't seemed to mention that he saw Remus and Tonks together that morning. The door handle started to turn and Remus found himself stationary. He didn't want to move. He wanted to let his friends know how happy he was.

The three entered the room and froze when they saw Remus staring down at the sleeping woman. Molly instantly knew that the two were completely in love. Even Tonks' grin on her sleeping face showed how happy she was.

Sirius walked over and sat down across from Remus and Tonks. "How long has this been going on," he asked putting his feet up on the coffee table.

Tonks stirred slightly and slowly opened her eyes and saw Sirius instantly. Once he became clear in her vision she sat up quickly noticing they were no longer alone in the room. Sirius had that cheeky smirk on his face, Arthur looked confused, and Molly wore a broad smile on her face.

Tonks blushed as she slid across the couch to distance herself from Remus.

"Two days," Remus answered not flinching.

Tonks didn't make eye contact with anyone in the room. Then she felt Remus' hand on her knee. All of her embarrassment melted away.

"I feel like a child bringing a boy home to mum," Tonks said laughing.

"You basically are," Remus joked giving her a small nudge. "The way Molly considers you hers," he said into her ear.

"At least mum knows the man you've brought home," Sirius said kicking Remus' foot with his own. "Of course your cousin isn't quite sure. I heard he was a trouble maker in school."

"That was you," Remus said quickly. "I just got us where we needed to go. You and James made the trouble in school."

"If that's how you recall our seven years at Hogwarts," Sirius said getting up and leaving the room.

Remus looked over at Tonks and made to follow Sirius. Molly quickly sat down next to Tonks and anxiously waited for the young woman to confess what had brought her and Remus together as Arthur turned to leave the room.

"Tonks, how did this happen," Molly asked curiously. "He's—"

"Much older," Tonks finished for her. "I don't care." She started giggling like a child. She hadn't been able to talk about her feelings for Remus until then. She had bottled everything up and it all came bursting through at once. "I don't really know when it all happened. But I love him, Molly. It's strange. I didn't expect him to reciprocate anything and just the other day we walked around London for four hours just talking. We had dinner and nothing was awkward. Then he kissed me."

Molly smiled at her and took her hand. "I hope you're ready for what comes with Remus," she told the young woman.

"I am," Tonks told her. "I don't care about what he is. I don't care that he's so much older. That he has no money. He's sweet and kind. He cares and loves so much. He'll never admit any of it though. I just want to be with him." Tonks rolled her eyes at herself. She sounded like a lovesick teenager with her first crush. "I sound ridiculous."

"You sound like I did when Arthur and I first met," Molly told her. "I fell in love with him so fast. He's one of a kind that husband of mine and I wouldn't trade him for anything. As I'm sure you feel about Remus?"

Tonks simply nodded her head. She felt her thoughts wonder back to the feeling of falling asleep in Remus' arms. With everything going on in their world it was hard to feel happy and safe. Let alone feel both at the same time. But as she was lying in Remus' arms she was. There was no room for feeling alone or scared. Hopeless or angry.

Down in the basement kitchen Sirius was teasing Remus about his new found relationship with the much younger woman sitting upstairs.

"We could be related, Remus," Sirius said elbowing his old friend in the ribs. "Moony and Padfoot bound together always."

"Nothing is being bound," Remus said standing and walking away from Sirius.

"I'd be Uncle Sirius," he said happily.

"No," Remus said. "Who mentioned having children? You know I can't. Not with the lycanthropy. Anyways, this just started. There's nothing to be predicting. Not to mention I didn't want this to happen. Our world is coming into a war and I don't think—"

"Quiet, Remus," Sirius just about shouted. "You're in love with the girl. Stop trying to make sense of it. Stop trying to control of it. Just be with the girl."

"Sirius is right, Remus," Arthur added. "Now more than ever you need to admit how you're feeling. And we all know that you don't have a history of expressing yourself well."

Later that day Remus sat in the parlor reading when Tonks entered the room. He looked up from his book and watched her walk over to him. She sat down and he immediately wrapped his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder while he continued to read.

About an hour later Tonks looked up to him. "I have to go on patrol tonight. I should be back before midnight," she said sitting up straight rubbing his chest. She felt his body tense up beneath her. She knew he didn't want her to go. "Just going to observe Dolohov. Completely safe. Plus," she said as she morphed her face into someone unrecognizable to him. "He'll never knew it's me. That's one reason Mad-Eye recruited me."

Tonks stood from the couch and headed back to the door ready to leave for patrolling Dolohov. Remus quickly put his book down and raced towards her. He grabbed her arm and spun her towards him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. A kiss that had so much more force and passion behind it than their first. A kiss that told Tonks how much Remus actually cared for her.

Tonks had spent the entire previous night sitting at her flat worrying about him and tonight he'd be sitting in this parlor anxiously awaiting her return. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until she had returned from her mission.

However; five hours later as Tonks returned to the parlor after following Dolohov and finding nothing suspicious she found Remus lying on the sofa with a book open on his chest. Fast asleep. She morphed back into herself and grabbed an extra blanket. She was happy that the sofa was large because she was able to curl up next to him. He moved slightly waking up for a moment.

"Are you okay," he asked sleepily pulling her into him. She nodded her head against his chest. And they fell asleep close in each other's arms. Everything was perfect…at that moment.

* * *

 _A/N: Okay I just wanted to write something after Remus transformed. And I wanted to move on from just Tonks and Remus. So I brought in more of Sirius and Molly and Arthur. Tonks always confided in Molly so I thought this would be a good start to that relationship._

 _So if you like it please review, follow, or favorite. Of course you can do all three you won't hear me complain. I also saw that someone added this story to a community on here and I've never had that happen before, I think, so I thank whoever did that. It means a lot to me honestly._

 _Also, please follow my social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire._

 _XOXO_


	4. What Happens Next?

It had been two weeks since the first date between Tonks and Remus. They still hadn't told the rest of The Order yet. They didn't need people's opinions on their relationship. Could they even call it a relationship? They hadn't even left 12 Grimmauld Place since that first time. They spent most of the time they weren't working sitting together in the parlor. Remus would sit and read a book while Tonks tried to distract him by morphing her features and making him laugh.

Tonks had rarely went back to her London flat in the weeks after their date. Some nights she stayed on the parlor sofa alone, other times she had company. Then there was the one night that Remus had brought Tonks to the room he had been staying in. She fell asleep on top of his bedspread and he let her sleep. At first he kept his distance and sat in the chair near the window, but when exhaustion had finally won out and he curled up next to her in his bed.

Remus was sitting in the parlor again reading _A Guide to Medieval Sorcery_ when Tonks walked into the room and got annoyed with the image she had scene four or five times a day for the past week. She walked over to the sofa and took the book from his hands earning her an eye roll from. She sat down on the edge of the coffee table and set the book down next to her.

"You need to get out of this house," she said putting her hands on his knees. "You've read every book in this house at least three times. You need fresh air and sun light."

"Tonks, love," he said leaning towards her. "All you had to do was ask," he said kissing her lightly on the lips. "Shall we go out tonight if you're free?"

Tonks smiled and moved to sit on the man's lap wrapping her arms around his neck. Remus' arms snaked around her waist pulling her close to him. The two of them sunk into the sofa.

"I have some Muggle money. We could get food in London," she suggested closing her eyes and resting her head next to his. Now that she was being held by Remus she wasn't thinking about him needing to get out of the house. "We don't have to walk around as much this time."

Remus chuckled. "I rather enjoyed having to catch you from falling every few minutes. I got to hold you," he said pulling her closer. He had no intentions of getting off of that sofa any time soon. "Or we could just sit here all night?"

This made Tonks jerk forward and look at him. "We're going out. I'm tired of these walls. I want to be out in the world with you. We'll just avoid the wizard world so we can attempt to forget what's happening."

Remus put his hand through Tonks' hair and pulled her down to meet his lips. The kiss deepened and Remus lifted the woman slightly and laid her down on the sofa before he lowered himself on top of her. Just as their bodies entwined they heard the unmistakable clunk of Mad-Eye Moody's false leg walking towards the parlor door. They both bolted upright and separated themselves from each other. Remus quickly picked his up his book again and started to pretend to read.

The door flung open and there stood Mad-Eye. They both instantly knew he knew what had been going on. His eye must have seen through the door to the two of them snogging like teenagers on the sofa.

"You two. Kitchen," he said and turned to leave the room.

Remus and Tonks looked at each other with worry. They both started to feel like teenagers sneaking around their parents. Tonks respected Mad-Eye more than anyone else in The Order. He recruited her for the Auror Academy and brought her into The Order. She felt guilty for lying to him. She had never lied to him before. Though Mad-Eye normally saw right through her. He knew when she was lying to him.

Remus and Tonks got to the basement kitchen and saw Mad-Eye sitting and speaking with Arthur quietly about something. They couldn't hear the details. Mad-Eye looked up and gave them a knowing look. Tonks was ready to faint on the spot. Remus wanted to turn and run.

The couple separated and sat far away from each other at the table.

"Might as well sit together," Mad-Eye said his magical eye eyeing them across the room. It was constantly looking from Tonks to Remus and back.

Without thinking Tonks stood and walked over and sat next to Remus. He looked over to her completely confused, but not surprised by his boldness. That's one reason he fell for her. She wasn't afraid of much. Or at least she didn't show it when she was.

Remus jumped when he felt a hand rest gently on his thigh. He looked over at Mad-Eye and saw a smirk cross his face. Tonks didn't flinch. She gently squeezed his leg and he instantly relaxed.

"Alright," Mad-Eye said loudly turning to Tonks and Remus. "You two," he said looking at them, "tonight you need to get some information from Malfoy Manner."

"What," Remus shouted. "What are you thinking we're going to find there? The Ministry has gone through Malfoy Manner numerous times. What more do you think Tonks and I can find?"

"I don't know," Mad-Eye said. "But we also don't know if the Ministry has been infiltrated by Voldemort's followers. We can never be too careful. Nothing new has come across The Order in weeks. We can't keep going blind. We need something to go on. And Malfoy is the most likely to have something on where Voldemort is. We need to know what's going on."

Remus sighed and turned to look at Tonks. She looked confident and fearless like she always did. He knew that she was always ready to go on a mission. But he didn't want her in danger. However this was her job. And she knew what she was getting herself into. She knew that everything that was before her was dangerous.

"Let me go alone," Remus heard himself say before he could think about what he was saying. He felt Tonks whip her head to stare a hole into him. She was pissed. He saw her hair turning from bright pink to bright red. Then he felt her nails digging into his thigh. He could feel that they were about to have their first fight that night. His trying to protect her was going to cause an issue between them and he knew it as soon as he opened his mouth.

"I need both of you," Mad-Eye said. "Remus, with your wolf senses and Tonks' ability to morph, you're the best team I have."

Tonks' hair slowly turned back to pink and her grip on Remus' thigh loosened.

That night Tonks changed her appearance once again and she and Remus set off for the Malfoy Manner. Remus would be easily recognized, but he felt obligated to always stay a little ahead of Tonks to ensure she was safe. He held her hand as they walked around the perimeter being sure he always had physical contact with her. There were guards stationed everywhere. One slip up and they were both dead.

As they walked Tonks was getting very excited. Missions always gave her a boost of adrenalin. She got even more clumsy than usual. Though Remus was promised that when the time came she was steady and ready to go no matter what.

They heard a rustling coming from behind them and they both got into attack positions. Remus saw a body moving through the trees. He reached behind him so he could feel Tonks there. She reached out for him and they clasped their hands together once more.

Suddenly a flash of read sparks flew out of the trees nearly hitting Remus in the chest. They both started to send stunning spells back where the sparks came from. Tonks heard something from behind her and as soon as she turned a stunning spell hit her and she collapsed backwards. Remus looked down at her in horror. He knew she wasn't dead, but seeing her unable to move killed him. Remus turned and sent four stunning spells towards the other side of the tree line.

Remus sent up a shield spell as he grabbed Tonks' limp body and Disapparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place.

Sirius heard a loud crash from the parlor and ran to see what was going on. He threw open the doors and saw Remus on his knees hovering over a motionless Tonks.

"What the hell happened," Sirius shouted and ran over to them.

"She's been stunned," Remus said. "She'll be fine. There were guards as expected and we stayed silent, but they found us. She took a powerful stunning spell to the chest. I got us out of there as fast as I could." Remus reached out to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. She looked so determined. Ready to fight.

Sirius made a pot of tea and brought a cup to Remus who hadn't left Tonks' side since they got back. He hadn't even moved to sit on the sofa. He stayed knelt near her head.

Remus said sipping his tea and looking down at the woman he loved motionless on the floor. She looked as though she had been killed. And it hit him. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't do this to her. What if something happened to him? He was an old, poor, werewolf and if anyone were to be lying on the floor motionless it should be him. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve worry. She deserved so much more than what he could offer her. He made the decision to tell her this once she felt like herself again. None of this was fair. And it was killing him knowing that this was something that he had to do.

After two hours of sitting with her she finally started to stir. Remus bent over her as she opened her eyes.

"Hello, Remus," she said cheerfully. "Could I please sit up," she said making Remus back away from her.

Not remembering what he had planned to say to her he reached out, took her face in his hands, and kissed her. He let himself melt into her. Let them become one within each other. He let go of her face and pulled her waist closer to him. This was beginning to feel like the last time he would ever kiss her. And for all he knew it would be. He knew he was ending whatever was happening between them.

Tonks felt it. There was something completely different about this kiss. Something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. But it wasn't good. She knew that something bad was coming. So she held him at tightly as she could trying to convince him with her touch. Convince him to not do whatever it was he was planning to do. She couldn't let him. She couldn't let the one person that made her feel safe and happy leave her.

They had spent several moments connected through that kiss. Tonks felt something hit her face. She pulled away from him and noticed tears. Remus was not one to cry. She went back to kiss him, but he pulled away. He couldn't do it again. Couldn't kiss her. Couldn't touch her. It wasn't fair.

"Tonks," he said softly. "We can't." It was such a final statement. There was no question in his voice. She didn't say anything. She knew. She got up and walked out of the room leaving him kneeling on the floor with his arms still out as if to hold her.

There was nothing left to do. It was over as quickly as it had all started. They both fell hard for each other. They fell in love. What they had was real and felt so right at the time. But seeing her fall to the ground motionless he knew. Not only did she deserve someone whole; he couldn't bear to lose someone else he loved in his entirety. So many had left him. So many had died. He couldn't take watching her. Watching her fall like that after a killing curse had hit her. He couldn't get too close to anyone else. He couldn't let himself get distracted.

Tonks left 12 Grimmauld Place and went back to her flat. She was sobbing as she stumbled her way to the sofa in her living room. She turned on the Muggle television set she had purchased to keep track of Muggle news. She flipped through the channels with the clicker trying to find something to take her mind off of what had just happened. She didn't want to think about Remus. She never wanted to leave her flat. She knew that eventually she would be seeing him again. She would be forced to go out on a mission with him. They would be in the same room for Order meetings. There was no chance of avoiding him. But she needed to find some way to numb this pain.

Nymphadora Tonks had never felt a pain like this. She'd been hit with spells and fallen down the marble stairs at Hogwarts, but nothing ripped her apart like this. She had felt as though someone had ripped open her body and taken out her insides. Not just her heart, everything was gone. She was completely empty. And she was positive that nothing would be able to help her.

Remus sat in the parlor reading the same book for the third time. Sirius walked in and saw him sitting there alone.

"Where's the other half of you," he said jokingly. "It's rare to see you without her."

"Leave, Sirius," Remus said without looking up. "I don't want to talk about this. Stop talking."

Sirius got the message. There was nothing left to say. Tonks had left and Remus was back to reading. Sirius knew that Remus would find some reason to stop seeing Tonks. And he had now made it his mission to talk some sense into his friend. He had never seen Remus so happy. And now he was sitting on this ratty old sofa reading some history book for the fourth time. He looked even worse than he did after a rather hard transformation.

Almost a week had passed before Tonks had to go back to Grimmauld Place to an Order meeting. She was dreading it. She didn't want to see Remus. She knew that if she did she would break into a million pieces all over again and she couldn't let him see her like that. Molly Weasley was going to be there and she hoped she would be able to hide behind her for a little while.

Tonks took the Floo network to Grimmauld Place that day and shot out of the fireplace to Remus and Sirius staring at her. Sirius made sure that Remus and Tonks had to at least sit near to each other. Molly knew instantly that there was something off about the two of them. Tonks wouldn't even look in Remus' direction. Remus was more intense than he had been since the two of them had started seeing each other.

Throughout the entire meeting there was a chill in the room. Nothing caused by the temperature, but everyone could feel the coldness between Tonks and Remus. The Order quickly left after Mad-Eye had told them everything they now knew. Still no one had any information about where Voldemort was at the moment. The last they knew he was somewhere in Albania. But since that news no one had heard anything new. The Ministry had sent dozens of Aurors there to track him down, but no one could find anything.

Mad-Eye had started talking about how they may have to go and talk to the werewolves to find out anything. They knew that the werewolves were likely to go over to Voldemort's side. Tonks started to fear that Remus would be the one sent off on Dumbledore's orders. Remus was already so weak. Tonks couldn't let him do that if it came to that. But how was she supposed to stop him now? He wouldn't even look at her. Let alone would listen to her pleas with him.

Remus knew he would be the one to speak to the werewolves, but Mad-Eye said they needn't worry about that. It was such a long ways off that it didn't need to be discussed any further.

After the meeting Molly pulled Tonks into the library. "What happened between you and Remus," she asked quietly. Tonks looked away fighting back tears. "Dear," she said pulling the younger woman into her body.

"He just said that we can't," she said through sobs. "I didn't even try to talk to him. I just left. It was after that mission to Malfoy Manner. I got stunned. He brought me back here and stayed with me until I could move again. Then," she broke off not being able to complete the thought. The feeling of emptiness came rushing back through her. She felt her fragile heart break again.

"Oh, dearie," Molly said pulling her in for another hug.

"Dear Merlin," Tonks said with a small and forced chuckle. "I keep saying this, but I sound like a teenager."

"My dear," Molly started, "everyone is a teenager when it comes to love. I'd look a lot like you if anything had ever happened between me and Arthur. It hurts no matter what age you are. You are in love with this man and he broke your heart. Honey, it will get better. I promise you."

"I see him all the time, Molly," Tonks said wiping her tears from her face. "And when he kissed me that night. I knew. I knew he was going to end it. I didn't even know what it was. But I just ran from the house and went home. I've eaten so much ice cream in the last week. I hate feeling like this."

Molly just hugged her. This was all she knew to do. Ginny hadn't had her first break up yet and the rest of her children were boys they didn't feel break ups like this.

"Molly," Tonks said looking at her. "What happens next?"

* * *

 _A/N: Okay I'm a little sorry for breaking them up, but I have plans. I have ideas for bringing them back together. I wanted to keep this canon because I like the idea of the struggle between them. Remus thinking he's half of a person and Tonks not giving a shit and just wanting him. It's a cool dynamic and I want to explore it. Full disclosure: I did cry as I wrote Remus saying 'We can't' and almost changed it, but I couldn't._

 _So I'm gonna go hide under my bed and wait. But it would be fantastic if you guys could: follow, favorite, and/or review this chapter and story. And follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire._

 _XOXO_


	5. Recovery Part 1

Tonks was crying into Molly's arms for a couple hours talking about the, what she assumed was a breakup, that happened that night. Telling her that Remus never gave her a reason as to why he had called things off between them. How that's what was hurting her the most. Not knowing what she might have done or why he was giving up on them. How he had seemed perfectly fine during their time together. Like was finally happy unlike most of the time they had known each other.

Remus Lupin was always such a depressed man. And he had every reason to be. His life wasn't exactly easy and Tonks understood that. Tonks had thought that's why he let his guard down around her. Or at least he was starting to let it down around her. He was quickly becoming the most important person in her life. And now she didn't know if she'd even be able to be around him without it feeling like she was being ripped apart.

Tonks finally got up from the couch in the parlor. The same couch that the two of them had spent a few nights curled up together on, sleeping. Or talking. Or teasing Remus as he read the same book over again. She could feel his presence when she sat on it. Feel his arms wrapped around her and smell him. He always smelled a little like freshly mowed grass and evergreens. It was a scent that was now engraved in her nostrils. Feel his calloused hands on her arm as he pulled her closer to his body.

Tonks left 12 Grimmauld Place and decided she was going to wonder around the city for a while before heading back to her flat. She took the same path her and Remus took on their first date after going to the Leaky Cauldron. She walked through the sea of tourists as she walked past Big Ben and then past Westminster Abbey. She remembered how they took an alley a few streets down to get away from all the people.

The woman just kept walking. She didn't know where she was headed when she entered St. James Park and sat down on one of the benches. Remus had needed to take a break walking that night and they stopped there. They looked out over the water and talked about the world. How neither of them had ever left the United Kingdom. Remus wanted to see more of Europe and Tonks wanted to see what America was like. She had heard stories from some of her peers and teachers. She heard that Ilvermorny was the top wizarding school in the Western Hemisphere. She didn't know, but she knew that Ilvermorny couldn't even compare to Hogwarts so there was no point to discuss it. Still Tonks wanted to see this school.

Remus wanted to see the countryside of Europe. Sirius' year of hiding had brought many stories over the landscaping. Tonks wanted to see these places with him. After this war was over she wanted to go to Switzerland and take Remus to all the sights he wanted to see. A great way to spend time together. To fall even more deeply in love. Maybe even start their life together. Get married. Start a family. But none of that was possible now. It had all been stolen from her. And she didn't know why. She had her suspicions, but she needed to hear it from him. She wanted him to tell her exactly why he had stopped something that hadn't had the time to grow. Something that they both knew was completely real. That they knew could easily last forever.

After leaving St. James Park she headed north and couldn't stop. She just kept going hoping that eventually she'd stop thinking about him. That maybe he'd leave her head and she wouldn't hurt anymore. And it was working a little. She was beginning to feel numb inside, but she hadn't forgotten about him. He was still at the front of her mind.

Tonks finally realized that she had been walking for near four and a half hours and found a place to hide before Disapparating to her flat. She got there and felt a little better. They hadn't really spent time at her flat. There were no memories of him there. She was alone with just her thoughts. Still feeling his embrace. Smelling the evergreen scent. But she could look around and not see his face. Or see the two of them smiling together the way she did at 12 Grimmauld Place. She could sit on her sofa and not be reminded of the first night they spent together and how she fell asleep in his lap. Or go to her bed and not remember how Remus woke her up when he crawled into his bed with her, but she didn't move so he wouldn't feel bad. She just let him hold her tightly. This place was free from pain.

Tonks didn't remember how she got into her bed the next morning. She had been so tired when she got back to her flat that everything was a little bit of a blur to her. She quickly got ready to head to the Ministry for her day job. She was grateful to have a distraction for a while. She was buried under paperwork in her cubical at the Auror's office.

Kinglsey had to stop by her desk a few times. She could tell that he knew exactly what had happened. Remus had probably said something. Or Kingsley had overheard Remus and Sirius talking. Most likely the latter. Remus was never really a talker. And he hadn't even told anyone about them. People just kind of found out as time went on. The two of them had stopped caring if people knew. Seeing Kingsley was a slight reminder of Remus, but she pushed through because the man wasn't around too much after they had started to date.

Tonks' routine didn't change over the next week. She went to work and back to her flat. But the time was coming up to when she would have to go back to headquarters and see him again. The next night after she left the Ministry she would be going to 12 Grimmauld Place for an Order meeting. She didn't know how she would feel seeing him again, but she knew that no matter what she would hold her head high and not let what she was feeling affect her work.

The next night Tonks quietly cleaned her desk before Disapparating to 12 Grimmauld Place. She got to the basement kitchen and no one was there yet. Then she heard a man clear his throat. She turned to see Remus was sitting at the opposite end of the table.

* * *

 _A/N: This chapter is a two-parter. I have uploaded both chapters at the same time because they are short and I wanted to get through them. It is actually killing me writing these two apart from each other. I hope you enjoyed. Be sure to head to the next chapter right now because it's up for your enjoyment._

 _But first I must remind you that you should follow, favorite, and review this chapter. And go right ahead and follow me on social media Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Also if you have any suggestions of storylines you want to read about please let me know._

 _XOXO_


	6. Recovery Part 2

Remus had been listening to Tonks talk to Molly about him. How she was feeling broken because he hadn't told her why. He felt guilty about it. He wanted to tell her it had nothing to do with her. She was so amazing and endearing that he wanted to be around her all of the time. Her laugh was intoxicating. No matter how sorry he was feeling for himself if she laughed a smile would widen across his face.

The mere thought of her smiling face made him smile. How she'd let her pink hair fall in front of her eye. He suspected purposefully because she wanted him to push it behind her ear. And he did every single time. How she'd lean into his touch and kiss his hand. The way his lips touched her so gently yet with so much passion. It was killing him knowing that he couldn't talk to her.

He wondered the house for a little while until he stopped in front of the parlor doors and stared for a moment. He slowly opened the door hearing her laugh. He walked around the room for a moment and ran his fingers across the book he was reading when she forced herself onto his lap and insisted he give her his attention. How she teased him about re-reading the same book. He always said that it made him smarter re-reading things. She never argued with him on that front.

The room seemed so empty now that he was back to sitting there reading alone. Like something had opened up beneath the ground and everything fell inside of it. Nothing seemed right as he stood there near the piano in the back.

Remus had finally had enough and took his book down to the basement kitchen hoping to get some freedom from his thoughts. He knew he had done the right thing. He had seen her fall to the ground looking half dead. She had been hurt while with him. He blamed himself. Remus knew that the simple stunning spell that was cast on her hadn't actually hurt her, but if it had been a killing curse he would have never been able to forgive himself for losing her.

Remus Lupin didn't live a life that would accommodate a wife. Or heaven forbid children. He wouldn't be able to provide for her. And with that thought his mind wondered back to that first date at the Leaky Cauldron and how she snuck away to pay the check thinking he didn't see her.

That night. That night had been absolutely perfect. The dinner and the walk through the city. How they kissed under the city lights and didn't care that people were having to walk around them to get to where they needed to go. How shocked he was when he kissed her. How he didn't realize what he was doing until he was pulling away for air and needing more of her lips. He pushed the thought away hoping to not think about her anymore.

Sirius walked into the kitchen and saw Remus sitting there reading. He knew it was odd, but also knew to not bring it up. He made his cup of tea and left the room quietly. He wanted Remus to be happy and knew that being with Tonks he would be. But he also knew that it was far too soon to bring up this subject. So he let his friend sit and read in peace.

Remus hadn't actually read most of the book. He kept re-reading the same paragraph over and over. He couldn't seem to focus his mind at all. Everywhere he went in the house he saw her. Heard her. Smelled her. Her apple shampoo. Her pink hair quickly turning red as he teased her or moved so she'd have to readjust. Or simply the use of her full name.

Her name. She may have hated it, but he loved saying it. Why couldn't he stop thinking about her? He knew that he did the right thing by breaking it off. He was keeping her safe. What if Snape suddenly decided that he was going to stop bringing him his potion? He may hurt Tonks. There were too many factors in this relationship. It just wasn't going to work and there was no point in falling more in love with her if he could help it.

The way she looked at him when he told her they had to stop made him want to fall off of a cliff. But it wasn't fair. None of this was fair to either of them. Nothing. He kept wondering how she was doing. He knew she was hurting. The way she last looked at him he knew that he broke her. Eventually she would realize that he did what was best for her.

Remus was thinking more about Tonks than he was about himself. He suddenly could feel everything that he had been avoiding. The pain of losing the one person that he had truly loved in his life. It was cutting him in half knowing that when he walked upstairs to the parlor to return the book she would not be there lying on the sofa with her feet up. He had been alone for most of his life, but now, he felt more alone than he ever had before. Like half of him had left and was never coming back. He shut his book violently and slammed it on the table. There was nothing there that was going to be able to get his mind off of her. And in just four days she would be back at 12 Grimmauld Place for an Order meeting.

And sure enough four days had past and Remus was sitting in the basement kitchen made himself a cup of tea and sat at the far end of the table. He was dreading seeing her again, but felt his heart leap when he heard a crack echo through the room. He looked up and saw faded pink hair standing in front of him. He cleared his throat and she turned to look at him. He fell to pieces at the sight of her.

But nothing could change. It was over.

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 _A/N: Okay and this is part 2. I made these chapters really short on purpose to get through them quicker. I didn't want to put any dialogue in them so it could just be able what they were going through in a little more detail than them just talking about it. I hope you enjoyed both of these chapters. Because it's my Christmas break from acting school I may or may not write more. So it may be a couple weeks before I am able to continue the story. But I'm excited about the next chapter._

 _As always don't forget to follow, favorite, and review these chapters. And follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. I'm gonna go hide now._

 _XOXO_


	7. Explanations

Tonks stood motionless for a moment as she looked at Remus sitting there. They had seen each other since he ended it, but she had made sure that they weren't left alone together. Now she couldn't think of any good excuse to walk out of the room. They would all be meeting there and she couldn't hear if anyone else was in the house already. Should she say something? What was there to say to him? Should she ask why he ended things?

Remus looked puzzled for a moment before lowering his eye line so all he could see was her hand and his cup of tea. Seeing her made him hurt and he couldn't be thinking about that just before an Order meeting. He couldn't let himself be distracted right now. This was too important. They had gotten some news about Voldemort's position and they all needed to clear their minds and be level headed during this meeting. Especially when Mad-Eye shows up. Everything needed to seem normal. And though every Order member knew about the brief relationship between Remus and Tonks and they had all been there right after it ended the two of them still needed to be sure to act like it wasn't affecting them.

Tonks' thoughts got the better of her as she sat and watched him avoid her eyes. Avoid even looking in her direction. She had to know. She had to know exactly why he ended it. It was killing her and if she didn't find out she thought she'd go completely mad.

"Why," she finally asked harshly. This caused Remus to finally look away from his cup and up at the young woman standing in front of him. "I mean, I know why. At least I think I do. But you didn't say anything. You didn't tell me. Talk to me Remus. Just say something." The woman was almost in tears. She knew that if she was in the same room with him alone this was going to happen. She knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from asking. And of course it was going to be at exactly the wrong time.

They both sat there for a moment and didn't say anything to each other. Tonks was certain that she wasn't going to get an answer from him and she could no longer stand being alone with him. So she turned on her heel and headed out of the kitchen.

"Tonks," she heard him say softly from behind her. She stopped in the doorway. Didn't turn around. "It just wasn't going to work."

With these words Tonks spun around to face him. "Why? If you don't care for me then say something. I'll let it go. Please just explain it to me."

Remus stood and slowly walked over to her. He looked her straight in the eye and took her hands in his own. He wanted to tell her. The words were right there on his lips ready to tell her the truth. But he knew it would disappoint her. And that's the last thing he wanted to do to her.

Tonks couldn't wait any longer to hear his answer. She moved to exit the kitchen and not come back until the meeting had officially started. She couldn't be in the same room as him. It was too hard for her. It was breaking her heart. His silence. As she pulled away from him she felt his grip on her tighten. She even thought she felt him pull her to his body. But she wasn't sure.

Remus still didn't say anything to her as she freed herself from his grasp and walked away, exiting the kitchen. Then she heard him speak. "Tonks," he said very quietly. "I do care."

Hearing this made Tonks stop. She didn't dare turn around to face him. She didn't want to start crying.

"I care for you more than you know," he said from behind her. "This just isn't going to work."

"How do you know," she said her hair shifting promptly to bright red as she turned to face him. "You didn't give it a chance. There was nothing wrong until I got hit with that stunning spell. You weren't concerned with anything and now it's all a problem?"

She knew. She knew exactly why he had ended the relationship.

"It was always a problem," Remus said loudly. "I just tried to ignore it. I would be hurting you. I'm thinking of—"

"You," Tonks finished for him. "If you think that you're going to get off that easily you're sorely mistaken. You're being selfish."

"So are you," Remus said back to her. "You're thinking of your own feelings. Not mine and I feel that a relationship would damage you. In more than one way."

The two of them stood staring at each other for what seemed like several minutes. Neither could think of the right thing to say. So they said nothing. They stood completely still.

Tonks opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. This was the first time in her life that she had been at a loss for words. This wasn't something either of them were used to. Tonks always had a smart quip to say no matter what. But this time she was silent.

"Tonks, dearie," the young woman heard from behind her.

Tonks turned back around and saw Molly coming towards her with her, Molly's, arms open to give her a hug. Molly wrapped the young witch up and held her tightly.

As Molly pulled away she whispered, "how are you feeling, dear?"

Tonks looked back at Remus and then back towards Molly. "I'm handling it," she said with finality. Molly didn't press for anything more. She knew how much this girl was hurting since the end of her relationship.

Molly watched the girl walk and sit down at the table waiting for the meeting to start. Her hair slowly turning to a mousy brown color and her eyes turning green, her natural color. Seeing the young witch like this was not something that Molly had ever wanted to see. Tonks never went anywhere without her bright pink hair. Her ever changing eyes. Molly figured she had never seen Tonks with the same eye color more than once. This wasn't good for her. Tonks was entering in a depression that Molly knew would be highly dangerous during this time in all of their lives. But there was nothing she could think of to do. She could talk to Remus, but she knew that Remus was stubborn and wouldn't listen to her.

Molly Weasley had never seen Remus Lupin so happy. She could rarely get him to smile lately. Until they found Remus holding Tonks as she lay sleeping on his lap. Even though everything in their world was under attack Remus still looked perfectly content during his time with Tonks. It was wonderful to see him like that. But now? Now he looked even more depressed than before. Molly knew it was because he was forcing himself to follow his head and not his true feelings. Remus was a thinker and he always would be. But despite that he had one of the biggest hearts one could imagine. But because of that Remus always contradicted himself when it came to matters of the heart.

Molly looked back over to Tonks and saw her trying to discreetly wipe a tear from her face. Seeing this was breaking the older woman's heart. She didn't want to see two people she cared so much about hurting like this. Especially when it could all be avoided if Remus would stop feeling so sorry for himself all of the time. If Remus would open his eyes a little more he could see that Nymphadora Tonks was standing there. Ready. Ready to be with him no matter what. Molly knew that Tonks was never going to go away in the way in which Remus was hoping. He was hoping that Tonks would just stay clear of him. Just leave him alone so she was a little safer. But she wasn't going to.

The meeting had dragged on with Mad-Eye talking and Sirius teasing Snape endlessly. Arguing ensued and Tonks tuned it all out. She didn't have the energy to get involved in Sirius' and Snape's school grudges. She had never been a fan of Snape's while she was attending Hogwarts. She understood why Sirius was always going after him. Severus was still holding onto what happened to him when he was fifteen years old and that gave Sirius ammunition to tease him mercilessly. And today Remus hadn't even stepped in to stop Sirius' attacks. It wasn't worth it. Sirius always ended up getting upset with Remus and he couldn't have that today.

After several hours of talking and fighting, Mad-Eye had informed The Order that he had heard of Voldemort's movement. He had moved out of Albania and into Romania. Kingsley had shared that Fudge was still refusing to see reason and kicked him out of his office. Sirius complained of having to be kept under lock and key. Insisting on going out as Padfoot or Snuffles. Mad-Eye wouldn't even acknowledge that he could hear Sirius. They all knew Sirius leaving could be the end of so many things. Mainly all of their freedom. Though Sirius insisted he wouldn't be recognized.

After the meeting everyone left Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Leaving only Sirius, Remus, and Tonks sitting in the kitchen together. Sirius kept looking back and forth between Remus and Tonks. He gave Remus a knowing look then got up to leave the table. Tonks didn't want him to leave. It would make things much more awkward there if Sirius were to leave. The older man patted Tonks on the shoulder and gave her a quick wink before he left.

Tonks knew that Sirius was telling her to stay here and attempt to talk to Remus again. After Sirius left the two sat there and didn't say anything. Tonks couldn't seem to make herself go home until she spoke to Remus.

"Remus," she started. He noticed she sounded defeated. "Don't be vague. Please just explain why wouldn't work."

Remus slowly looked up at her. Her pale skin, brown hair, and green eyes. Something he wasn't accustomed to seeing on her. And he knew it was because of him.

"Tonks," he said quietly. "You have a full life ahead of you. I do not. I'm not going to be the one to take that away from you. Being with an older man would take away from the life you're supposed to have. And even worse, my condition is a danger to you. If I ever stop having access to Wolfsbane I would hurt you. You wouldn't be safe with me. It's better that you live your life separate from mine."

Tonks thought on this for a moment before she formed her response. "Who gave you the right to make these decisions for me and without me? You never heard my side of this. What I think of everything. Because I don't care. I don't care about any of that." She stood and walked over to Remus. Sat down in the chair next to him. "Remus, I love you. All of you. No matter your age or your condition. None of that matters to me. Please understand that."

Remus took her hand in his own. Everything he felt for her, everything that he had been pushing away, hit him. "I do understand, Tonks. I haven't felt a lot of fear since I stopped fearing my changes. But every time I'm with you I fear for you. Not myself. I'm worried I may do something that will get you injured. Or hurt you in any other way."

"You've already done that, Remus," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I hurt. And anyone I'm out on a mission with could do something to get me injured. Not just you. I can take care of myself. You know that. And as for your condition, you know I've never cared. If you lose access to Wolfsbane there are precautions we could take. Just as when you were in school." She stopped talking for a moment. "Remus," she said softly lifting her head and looking him in the eye. "I choose you. I'll always choose you. Without pause, with no doubts, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you. Until it gets too hard for me. And then I'll have to choose me. So let me choose you. Please."

Tonks was sobbing now. Quietly. Not letting any sound escape from her lips.

Remus stood and walked around the table to her. He helped her stand and pulled her in tightly to his chest. He breathed in her scent. The smell of her apple shampoo faint so he buried his head into her hair. He didn't know if he could let go of her. He felt her shaking with sobs in his arms and held her tighter.

"Dora," he said into her hair making her still for a moment. He had never called her anything but 'Tonks' and was surprised at him. "I want to choose you. But I can't. Maybe after this war. But I don't know. I'll still be a werewolf. It really is better this way," he had pulled away to look her in the face. He saw the pain plastered all over it. He saw her breaking. "I'm sorry. It's just, that's how it has to be."

Tonks stepped away wiping her tears. "Alright," she said making sure there was distance between the two of them. "I understand. You'll never change my mind, Remus, but I'm not going to continue to plead with you. Not when you've made up yours. You're not being fair to either of us. I'm done," she said and Disapparated from Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Leaving Remus standing there with his arms still in front of him. As if to hold her slender body. The only woman Remus had ever loved was gone. And he was sure he'd never get her back.

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 _A/N: Okay so the latter half of this had me sobbing. I'm hurting myself here and don't know why. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Took me a while to figure out how to make this chapter flow and get where I wanted it to get._

 _Please remember to follow, favorite, maybe even review it! And follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. And be sure to ask for a follow back if you wish._

 _XOXO_


	8. In Mother's Arms

Andromeda Tonks was sitting peacefully in her living room while he husband, Ted, was putting the kettle on to make them both a cup of tea. Their day had been going smoothly. Neither had to work that day and they had decided to spend the day together. The two of them loved being able to spend an entire day together without a care. They knew their daughter was fine because the Ministry, or rather Mad-Eye Moody, hadn't come to their door saying something had happened to her. Though they hadn't heard from her in several days. Normally she sends an owl or two during the week to tell them how she was doing. There hasn't been an owl in over a week. Andromeda knew though that if something had seriously happened to her daughter she would know.

As Ted walked back to the living room to give his wife her cup of tea he looked out the window to see someone Apparating onto their front lawn. He nearly dropped the tea when he saw his daughter near sprinting up to the front door. Ted gave his wife a look telling her to go to the door and greet their daughter. Andromeda stood and opened the door and Tonks wasted no time flinging herself into her mother's arms. Ted rushed to pour another cup of tea for his daughter as Andromeda tugged on her to bring her inside the house.

Being back in her childhood home made Tonks feel like a little girl again. Sitting with mum and dad on the living room sofa drinking tea. Though in her childhood there was always laughter, this time she couldn't stop herself from crying. Tonks told her parents exactly what had happened with Remus. They were shocked to find out that their daughter had briefly been in a relationship with a man thirteen years her senior. But as she spoke about Remus they understand why she had fallen in love with him. She went on and on about how kind he is and loving. How passionate he gets when talking about things that he loves. How he would lose himself in a book he had already read three times. But most importantly how he treated her. There was never a feeling of age difference, until Remus ended the relationship. He never felt superior or thought her a child in need of watching. He just cared for her. Fell in love with her.

"Then why did he break off the relationship," Ted asked his daughter.

Through tears Tonks responded, "A number of things. Starting with the age difference. He kept saying how I had a life ahead of me and he had already lived his." She stopped for a moment. She didn't know exactly how her parents would react to her falling in love with a werewolf. She knew he mother wasn't like most of the family they belonged to. The Blacks were pure-blood supremacists. But after Andromeda married Tonks' her father, who was muggle born, she was disowned by her family. Her sisters, Nacissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lastrange, hadn't seen her since Andromeda had married Edward Tonks.

"My dear," Andromeda said pulling her sobbing daughter in for a hug. "Give this a little time. First loves always hurt when they end."

"But he still loves me," Tonks said through her sobs. "He won't deny it. He's just pigheaded."

No one in the room said anything while Tonks continued to cry into her mother's arms. It took almost an hour for Tonks to be able to calm herself and breathe properly again. Ted had started making jokes and Tonks was able to chuckle at them. She was finally feeling like she might be able to start healing from this. Or at least be able to stop crying every time she thought about Remus. She had kept her mind off of him as she sat and watched her mother put supper together and all the way through the meal. The day was beginning to feel somewhat normal again.

Andromeda insisted that Tonks stay there that night. In case she was in need of a late night chocolate fix with her mother. Being alone could easily stir up the young woman's thoughts again. Ted tucked his twenty-three year old daughter into her childhood bed and kissed her forehead as he said goodnight to her. The candles went out and Tonks was alone for the first time that day.

Tonks stared up at the ceiling and her mind went blank. Then a gust of wind blew her window open making the curtains blow. She got up to see to the windows and looked up at the night sky. The moon was almost coming up on being full again. Another week and a half until Remus would transform. And with a single glance out at the night sky Remus Lupin drifted back to her thoughts. She pictured Remus having to go through his transformation alone. And the morning after the last one. How they fell asleep together on the sofa in the parlor. How just his touch made her feel so grounded and safe again.

The woman stood there staring up at the sky not able to take her mind off of the moon and what the man she loves goes through every single month. She remembered how he told her that before he had access to the Wolfsbane potion how he's sit and hurt himself. How much pain he was in. How ill he looked before and after a transformation. She wanted to be there for him in the coming days because he was once again alone.

With that thought she slammed the windows shut again and closed the curtains. Sleeping in her childhood room brought back happier memories with her parents. Changing her look suddenly and startling her father then laughing at his surprised face. Before she realized it her eyes were slowly closing and she finally felt tired for the first time since the break-up.

The next morning Tonks woke to the smell of breakfast downstairs and the sound of laughter. Tonks always admired her parents' marriage. They were so happy. The disownment that marrying Ted Tonks had caused. The family drama between Andromeda and her sisters. It never seemed to really effect Andromeda, she was always so happy with her life. Her life with Ted and Nymphadora. It was everything that she needed. All the love that was in that house throughout Tonks' entire childhood was more than many people got. Her mother came from a very prejudice family and her sisters were on the dark side of the wizarding world. Bellatrix had been locked up for years after being Voldemort's right hand. Narcissa was now married to Lucius Malfoy which wasn't much better.

Tonks got up and hurried downstairs so she could be a part of the happiness in the house that morning. She entered the kitchen and saw her father spinning her mother around the room to a song that Tonks had never heard. Something from their past. Ted spun Andromeda in and kissed her. Tonks stood in the doorway and smiled at her goofy parents. They still acted like teenagers most of the time. She loved watching her parents act this way. It gave her a little hope for herself. And knowing that they went through ridicule and problems with the Black family made her feel like maybe she would get her time with Remus. She might get another chance with him. If he opened his eyes a little more.

Suddenly she felt her arm get pulled and saw her father ready to dance with her. Tonks hadn't laughed like this in days. She had been with Remus the last time she felt this kind of joy in herself. They spent the entire morning laughing with each other and eating breakfast. She didn't want to leave this house. She would have to face reality again. Though she felt when she saw Remus again it would be just a little easier on her. She wouldn't feel like she was dying when she looked into his eyes. She knew that if she ever felt like that again she could just go home for a couple of hours, be with her parents, and her mood could change fast and she would stop thinking about Remus.

Tonks went back to her London flat that afternoon. She was able to clean the place up a little bit. She always went to clean it up with magic, but it never looked the way Andromeda cleaned the house. Her mother had a way with getting the things in her house to put themselves away perfectly. Tonks was so focused on cleaning her flat that she hadn't thought about Remus since she left her parent's home.

The next day Tonks easily got around to head to her tiny cubical at the Ministry and finally finish some of the paperwork that had been piling up on her desk for weeks. She liked to pretend that her Order work wasn't getting in the way of her Ministry work, but it wasn't true. She had paperwork from weeks prior sitting on her desk with letters from Kingsley telling her she needed to get it done or people were going to start asking questions. She had always been rather quick on her filing, but once she started working more with The Order she had let it slip. According to Kingsley people were starting to take notice of it and wondering if she was still a good fit for an Auror. They had contacted Mad-Eye Moody, but he insisted that she was a perfect Auror and they were clearly mad if they thought otherwise.

The morning went smoothly getting caught up with her paperwork. After her workday was over she decided she should go check in with Sirius. She was hoping that Remus wouldn't be there, but was prepared to face him this time. She wasn't going to let her guard down. She was finally feeling healed enough that she could see him without completely breaking.

"Remus, listen," Sirius shouted as he stormed after his friend through the house. "You're being an ass, Moony."

"I do not want to discuss this further," Remus said shutting his bedroom door in his friends face and used a sealing charm on the door. He heard Sirius walk away from his door and collapsed onto his bed.

Downstairs Sirius walked into the parlor to Tonks looking at one of the books that Remus would normally be reading.

"Tonks," Sirius said making Tonks jump and drop the book.

"Sirius," she said accusingly. "Don't sneak up like that. Nearly scared me to death. Are you doing well? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine," Sirius replied. "How are you," he asked taking her arm and making her sit next to him on the sofa. "I've been berating Remus for you."

Tonks chuckled and swatted at her cousin. She liked that she was getting closer to Sirius. She never met any of her family members because of her mother's disownment years ago. "I appreciate that, Sirius," she said to him. "But I'm doing much better. I spent all of yesterday with my mum. I hadn't seen them in a while and it was nice to act like a teenager again."

"Wasn't long ago that you were one," Sirius said to her. "What did you see in that old man upstairs?"

Tonks laughed again. "Not sure," she said honestly. "You know him. He's a great man. Kind, brave, loving…" Her mind wondered to what Remus may be doing upstairs in his bedroom at that moment. He was probably reading in the chair near the window. Occasionally looking out to the street below and watching the people walk by.

"Not much to look at," Sirius said glancing at his young cousin briefly. "You know," he started, "he's really hurting about it too. He wishes he didn't have to do it. In my opinion though, he didn't have to."

"I know," she said. "He thought he had to in order to keep me safe, but failed to realize that I am a grown woman and I volunteered to do this. It's not like I'm a fragile doll. He refuses to see reason. But I've decided to not let myself dwell on how I cannot change who he is. I don't want to."

"Well," Sirius started, "He's a dammed fool for what he did. You deserve better."

Tonks forced a smile to her lips. Talking about Remus with someone who knew him better than anyone else was nice. She knew that Sirius was just talking and seeing if he could get something out of her. He probably did that same thing with Remus.

"Maybe after this war I'll find exactly what I deserve," Tonks said as the parlor door opened revealing Remus Lupin standing there.

"Tonks," he asked surprised that she was there on a day that there wasn't an Order meeting scheduled. He didn't expect to see her there talking to Sirius. Even smiling with him.

"Hello, Remus," Tonks said with a false cheeriness. She looked at him and saw that it was getting close to the cycle. He was beginning to fade and she had an instinct to go and get him something to eat. Something to make him feel a little better. Even if he wasn't feeling better and just lying to her to make her feel like she was helping him.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here today," he said not moving from the doorway. "Why are you here?"

Tonks looked at Sirius and they shared a smile. "Came to check in. Had some time after all the paperwork that was scattered on my desk. Just making sure that everything here was doing well. Do you need me to get you anything?"

Remus was shocked at her words. He didn't think she'd offer to help him out after their last exchange. She had left in tears after pleading with him to let her love him. After she had left he sat in the kitchen staring at the wall for four hours until Sirius came in and dragged him away. Took him to the bedroom he was living in. He didn't sleep at all that night. He kept hearing her sobs in his head. And now, as he stood there staring at her, it was taking everything within him not to jump over the coffee table and kiss her.

What he needed was standing in front of him. Her hair was a soft brown and she had a look in her eyes that told him she was covering up how broken she was. She was very convincing of it as well. If he hadn't spend several weeks lounging around the house with her he would have missed the signs. But he had and he could tell that she was covering up every ounce of pain she was feeling.

"I don't need anything," he finally replied to her. "Do you need to take a trip to Diagon Alley? Would you like some company?"

"Remus Lupin," he heard Sirius say, "Are you asking her out on a date? Didn't you just end a relationship you had with this woman?"

"I only asked if she wanted company on a Diagon Alley trip," Remus said trying to back track his words.

Tonks was blushing slightly. He wasn't doing well covering up everything he was feeling. "I'm fine, Remus. Not going to Diagon Alley. Sirius said you don't need anything. I'm gonna head back to my flat." Tonks started to leave the room and walked by Remus brushing his arm slightly. "I'll see you in a couple of days for the meeting."

Tonks Disapparated back to her flat and fell onto her sofa. She hadn't been nearly as ready as she felt before she went to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. She needed her mother again. She needed someone to tell her she'll eventually get through all of this. Eventually she'll feel better.

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 _A/N: I feel like this chapter is really wordy. And they are no closer to getting back together. Not completely in love with this chapter, but you can't love every single chapter as much as others._

 _But as always please follow, favorite, review. And follow on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._


	9. Anna Karenina

_A/N: I may have borrowed some lines from Tolstoy. But I totally credited him in the chapter._

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There was just a few days before Remus was going to transform again. Tonks had increasingly been going back to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. It truly was getting easier for her to be in Remus' company. Every time she left it physically hurt her though. She was starting to wonder if it was being with him or the leaving that was hurting her. But thinking about it caused her pain as well and it was simply easier to not.

Tonks was at 12 Grimmauld Place listening to Sirius talk about their family. She could tell is was very reluctant to. There were very few people Sirius liked less than his own family. They walked through and looked at the family tree tapestry. Sirius told her why his mother had burned off so many names. Alphard Black who had assisted Sirius after he ran away. Isla who had married a muggle born. Phineas the Second who supported Muggle rights. Cedrella, she had married a Weasley. Marius who had been a Squib. Sirius who ran away. And Andromeda Tonks who married Ted. Tonks ran her fingers over the burn mark above her mother's name.

The young witch had never given much thought to the family that she knew next to nothing about. Not until she stood in the room with the tapestry hanging in front of her. Sirius had slipped out of the room leaving Tonks alone. A few moments later as Tonks still looking at her mother's name and realized that there wasn't any sign of her on this tree she sensed someone come into the room behind her.

"All the burn marks are for the good ones," she heard Remus' voice come from behind her. "Be happy you're name isn't up there."

Tonks spun around and saw him standing there staring at Sirius' scorch mark. "It's still a little strange looking at this," she said turning back to look at the Black family tree. "I didn't even know about most of these people. My mum doesn't really talk about the family. Talking to Sirius isn't much better. He talks about them with such disgust."

"As he should," Remus said. "They weren't a good group of people. You see what Walburga did to the people she disliked in her family. Those who thought differently than the great house of Black."

"I suppose," Tonks said and turned back to face him. "How are you feeling?"

"Starting to feel the effects of the cycle," Remus said honestly. "You know what I get like this time every month. It's not easy, but Severus brought over my potion this morning. So at least I won't attempt to harm myself."

This calmed Tonks slightly. Ever since they met she worried about him when it came to the full moon. "That's good." She couldn't think of anything more to say to him. She wanted to go over and hold him. Maybe head into the parlor and fall asleep on the sofa again.

Several awkward moments past before either of them spoke. "How's work," Remus finally asked.

"Good," she replied. "Getting caught up. Kingsley's been on my ass because my Ministry work had been lacking after joining The Order. Apparently there has been a rumor about how I may not actually be ready to be an Auror."

"Well, that's not true," Remus said sounding as though he was ready to defend her honor.

"That's what Mad-Eye told them all," Tonks said laughing and walking out of the room and down the hall. She stopped at the parlor and quickly entered. She picked up the book that Remus had always loved. She heard the door creak open and Remus' footsteps follow her into the room.

"Have you read that yet," Remus asked. "I told you to weeks ago."

"Not yet," Tonks said. "I don't have the same love of literature that you do. But you probably have this book mostly memorized by now. I know it's your favorite."

Remus chuckled at her. He sat down on the sofa watching as Tonks flipped through the pages of his absolutely favorite book. _Anna Karenina_ by Leo Tolstoy, a Muggle writer. It was the one book that Remus read strictly for pleasure. He had found it in a Muggle shop in London once years ago. He had read most of the first part while standing alone in the shop and had to have it. It was the only Muggle book that he had read. He didn't have many opportunities to read fictional books like this recently.

Remus reached up and pulled Tonks to sit next to him. He took the book out of her hands and opened it up to the first page.

"Are you going to read it to me," Tonks asked with a smile on her face.

Remus didn't say anything. He waved his wand, started a fire, and summoned a blanket from across the room that covered them up. Tonks had the biggest urge to curl into his side and rest her head on his shoulder.

Remus started to read to her. _"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."_

Remus looked over at her and knew that she may not enjoy the book as much as he did, but he was happy that she wasn't resisting sitting there with him. She had curled up into the corner of the sofa listening intently. She was beginning to really enjoy the story as Remus read on.

Remus thought that she would begin to fall asleep as soon as he started to read the book. Though he never thought he'd be sitting there reading aloud to a woman that he loved more than anything else in his world. A woman that if he wasn't what he was he could see spending his life with. Loving her for the rest of his life.

"' _But what's to be done? What's to be done?' he said to himself in despair, and found no answer.'_ " Remus read to her finishing the chapter. He closed the book and looked over at an upset Tonks.

"Why did you stop," she asked taking the book and opening it back up to where he had closed it and began to read it again.

"Thought we could pace ourselves," Remus said taking the book from her. "It'll be an excuse to see you," he said closing the book not taking his eyes off of her.

They both sat there staring at each other for several seconds before Remus leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. This took Tonks by complete surprise.

Tonks pulled away and looked at him. "You were the one that put a stop to this and now…what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Tonks," he said moving further away from her. "Won't happen again."

As the last word came out of his mouth he felt Tonks' lips on his once more. Her hands moved to his face pulling him closer to her. Remus' hands wrapped around her waist and brought her body closer to his. He pulled her so close that she now had her legs wrapped around his torso. She didn't want to pull away. Even for a brief second to take a breath. Because once she did she knew that she would have to leave. He'd tell her exactly what he had been telling her. That the two of them being together was dangerous for both of them.

"Remus, I…" they both heard Sirius say from the doorway. "Sorry, carry on," he said as they broke apart and looked at him as he slipped out of the room closing the doors behind him.

Tonks looked back at Remus and realized her position. She quickly moved back to the corner of the sofa. Remus picked the book up from the floor where he had dropped it to kiss her the first time.

"Tonks," he said not taking his eyes off of the book in front of him. "That can't happen. I think…"

"Don't you dare, Remus Lupin," she said defiantly. "Don't you dare say we shouldn't see each other outside of The Order. It's hard enough knowing that we can't see each other the way I need to see you because you're too wrapped up feeling sorry for yourself!" She was in hysterics at this point. Standing next to the sofa screaming at the man before her. He kept his eyes down staring at _Anna Karenina_.

Remus wanted to disappear into the book. He hated the way their relationship was turning out. How once they were happy and in love. Now it was awkward and painful to be around each other. Remus kept thinking back to their first kiss. That night in London as they stood on the sidewalk allowing people to walk around them. Not caring what people were thinking about the two of them taking up walking space.

"Why are you doing this," Tonks yelled as tears streamed down her face. "Why can't you allow yourself to be happy?"

"I don't deserve it," Remus hollered back at her. "What I did as a teenager. What I am."

"Don't do that to yourself," Tonks said in a calmer tone. "You've done so much in your life. Given so much to other people. And yet you still sit there thinking you're not worth it. Why won't you listen to me when I tell you that you're one of the most amazing people I have ever met? You're kind and smart. You care more about other people than you do about yourself. You deserve to have someone care for you the way you care for everyone else in your life."

Remus didn't respond to her. Her words just kept circling his mind. He heard her say them, but they weren't making any sense in his head. It's like she had been speaking in gibberish. His eyes kept darting back and forth not landing on anything for more than a millisecond. He could feel Tonks staring holes into him. He tried to shake it off for a moment so he could make sense of what she had just said to him. But his years of education and the hundreds of books he has read were useless at this point in his life. Throughout his entire childhood he just assumed that he would end up living his life on his own. He never thought that he find friends like James and Sirius; let alone find someone he loves as much as he loved Tonks.

Tonks stopped yelling at him long enough to see the confused look on his face. A look that Remus Lupin never had. He was never a confused man. His mind worked so quickly that everything that came in contact with him automatically made sense. Even things that he knew nothing about, which there weren't many of. To Tonks it seemed like it was confusing to him to simply let someone love him. Like the idea of being worthy of love was so outlandish that even the brilliant Remus Lupin couldn't grasp the concept.

"Remus," Tonks said completely level headed again. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know," Remus responded. "Tonks," he started, "I'm not going to tell you that we can't be together because of all of the reasons I've already given you." This statement gave Tonks a sliver of hope. "But I am going to say we can't be together. It's not fair to you. I have to figure out what you just said because I right now I have no idea what is was. You just have to give me a little time, Dora, that's what I'm asking for now."

Tonks took a breath and shared a small smile with the room. She didn't have much more to say to him. She had finally gotten things off of her chest that she needed to say. She walked over to where he was sitting on the sofa and sat down next to him.

"I hope," she started, "that you can understand that you deserve to be cared for. Even if you decide that you have to leave Britain or spend your life alone. Just know that you deserve a good life. And I love you." She stood and paused for a moment before turning to face him and leaning down to kiss his lips gently. She pulled away before she let herself get lost in him again. They both needed some space to think. And for now she thought it was best that they don't see each other outside of The Order of the Phoenix.

After Tonks left Number 12 Grimmauld Place Remus picked up _Anna Karenina_ and began to read again.

* * *

 _A/N: Okay, so I've gotten a few messages from people on different sites and I'm gonna be completely honest. They made me cry. Begging me for more chapters and that finding my Tumblr excited them and they said they loved me like I was some sort of big writer person not some broke acting student sitting in her Harry Potter bedroom in New York crying over Remadora most of my time. So thank you guys so much. Those types of messages mean the absolute world to me and I can't believe people take their time to send them to me. I love you guys._

 _But as always I ask for a follow or favorite or review. And follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _Love you guys._

 _XOXO_


	10. Past Conversations

_A/N: So before you read this chapter I want you to know I was getting bored with writing during The Order of the Phoenix so there is a bit of a time jump to after Sirius' death at the end of Book 5._

* * *

" _Remus, you're being overly stubborn on this," Sirius said to his old friend as they both sat in the basement kitchen drinking tea. Sirius hadn't brought up what he truly thought about Remus' decision to end the only relationship that he had ever truly been involved in. Or at least that Sirius knew of. Remus was never the most forthcoming man. He hadn't seen Remus open up to anyone until Tonks._

" _I'm only trying to protect the girl," Remus said quickly standing and walking over to the kettle to refill his tea cup._

" _That's the problem isn't it," Sirius shouted. The man got up and walked over to his friend and took the kettle out of his hands. "You're looking at her as though she is still a girl and she's not. She's nowhere near our age, but, Remus, you love the woman. Why can't you just let yourself?"_

" _Quiet, Sirius," Remus shouted._

" _NO," Sirius shouted back. "You are such a pigheaded stubborn man. I sit here like a caged animal, I have a reason to be depressed. You have the love a woman and freedom to roam the world as you please. You should at least attempt happiness, Remus."_

Remus was sitting in the parlor of 12 Grimmauld Place remembering this conversation he had with his friend just a few weeks prior. Now he didn't have Sirius to talk sense into him. To tell him he was being stupid and Tonks was so depressed that she wasn't coming around when she wasn't needed. After the battle at the Department of Mysteries she had stopped talking to almost everyone. Besides Molly and her parents. Life had become a lonely abyss for Remus; again.

Remus hadn't really talked to anyone either. He stopped communicating very quickly after Sirius' death. Remus no longer had anyone he was close to. Everyone that he had relied on as a teenager was gone. The woman he loved wasn't speaking to him because he didn't want to hurt her and in making sure that he didn't hurt her he pushed her away and lost her. And it was slowly killing him.

That day there was to be an Order meeting at 12 Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore would be making an appearance along with Snape and the rest of the members. Voldemort was officially back in almost full power and Fudge had to admit it. He had seen Voldemort with his own eyes and now the wizarding world had been sent into a panic. The Ministry of Magic was sending Aurors everywhere there was word of Voldemort and where he may be. They were finally taking the threat of Voldemort's return with seriousness.

This also meant that The Order was now meeting more often and those who both worked at the Ministry and with The Order had doubled their work. Kingsley, Arthur, and Tonks were in a constant state of exhaustion attempting to do both jobs well enough to get something done.

Tonks hadn't had a decent night's sleep since Sirius had died. She thought it was because Sirius was her cousin and having more of her family die wasn't what she wanted. She wished that she could have had more time with Sirius and gotten closer to him. He was the only family that she could have a relationship with besides her mother. So she threw herself into her work and didn't even give herself time to think about Remus. They really only saw each other in passing.

" _Dear," Molly started, "he said he needed time to figure out how to let someone care for him. That was not him telling you 'never,'" she said to the young witch._

 _Tonks walked away from Molly and looked out the dusty window. "Molly, I can't keep going back to this. It's been hard enough. I haven't been able to morph in months. I've got to figure out a way to move on. It's causing me to lose focus and I can't do that right now. Mad-Eye is sure that Voldemort is going to show himself soon and I can't be distracted when that time comes," she said to Molly as she paced through the room._

 _Molly walked up to Tonks and hugged the girl close to her body. "I can understand that. It's gonna take some time though, first loves are hard to forget."_

 _Tonks smiled into Molly's shoulder while a few tears fell from her eyes._

The Order of the Phoenix had gathered in the basement kitchen and awaited the arrival of Dumbledore. They didn't have to wait long until Albus Dumbledore came walking down the stairs into the kitchen.

"How's Harry," Molly asked quickly.

"He's back with his aunt and uncle," Dumbledore said and sat down at the head of the table. The chair that Sirius had occupied many times. Dumbledore went over many of his theories. Then he wanted to talk about assignments for the people in the room. Mad-Eye was to keep an eye out. Arthur was to watch out for anything unnerving at the Ministry along with Kingsley. And he had something very dangerous for Remus.

"Remus," he started slowly, "I would like it if you would go undercover with the werewolves and see where their loyalties lie."

Tonks couldn't keep quiet. "We know where they lie. If they discover who Remus is he'll be killed."

The entire room looked at the young witch as she stood their anger coming off of her.

"Nymphadora," Dumbledore started.

"Don't call me 'Nymphadora,'" she mumbled under her breath.

"I will be in constant communication with Remus and I assure you that we will keep him safe," he finished.

"You can't _assure_ anything," she almost shouted.

"Tonks," Molly said taking the girl's arm.

"No," Tonks said pulling away. "I'm not a student anymore. He'll be killed. You're willing to risk him when we already know that the werewolves will only ever look out for themselves and they believe that Voldemort will give them a better life." The young woman was boiling at this point. She wanted to make something explode in the house. And she mostly wanted it to be the tea cup that Dumbledore was drinking from.

"Tonks," she heard Remus' voice softly behind her. "May I speak with you?"

Remus didn't wait for an answer. He took her arm and pulled her from the room. Tonks didn't fight it she thought that maybe she could make him see reason on this topic.

"Please don't agree to this," she started as soon as the kitchen had been shut. "You don't have to. He can't force you."

Remus took her hands in his. "Dora," he started, "I know I do not have to go, but I'm going to."

"Why," she looked as though she was going to cry.

"I have to protect our world," Remus said. "If I can do something small I must. And this may help protect you…" he trailed off.

Tonks finally looked up at him. There was something in his eyes that made Tonks move to wrap her arms around his torso.

"Dora," he said again, "I ended our relationship months ago because I felt as though I couldn't keep you safe. This way I may be able to. I have to do something to protect you. If this is it then I will go."

Remus took Tonks' face in his hands and brought it up so her lips met his. They didn't let themselves get lost within each other, but they stood there with their lips barely touching for several minutes before they separated. Remus didn't let her go and rested his forehead on hers. Tonks reached her arms around him and pulled him into an embrace.

"I love you," she heard Remus say ever so softly into her neck. She pulled him closer.

Tonks pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. "You know I love you too," she said caressing his face. "Please, just be careful. Check in every once in a while. Tell me that you're okay. If you want to keep me safe. You need to keep me sane. Promise me."

"I promise," Remus said running his hands through her hair. "We should go back into the meeting."

"I made such a fool of myself," Tonks said putting her head in her hands.

Remus chuckled and hugged her again. "Every one of them knows why you are so protective. I greatly appreciate you trying to make sure that I am not put in harm's way."

Tonks hit Remus playfully on the arm. Remus took her hand and they walked back into the kitchen together. No one seemed to notice how they had walked in or they chose not to show that they saw their hands together.

"Dumbledore," Remus started, "I am willing to go live with the werewolves."

"I will leave the information with you when I depart," Dumbledore informed him.

The meeting went on a while longer. "Tonks," Dumbledore started again. "You will be stationed in Hogsmede to ensure the safety of Harry and the other students at the school. As well as the Hogsmede occupants."

Tonks simply nodded her head. At least she would be going somewhere that was familiar to her. She had spent a lot of time in Hogsmede during her school years. And often went back to reminisce. She'd be near people that she knew. But she was going to be worlds away from Remus and probably not get to see him in the coming months.

Dumbledore had indeed left the information with Remus when he departed 12 Grimmauld Place that night. Remus was to depart in two days to the Scottish countryside where, word was, the werewolves were living at the time. Remus wasn't going to admit it, but it was rather frightful having to go off and live with werewolves. Especially since he may see the one that attacked him as a boy. He hadn't come in contact with Fenrir Greyback since that night.

But he didn't have time to fret over what may happen once he was within the ranks of the werewolves. He had to prepare to leave and make sure that no one knew that he was there as a spy for The Order of the Phoenix.

Remus sat in his room preparing himself to head off to the werewolves. He heard Tonks whispering to Molly near his door.

 _Molly had been spending much time at 12 Grimmauld Place. Remus would hear her and Sirius speaking of him when they thought he wasn't around. His wolf like hearing often made it easier for Remus to hear things that were going on through the house without anyone knowing he was listening. Though he didn't often use this ability because he didn't want to eavesdrop on his friends._

 _Remus had been sitting in front of a fire inside of his bedroom more often than not after Tonks had stopped coming around the house aside from Order meetings. It was easier to be alone when he was able to shut out other people. Molly Weasley, however; didn't like that he was doing this to himself and would often insist on speaking to him even if he didn't want to._

 _Molly knocked on Remus' bedroom door and insisted that she be allowed to come in. So Remus did as she wished and let her into his bedroom. They both sat in silence in the chairs near the window for a while._

" _Remus," Molly finally said. "It had only been a few weeks. I know you both are hurting, but we…"_

" _Molly," Remus started, "I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to talk about it. She's gone and there's really nothing left to do about it at all. There's no point in bringing it up every few days."_

" _So sorry, dear," Molly said. "I don't know the entirety of your relationship, Remus, but I do know that we all must stay focused." After several moments of Remus not responding to her Molly turned to leave the room. "I shall leave you."_

 _Molly started out of the room before Remus said something. "I do love her," he spat out unexpectedly. He didn't know what he said until after he had heard it come out of his mouth and saw Molly's reaction. She had stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at him._

 _Molly walked over to him and took his hand. "Then tell her that," she told him. "You're being far too stubborn on this matter. We all know that things in our world are going to get far worse before they get any better. You may as well let yourself be a little happy while you can. That girl loves you more than you could possibly know. Let her."_

It was the day before Remus was to depart for the northern part of Scotland. Tonks was busily working around her flat trying to pack her own things since she would be relocating to Hogsmede in a matter of weeks. She heard a knock on her door and hurriedly walked over and opened it to find Remus standing there.

"Remus," she said very surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Honestly, I don't know," he said looking past her. "Packing for your move to Hogsmede?"

Tonks turned around and walked into her flat followed closely by Remus. "Oh, yes," she said closing a trunk that was sitting on her kitchen table. "Dumbledore has me relocating in a few weeks. Have to be settled before the students come back to the school. I suppose you don't need much to go live with the werewolves?"

"Not really," Remus said as he walked around her flat. He had never been there before and it looked awfully like her. There were rock band posters on the walls and a bit of a mess in the kitchen sink. She had trunks of clothes piling up near the window. Many books in piles near an empty trunk. On top he saw she had planned to pack the first part of _Anna Karenina_ and smiled. He picked up the book and flipped through the first few pages noticing that she had marked it after chapter one.

Tonks had turned to watch him. "Thought I might read it on my own," she told him. "Though I could only find one part of it. Suppose I'll find the others. Eventually," she said putting a towel into a drawer in her kitchenette. "Remus, why are you here?"

Remus didn't say anything as he walked over to her. "I wanted to see you before I left. I probably won't be able to communicate with you after I'm gone."

"Not that we're communicating very well now," she said bitterly. "But I suspect you're right. You'll only be able to communicate with Dumbledore I suppose. But I am glad to see you before you're off."

Tonks sat down at her kitchen table and moved a few things so there was space. With a flick of her wand she put the kettle on. Remus walked over and sat in the other chair. That sat in silence as the kettle warmed and the tea was poured for them. As Tonks sipped her tea she kept stealing glances at Remus who looked a little bewildered to be sitting there with her.

"Sorry," she said, "it's such a mess in here. Have been packing all day and it's difficult to pack when as you use magic andnothing wants to be organized." Remus laughed. He loved that Tonks was always a little scattered.

"Understandable," Remus said. "I just wanted to come by and say goodbye to you. Figured you deserved it."

"I do," she told him. "You're basically going off to get yourself killed."

"Cheery," he said trying to make her laugh. "You know why I'm doing this?"

"You say it's because you want to protect me; to protect our world, but," she started, "I believe you're doing it because you believe you deserve going off to live with other werewolves. Just because you are one. Even though you're not like the others. You're still a kind man and you've managed a way around hurting people during your transformations. You're not as the others, Remus, you're much better. I wish you could see it."

Tonks was correct in her thinking. Remus wanted to know for sure if he was doing the right thing, though he didn't realize it himself.

Remus sat and drained his tea cup as Tonks spoke.

"At least I can do something for The Order," he told her. "Maybe this will make this feeling go away."

"Sirius," Tonks asked him. Remus only nodded. "I don't completely understand how you are feeling after his death, but I know it can't be easy. All of your closest friends are gone."

"When James and Lily died and Sirius went to Azkaban for it, it all felt different," Remus said getting up to wonder the flat. "There was this feeling of hope that I may see Sirius again. I believed he was guilty until Harry saw Pettigrew's name on the map. Then it all came back. At some level I knew that Sirius couldn't have betrayed James and Lily. He loved James too much to do so. He wasn't capable of that type of betrayal. Now, it all feels very empty. I feel as I did as a child during my first transformation."

Tonks stood and walked over to Remus putting her hand on his back to comfort him. "I can't imagine how you must be feeling. And I know you feel as though you have to do this; that you feel like it will avenge Sirius' death. Please, just be careful. Keep your mind off of things of a personal nature. You can't be distracted."

Remus turned and wrapped his arms around Tonks' slender body. Tonks reciprocated the embrace and held him as tightly as she possibly could. Tonks finally released him and stepped back. "You should go. You must leave in a few hours," she told him. "Please be careful whilst you're gone."

"I will," he told her walking over to grab the cloak he had left near the door of her flat. "I will write when I am able," he said as she opened the door for him.

"Please," she responded. "I'll be in Hogsmede." Neither spoke as Remus stood in the doorway of her flat facing the outer corridor. "Remus," she said making him turn around to face her. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth another time. This was feeling very much like the end of something. She could very well never see Remus again.

"Yes," he said looking into her eyes. The eyes that used to be a vibrant shade of violet, but were now dull and plain. She didn't say anything though. They both stood staring at each other silent.

Finally Tonks moved to kiss him, but at the last minute decided to kiss only his cheek. "Be safe," she said to him.

"You too," he replied.

Remus could see that Tonks wanted to kiss him, but he didn't do anything about it. He didn't let it show that he was disappointed that she hadn't. Instead he forced a smile at her and nodded his head. He Disapparated leaving Tonks standing there alone as tears silently fell from her eyes.

* * *

 _A/N: I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer to publish. I have been having a very hard time personally and the end of my schooling is fast approaching so I couldn't seem to write anything all week. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. During the last bit I was having a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do because my writer brain was telling me to leave it unresolved and my fangirl brain was telling me to let them have one last night together._

 _So if you enjoyed this chapter please let me know by following, favoriting, and/or reviewing. Also feel free to follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver. Also please asked for a follow back I love meeting new people._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	11. Scotland

The next day the sun shone brightly into the window of Remus' bedroom. He decided that it would be best to leave for Scotland without speaking to anyone in the house. He had said all he needed to say to everyone. He knew he was headed to a very dangerous place having to live amongst the werewolves. The looming prospect of heading off to Scotland to live with the werewolves was weighing on him heavily that morning. He was suddenly very aware of what may happen to him if anyone recognized him as Remus Lupin.

He walked quietly down to the basement kitchen to grab a cup of tea and a quick bite to eat before he left to his new accommodations in Scotland. Dumbledore had arranged for him to be living on the outskirts of a small village in Northern Scotland. It was a small one room cottage though there was quite a bit of lawn around it. If he was going to be forced to spend time with others like him at least when he was able to spend time alone he would be able to be in the fresh Scottish air.

He wondered around the house for a few moments drinking his tea. It was strange until this moment Number 12 Grimmauld Place hadn't really felt like a home to him. But now as he was being forced to leave it, it was as though he were leaving his childhood home all over again. Almost like when he left for Hogwarts when he was eleven years old.

Without a word to anyone Remus Apparated to the Northern Scottish village where he was to live until Dumbledore felt comfortable enough to bring him back. He hadn't packed many of his belongings. He had one small trunk with him as he entered his small one room cottage. It was completely empty aside from him and his trunk standing in the front door way.

The following day Remus exited his home to find a known werewolf by the name of Troy Umfraville. It was known that Umfraville was in league with Greyback and he was Remus' way into the pack. Umfraville wasn't high in the ranks of the pack, but he had enough authority that he could slide Remus in without much notice or many questions. It was the easiest way to go about getting information from the werewolves. And perhaps swaying them to see what Dumbledore was speaking of when he told them it would be better for them. That he would ensure there were actions taken to make it easier for the werewolves to live amongst average wizards and have access to Wolfsbane without having to know a potions master willing to sneak it to them.

Remus knew that Umfraville spent most of his time at the village pub. It was a small and dusty room near the edge of the village. The pub was basically empty besides an older looking man sitting in the corner passed out with his beer tipped over on the table. Remus felt sorry for the man, but then thought about how Tonks would have went to clean up the mess and prop his head up. Then Remus saw the bartender. He had a very familiar scar across his face signaling to Remus that this was the man he was looking for.

Remus slowly walked over to the end of the bar and sat down. He wasn't eager to speak to this man. He wasn't well groomed and looked as though he hadn't eaten in many days. His fingernails were overly long and covered in dirt and grime. They looked sharp as if they could puncture someone's soft skin. Umfraville had long shaggy hair that hung past his shoulders. It was just as greasy as Snape's, if not more so. There was dirt covering his face making the scar across his face obscure, but still visible to someone who's looking for it.

Umfraville finished drying the beer stein he had in his hands, filled it, and slid it over to Remus. Remus looked very weary of drinking the, what he realized now was, butterbeer. It could easily be laced with some sort of poison or potion. Umfraville had no reason to trust a complete stranger walking into the pub. Remus looked at the passed out drunk in the corner and saw a wand sticking out of his pocket. It was a wizarding pub. Or at least it catered to the wizarding world. Which helped Remus. He could speak a little more freely within these walls that he had expected to be able to.

Remus had sat there for almost an hour slowly milking his butterbeer. He didn't know exactly what to say to this man, but knew he couldn't leave until he was on speaking terms with him.

Umfraville came over to Remus as he sat there and placed his hands on the bar. "What are you doing here," he asked in a low growl.

Remus looked up from his beer stein and saw the man standing before him. He looked frightening. As if he was getting ready to attack Remus for simply sitting in the pub. "Just fancied a butterbeer, mate," Remus responded.

There was a long silence between the two of them. Remus felt Umfraville's eyes burning into him. Remus looked to the bar and saw Umfraville's nails digging into the already strained wood. There was a faint scratching sound ringing through Remus' ears. If he didn't say something soon he may be attacked by this man.

"Why are you here," Umfraville asked again.

Remus decided that it was time to tell the man why he was there. "Heard there were my kind in these parts," he said hoping it was convincing.

Umfraville stared at Remus for a few moments longer because moving. His hands didn't loosen their grip on the bar where he was leaving deep scratches. He was ready to attack. Remus glanced to the right and saw his wand securely fastened to his belt. It was as though Umfraville didn't believe that Remus was a werewolf. Even with the giant scar across his face.

"Who sent you," Umfraville growled.

Remus looked up and into the dead black eyes of Troy Umfraville. There was nothing there but darkness. It was like looking into a twenty feet deep black pit. He couldn't read this man. His body wasn't moving or showing any signs of what he may be thinking. By this Remus knew that Umfraville was associating himself with Fenrir Greyback. Knowing this put a pull in Remus' stomach. He hadn't come face to face with Greyback since he was a child. Since Greyback had attacked him and turned him into a werewolf. Greyback targeted children because they couldn't defend themselves. And Remus' parents hadn't been around right at that moment to offer any sort of assistance to their young son.

Remus didn't speak for several moments. He wanted to have an ounce of control in this situation. He also knew that trying infiltrate the werewolves was very life threatening on his part. If he said once wrong thing they could figure him out and that put the entire Order at risk. And Tonks' smiling face flashed in his mind. Somehow she told him exactly what to say with her smile.

"Not a soul," he finally replied. "But one of your own wasn't keeping quiet down in London. Overheard him saying something about Greyback around here. Might want to keep a better eye on those you let wonder. Wouldn't want a band of Dumbledore's wizards raiding the village would you?"

This seemed to be an acceptable answer to Umfraville. He stopped leaning on the bar. He had left great scratches in the wood from his nails. After going back to cleaning the beer steins and wiping down the counter.

"Why did you decide to leave cushy London," Umfraville asked him. "Why come up here were we all live amongst the trees and not be able to socialize?"

"Our kind don't normally socialize," Remus retorted. "Once people find out what we are we're exiled, are we not? Why not live amongst others who are like you in more than one way?"

Umfraville stopped again. "What other ways are we alike?"

Remus felt that pull in his stomach again. Pictured Tonks again. "I grew up a wizard, but I believe in the Dark Lord just as Greyback does. And I assume…you," he replied.

An unfriendly smirk spread across Umfraville's filthy face. "Are you asking to see Greyback?"

Remus felt a lump come into his throat. He'd gone through so much in his life, but he wasn't sure he could come, willingly, face to face with the monster that changed his, Remus, life for the worst when he was merely four years-old.

"Not at all. I'm sure he's far too busy to bother with me," Remus said earning a small nod from Umfraville. "Just would like updates on how the Dark Lord is doing. Anything that I may be able to help with."

Remus could tell that Umfraville was questioning his true identity again. "What'd you say your name was again?"

Remus stopped for a short moment before speaking again. Dumbledore had prepared him for this. "John Thicknesse," he confidently responded.

Days passed and Remus hadn't heard from Umfraville. He hadn't started to worry just yet. The full moon was fast approaching. Remus could feel it within him. It had been many months since Remus had to feel the full effects of a transformation and it was making him weak. He was getting sick with the moon approaching. Each night he'd look up towards the sky and see the moon slowly getting fuller.

The day before the moon would rise in its entirety Remus saw a snowy owl flying towards his small cottage. He quickly opened the window to let the bird in. He noticed immediately that it was Hedwig. She had a rather large letter tied to her leg. And she was itching to have it taken off of her. Remus did so and gave the bird something to eat and drink before she took off and found herself a corner to nap in before she made her return flight back to Hogsmeade.

Remus had assumed that the letter was from Harry because Hedwig was sent, but upon opening the letter he noticed it wasn't the handwriting of Harry Potter. It was the handwriting of Nymphadora Tonks.

 _Dearest Remus,_

 _I know I shouldn't be writing you, but I wanted to let you know that I have relocated to Hogsmeade and as you have undoubtedly noticed I have spoken with Harry. I saw him the night he got to the castle. He said he would come visit during the Hogsmeade visits. I think it will be nice to be able to see the three of them. It's a little strange being here again. I haven't needed to come back to Hogsmeade or Hogwarts since I left the school. Walking back into the castle was very nostalgic. Even worse was walking back into Dumbledore's office. I had been sent there once or twice during my time at Hogwarts. You know I could never quite behave myself. Always getting myself and others into trouble._

 _I sent the letter now because I'm still following the lunar charts you have at Grimmauld Place. I nicked them without Sirius' knowledge. Hope you don't mind. I noticed that it was the few days before your transformation and that you would be feeling ill. I wanted to send you something to maybe take your mind off of it. At least for a few moments. I know you haven't got your potion and I wish that you didn't have to go through this without it. But I also know that using Wolfsbane where you are would basically be killing you. Alerting the others to who you may be. I do hope you're staying safe and that you receive this letter._

 _Mad-Eye and Dumbledore are both waiting, very impatiently I might add, for your reports. Said you haven't sent them news as of yet. It hasn't been that long I believe. You are just now making it to the first full moon of your time there. And you may be there for many more. They had even asked me if I had heard anything from you. Of course I haven't. You're to be keeping quiet whilst you're there. Good thing as well. I don't want anything to happen to you. There is very little news with the Order. We haven't gotten a scrap of new information since you left. Mad-Eye is very put out about it._

 _I should go. This letter is getting rather long and I don't want it to be a burden on Hedwig. Write back if you are able, but only if you're sure you won't be seen. Take good care of yourself, Remus. Be safe in the coming days. I look forward to seeing you soon._

 _With love,_

 _Tonks_

Remus placed the letter on his table and lowered his head into his hands. Seeing her name and reading her words rattled him. Made him second think his mission for a very brief moment. He then remembered why he had agreed to this assignment. It was to protect her. To make sure Tonks had a life to live. His wasn't worth much, but hers was worth more than he could articulate.

Hours later Remus heard a knock at the door. He took out his wand and slowly approached the door. He saw that it was Umfraville standing at his door. He opened it slowly hoping that he hadn't been found out. That Umfraville hadn't seen Hedwig fly into his cottage.

"Thicknesse," Umfraville called.

Remus opened the door. "Umfraville," he said. "What is it?" Umfraville was looking just a ragged as he, Remus, was.

Remus could tell that Umfraville didn't have anything to say to him. He simply wanted to know that Remus had been telling the truth. That he was truly a werewolf. And by seeing him in the same state as he, Umfraville, it was confirmed for him. Remus looked very sickly.

"Just stopped by," Umfraville told him. Rather unconvincingly Remus thought to himself. "Thought I saw something fly into your house."

Remus moved so he could not see within his home. Hedwig was a snow white owl. Easily seen to most people. She's not indigenous to Northern Scotland. She must have been seen by Umfraville, but he didn't seem to know what it was that flew into Remus' cottage.

"Would you like a cup of tea," Remus asked the weak looking man.

Umfraville was taken aback by the offer. He had no inclination that Remus would be willing to allow him into his, Remus', home. He tried to look inside of the cottage, but Remus was still blocking the view. Remus had no idea what he would do if Umfraville had taken his invitation to come in for a cup of tea. Hedwig was still napping in the corner. Tonks' letter was sitting on the table. He couldn't let anyone see that letter. There was too much information written in it. Remus was astounded that no one had intercepted the owl and read the letter. It would have brought down the entirety of The Order's work. Tonks knew that. She must have gotten special permission to send it to him. She wouldn't have risked it without knowing there were people that approved of her sending it.

Remus looked back at Umfraville's black eyes. This day there was something in them. It must have been the weakening of the man. The wolf crawling to the surface. It was something similar to fear, within his eyes. Something that Umfraville probably didn't realize was there. Something he must have been living with since he had been infected however long ago that was.

"Don't think I will," Umfraville responded. "Must be getting back to the pub."

Umfraville left abruptly leaving Remus standing in his doorway. He quickly reentered his home and folded the letter. He looked around looking for someplace to store it. He didn't want to lose it. He couldn't bin it before he saw her again. It was all he had to make sure he kept going. To ensure his safety. Her love.

Remus so badly wanted to write back to her. To tell her that he was alive and doing alright, but he didn't want to risk it by sending Hedwig. But he had no other way of contacting her. However; he would not risk her safety if Hedwig was intercepted. He couldn't do it. He decided that once Hedwig woke he would send her back to Hogwarts without a reply to Tonks. Though it was cutting him deeply knowing she may be expecting a reply from him.

The sky grew dark and the moon rose high in the sky. Remus had walked into the forest behind his cottage as to not be near his temporary home when he transformed. He looked up to the sky and saw the full moon shining every so brightly. Not knowing what it was doing to men and women down below. His body began to shake as he felt the wolf within him take over. His mind went blank and turned animal like. Nothing but basic instincts fled through his thoughts.

The next thing Remus was aware of was lying on the forest floor waking up as if from a deep sleep. He stood and found his way back to his cottage. As he was walking through the forest he saw a body lying on the ground not a hundred feet from him. He stopped knowing it was another werewolf lying there. Waking up from a more than difficult night. Remus hid himself behind a tree as he was not armed with his wand. As he peered around the tree he saw Umfraville weakly standing. Remus did not want his presence known at this moment. However, he would alert the other man to a presence if he Disapparated right then. Umfraville would surely hear the loud cracking of a Disapparation nearby.

Finally Remus heard a loud crack signaling someone's Apparation into the vicinity. Then he saw the person that Apparated. Fenrir Greyback.

* * *

 _A/N: I AM SO AMAZINGLY SORRY FOR HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO UPDATE THIS FIC! I was going through some stuff and then I graduated from acting school so all of that started to stress me out. But I finally like what I have written. If you follow my Tumblr and Instagram you know I had written so much of this chapter then decided that I absolutely hated every word and restarted. I couldn't find my footing for while with the new direction I had decided to take. Then suddenly it all clicked perfectly._

 _Thank you so much for staying with me on this one. I'm gonna write a few chapters that take place during_ Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. _It will go back and forth between Remus and Tonks. I was gonna write more with this chapter, but I love ending with Remus seeing Greyback again._

 _So I hope you enjoyed this chapter and my apologies again for taking so bloody long to post it. If you like it I hope you follow, favorite, and review this fic and chapter. And if you'd like you are more than welcome to follow my social media Twitter: /QueerAsColiver, Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	12. Hogsmeade

Shortly after Remus had departed from London to live in Scotland; Tonks had relocated to Hogsmeade. She had been given a small cottage perfectly between the village and the castle. So she could keep an eye on both areas while she was there. She was eager to be back near Hogwarts. She hadn't needed to come back to the castle since she had left. And now she was back to ensure the safety of the castle and every single student living there.

Walking around the village was a nice way to reminisce without thinking about Remus. She would remember the trouble she and Emmeline Robins, her best friend in school, got into at Zonko's Joke Shop. They would always buy something then head off to Honeydukes. Tonks always bought several Chocolate Frogs and would let them lose around the school. There was once Professor Sprout had caught her and gave her detention in her third year.

As Tonks walked through the village all of her school memories came back to her. How she'd had tea with Ritchie Robnott, her first boyfriend, at Madam Puttifoot's Tea Shop. She had her first kiss with him in front of the building. Ritchie had accidentally pulled her hair and broke the kiss. Leaving them both laughing in the snow until they were called back to the castle.

As she stood outside of Madam Puttifoot's Tea Shop remembering Ritchie Robnott stepping on her toes and pulling her hair she smiled. It was nice remembering times that didn't bring her sorrow. Lately all of her thoughts revolved around Remus. Kissing Remus and holding Remus. Ritchie Robnott was a tall boy with shaggy brunette hair, not unlike Remus'. Though he didn't kiss like Remus. Of course the last time she kissed Ritchie they were fifteen.

Tonks continued walking through the village looking at all of the shops. She was always breaking things because she was so clumsy so she had spent much time at Dervish and Banges, a magical repair shop. As she walked by the worker inside gave her a familiar smile and wave. She kindly waved back at him and continued walking.

Tonks looked down at her watch and saw that she had an hour before she needed to be in Dumbledore's office for a meeting before the students arrived at the Hogsmeade station that night. She decided to head back to her cottage and unpack a few of her belongings before she headed up to the castle. With a wave of her wand things began to fly from her trunks and placed themselves untidily on the shelves and in the closet. Her mother had always been able to make everything obey her and be very neat when finished. She had never quite mastered that trick. And she didn't think she really needed to.

After her things were put away she grabbed her cloak and headed up to the castle. She so loved this walk. It was so beautiful to walk to and from the village from Hogwarts. Especially after snowfall. The way the snow always shined in the sunlight as she would walk towards the village. Or the reflection from the moon on her way back to Hogwarts. For a brief moment she wanted to be a student again. To have no responsibilities besides Potions and Herbology. Making sure Snape didn't catch her doing something wrong and give a detention in the dungeons. It was no secret that Snape favored the Slytherins and often came after the other houses. And Tonks' way of getting into trouble cost a few House Points now and then because of her messing around in Potions class.

The large oak doors of the castle stood many feet above her head and she thought back to the first time she walked through those doors. It had been a very clear night to row across the lake. Her mother and father had told her many stories of the school, but nothing could prepare her for what had awaited her inside the castle. Walking into the Great Hall and waiting to be sorted.

She recalled many students whispering about not wanting to be sorted into Slytherin House. She hadn't share that concern. Though she knew many witches and wizard who had gone bad had been in Slytherin, but so was her mother. Andromeda Tonks was a Slytherin that married a Muggle-born wizard. She knew that not all witches and wizards in Slytherin House were bad. They weren't evil. They were highly misunderstood. But then she had started to think about what people would say about her if she was in Slytherin. A metamorphmagus that was placed in Slytherin. There were sure to be many rumors and students speaking behind her back. So when she was sorted into Hufflepuff House she was slightly relieved. And her parents had been very proud of her.

Finally Tonks was standing before the great gargoyle that was the opening to Dumbledore's office. "Charm Choc," she said as Dumbledore had given her the password before she had relocated.

"Nymphadora," Dumbledore said as he watched her walk into his office. Tonks silently scolded him for using her full name. "Good to see you," he said offering her a cup of tea and motioning for her to sit before him.

"Sir," she started. "Have you heard from Remus," she asked very quickly. She needed to know that he got to where he was needed safely.

Dumbledore flashed his light blue eyes at her over his half-moon glasses and smiled slightly. He could tell by the look on her face that the young witch sitting there with him was so in love with the werewolf. That she was desperate to have even a little bit of information of him. Dumbledore had known Tonks all through her years at Hogwarts and she was constantly changing her appearance. But he had never seen her like this. Her mousey brown hair and the circles beneath her eyes. Normally she would get rid of the bags and fashioned herself a bright pink head of hair.

"How are you," he asked not answering her question.

"Sir," she started again, "with all due respect I would like information on Remus. Please, sir. Anything you have."

The old man smiled and winked at her. "Remus is fine," he told her. He saw her breathe a sigh of relief. "He is in a small village not so far north of here. He's made contact with the werewolf we were searching for. He's eating well and staying safe. Just as you asked of him."

Tonks smiled at him. She knew that he knew her true feelings. Dumbledore had to have known that she and Remus had spent much time together, but neither of them had told many people how they truly felt about each other. However; Dumbledore always knew. He could figure it out with one look. And Tonks' outburst before Remus had left had to have given everything away.

"Thank you, sir," Tonks said with a half-smile on her face. "Dumbledore, I must apologize for the way I acted at 12 Grimmauld Place."

"Nymphadora," he started, "I know you and Remus Lupin share deep feelings for each other. I have known for longer than you believe. But, dear, I need you trust that he is wise enough to keep himself—"

"I know he is, sir, but—"

Dumbledore raised his hand to stop her from finishing her sentence. "Himself safe. Remus has spent most of his life with his condition. He's found himself in the most deadly of problems. And he's still alive. And you must know that I will do whatever is in my power to keep Remus alive. I see how he feels for you and how being apart has affected you. He will stay with us."

"Sir, if there is any way of contacting him," Tonks told him.

"I am in contact with, Remus," Dumbledore said. "If there is a message you would like me to relay?"

"No, no," she said changing her mind. After a few more moments of silence Tonks spoke again. "But would it be at all possible for me to send an owl to him? Not right away, but occasionally?"

Dumbledore didn't speak after this. He stood and started pacing around his office. "If the situation allows it. He is not extremely far and it would not take an owl long to reach him. If you feel as though you must send him a letter come to me and I will make sure it is safe for Remus to receive one."

Hearing this put a large smile on the young witch's face. Knowing she may have some contact with Remus eventually. Knowing that as of now he was completely safe. It was what may happen that made her fear for him. But she had a job to do and she must not forget that. The students would be at the castle soon and she would need to be down near the Hogsmeade station to ensure Harry got safely to the school.

Dumbledore quickly told her exactly what she would need to do while she was located at Hogsmeade. She was required to make weekly meetings with Dumbledore and tell him anything strange that may be happening in the village. And to report anything that may be dangerous to the students immediately. Also every other night Tonks would be making the trip up to the castle to search the group with the other teachers.

After the meeting Tonks quickly walked to the Hogsmeade station. As she got there to keep an eye on the students and Harry as they were sent up to the castle. When Harry didn't appear as the students walked off the train she went in search for him. She walked him to the castle gates and sent her patronas to signal that she had Harry with her. She left Harry with Professor Snape and walked back to her cottage.

As she walked back she thought about her Patronas. She hadn't had to use it since the breakup with Remus and was shocked with its changed shape. Since she had learned to conjure a patronas it had been a jack rabbit. She could see the silver wolf flying into the air from her wand and thought only of Remus. She knew that she loved him and wanted to be with him, but hadn't realized how much it had all affected her. She now knew that it was her feelings for Remus and her broken heart that had taken away her morphing abilities. That moment she screwed up her face and attempted to change her hair. It didn't work.

Tonks walked back into her cottage and collapsed into her chair. She had to find some way to get her morphing abilities back. That was one thing that she used to keep herself safe with death eaters walking around. No one knew exactly what she looked like. And now her patronas had changed. It was all so much. She wanted to be with him again.

Over the first few weeks of the school year nothing had happened. Tonks was settling into her new life living in Hogsmeade. Then she got word of the students' first Hogsmeade visit. She was hoping that Harry, Ron, and Hermione would be coming down to the village so she was able to see them. Familiar faces would be very nice for her.

Two weeks later the Hogwarts students were now flooding the streets of Hogsmeade. Zonko's was completely filled, as was Honeydukes. Children were coupling outside of Madam Puttifoot's Tea Shop. Students were running to and from the Shrieking Shack. As they passed she heard many talking and giving their own theories on why the house was haunted. Tonks chuckled with each new theory as she knew that it had been Remus making the howling noises many years ago and now there was nothing there.

Tonks entered The Three Broomsticks and smiled casually at Hagrid sitting near the bar. Then she saw the three she had been searching for sitting in the back near the wall. She walked over to them and sat down. She was greeted warmly by the three students. Hermione gave her a warm hug knowing that something was wrong with her.

"Have you seen anything," Harry quickly asked her once she had sat down.

"It's all been very quiet, Harry," she replied. "Nothing out of the ordinary. I come up to the castle every other day to ensure your safety. Yours and the other students. Even though not all of them know the extent of what is actually happening."

"I still think Malfoy is up to something," Harry said looking out the window and seeing Malfoy with his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.

"Harry," Hermione snapped. "He's not a death eater."

"Tonks," Harry said quickly, "is it at all possible that Voldemort," Ron winced at the name while Tonks quieted him, "has entrusted Malfoy with something big? His father was in high ranks with the death eaters and now Draco has replaced him. Malfoy is still at Hogwarts which gives him an inside look, right?"

Tonks thought for a brief moment. "There is a small possibility, but if Dumbledore isn't concerned then there is no reason for you to be," she told him. "I speak to Dumbledore very often and he has mentioned nothing of Draco Malfoy. Harry, don't go getting too obsessed with this. Focus on your lessons. Do well. We need you to do well in class."

After a while more of talking and even a few laughs the students were to all start back towards the castle. Tonks walked with them to the edge of the village where her cottage sat. She pulled Harry aside and he ushered his friends to go on without him.

"Harry," she started. "I was wondering if I would be able to borrow Hedwig?"

"Where are you sending her?"

Tonks took a deep breath. "To Remus," she said honestly. "Dumbledore said he's not far from here. I have to get permission to send a letter to him first. It's just…"

"It's completely fine with me, Tonks," he said. "When you're able just go to the owlry and find her. She's normally there if I haven't sent her somewhere."

Tonks smiled and gave Harry a quick hug before he left back to the castle.

That night she was to go to the castle to search the corridors for anything unusual. Though she had been doing this for some weeks and nothing had been found. She walked up to the castle and entered as quietly as she could. Professor McGonagall was waiting for her at the top of the marble staircase in the entry way. The women went on to search the first three floors of the castle. McGonagall was just as tired of searching the empty school as Tonks was.

After finding nothing during the search the teachers and Tonks met back in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore announced to them that they were able to head back to their sleeping accommodations for the night. Tonks took to the rear of the group as they all exited Dumbledore's office.

"You wish to speak to me," Dumbledore said after the Hogwarts teachers had left his office. Tonks turned quickly and smiled. She knew that Dumbledore had his ways of knowing what others may be thinking.

"Yes, sir," she said and walked over to his desk. "I was wondering if it would be possible to send an owl to Remus?"

Without saying anything Dumbledore conjured his patronas and sent it out the window. She assumed it was to see if it would be safe for Tonks to send Remus a letter. Within minutes the silver phoenix came back through the window nodding its head slightly.

"You may send an owl, but do it soon," Dumbledore told her. "We do not want to alert people to his presence. We can't allow someone to find out who he is. I think I shall retire. There are quills and parchment on my desk that I simply cannot be bothered to put away tonight," he said winking at the young witch standing there with a stupid grin on her face.

Once Dumbledore had left his office Tonks raced to his desk and quickly wrote her letter to Remus. She didn't put a ton of information in it just in case it was intercepted. She tried to be brief, but found herself rambling on while writing. She had so much she wanted to tell him. She debated for a few moments before writing ' _With love, Tonks,'_ at the bottom of the letter. She didn't know if he would appreciate her writing 'love' in the letter. But she needed him to know that he was still constantly in her mind. She was ever so concerned for his safety. And she knew she could tell him everything she was thinking with that one word.

After she folded the parchment she raced to the owlry and enjoyed it greatly when she raced passed Filch and saw how angry he was that someone was roaming the castle at this hour. But he couldn't do anything about it as she was no longer a student. She had tripped several times on her way to the owlry. Once she stumbled into a suit of armor standing in the corridor.

Once she got to the owlry she found Hedwig swooping in from hunting that night. Tonks was lucky the bird knew her as she quickly walked over to the snowy owl and attached the letter to her scaly leg. "Hedwig, I need you to take this to Remus Lupin please. And stay very safe while you do so. Harry would never forgive me if something were to happen to you."

Hedwig playfully nipped at Tonks' hand and spread her wings to fly off into the night. Tonks stood for a moment staring at the white bird flying away from the castle. The woman was very glad that she was able to send off a letter to Remus that night. For the first time she was able to walk back to her tiny cottage in Hogsmeade without his condition weighing on her mind.

Tonks waited the entire next three days for an answer from Remus and didn't get one. After patrol on the fifth night she snuck up to the owlry and saw that Hedwig was back at the school. Remus had chosen not to send her a letter back. It felt just as it did when Remus told her they couldn't do it anymore. She quickly turned and ran back to her home before locking the door and falling to the floor in sobs.

Why? Why did one man's actions make her feel so bad? She hadn't known him long, but she loved him so much that it hurt every time he did something that had a negative effect. She figured he didn't realize what he was doing while he was doing it. As she lay on her couch clutching a pillow and crying she remembered how he said he was trying to keep her safe. It may not have been safe to send Hedwig back. She very noticeable and if he was in such a small village it could be very dangerous to send her back. Especially with a letter to an Order member.

Tonks tried very hard to convince herself that it would have been far too dangerous to send something back. She fell asleep on the couch picturing Remus' face smiling at her.

* * *

 _A/N: So I felt bad that it took so long for the previous chapter that I wrote another one within the week. Plus, I'm unemployed and besides a job search I have basically nothing to do. I hope you enjoyed Tonks' chapter. I think there will be three more that take place be Dumbledore's funeral. Then we're finally at the part where they're together and I can be happy again._

 _If you liked this chapter please follow, favorite, and review. Remember to follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver. And always ask for a follow back if you want one._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	13. Cut-Off

Remus stood completely still behind the tree as he watched Greyback speaking to Umfraville. It didn't looked like Umfraville had told him anything about Remus being in the area. Greyback looked rather calm as he spoke. Remus wanted to Disapparate back to his cottage and send an urgent message to Dumbledore noting that he had had eyes on Greyback. However; he would definitely alert the other two standing there with the loud crack he would make.

"Who is this man," he heard Greyback said in a relaxed tone. "Where did he come from?"

Umfraville didn't seem bothered by Greyback asking questions. He looked a little uncomfortable standing so close to Greyback though. It looked as if Umfraville had never been in this close proximity to Greyback before. Remus started to wonder if Umfraville had the power they all thought he had. Perhaps Umfraville had done something in the recent past that had angered Greyback. Remus couldn't do anything but wonder as he stood there listening to this conversation unfold.

"Said he's from London," Umfraville told him. "Got here just after the last cycle. Walked right into me pub."

Greyback started pacing. Suddenly he looked much more frightening than he did before. His eyes narrowed and his hands moved in a way that made Remus believe he was still sporting his wolf claws on his human hands. His eyes were locked on something far in the distance. Remus couldn't see what the werewolf was looking at. Greyback stood for several moments before turning back to Umfraville to speak again.

"Keep a close eye on this man," Greyback told him. "I have never heard of a Thicknesse. Said he's from London?"

"Yes, sir," Umfraville said taking a small step away from the angry werewolf. "He looked a bit ragged. Robes were torn and very large."

Remus moved to get a little closer to the two men talking. He wanted to make sure he got every word of the conversation. He attempted to walk as slowly and quietly as he possibly could. He had walked several feet closer without being seen or heard. He could now see what Greyback's face actually looked like. The years of being a werewolf had taken its toll on the older wolf. He looked decades older than Remus and his face was covered in hair. It looked almost like fur as Remus looked over the man's appearance.

The wind suddenly picked up blowing down leaves into Remus' face. Greyback began to look around as if to see who was coming. He was waiting for someone. Finally Remus saw exactly who they had been waiting for. Helena Grunnion. Helena was a known death eater. She had gotten away when Voldemort first came to power. The Order figured that she went into hiding the past fifteen years. No one had heard from her. Not even her family.

Helena Grunnion was a half-blood. She reportedly killed her own muggle mother back when Voldemort was rose to power. Remus had never came face to face with her, but Mad-Eye had shown them all photos of death eaters that were sent to Azkaban, made a deal with the Ministry, or went into hiding. It was unsettling standing mere feet away from members of Voldemort's army. Remus had come up against many death eaters since leaving Hogwarts, but as he stood there he remembered his orders. Not to engage with anyone in a way that would reveal his identity.

"You have a location for The Order," Greyback asked Helena.

"Word has it one is nearby," Helena responded.

"Name," Greyback snapped. "If we take this one out the Dark Lord will look upon us more as equals. He will give us the life that we require."

Remus knew that he may have been caught. Someone may have seen something. If someone had gotten into his cottage and seen the letter from Tonks. The letter he knew he should have put into the fire, but couldn't part with. And now if he was caught it may be the last thing that he had from her. He had to leave the forest. He needed to get back to his cottage and to The Order. Report to Mad-Eye that he may have been found out.

But Remus couldn't leave his location. If he were he would be caught. If Helena knew anything about the Order member she was talking about he could be killed right there. And he had never written a word back to Tonks. As he stood there without anywhere to go without risk of being discovered he thought about her bright pink hair and violet eyes. Her smile as she cuddled into his arms while he read _Anna Karenina_ to her. The way she didn't quickly move to stand back up after tripping over her own feet and into his arms. He loved her and was regretting not writing her back.

"Go," Greyback said to Helena. "Get all of the information that you are able. Report back to Umfraville so he can keep his eyes open." Helena quickly left leaving Greyback speaking to Umfraville alone. "Keep your eyes on Thicknesse. I don't believe he should be trusted. Never heard of him. Don't give him any information."

With that Greyback left the forest with a great whoosh. Umfraville looked around for a moment before he disapparated.

Remus let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding in. He stepped out from behind the tree and looked around making sure he was finally alone. He quickly Disapparated back to his cottage and found the letter from Tonks. He read through it several more times before deciding he needed to keep himself safe and Tonks. He pointed his wand towards the fire igniting a large flame. Remus looked over the letter once more before placing it gently into the fireplace.

Watching Tonks' curly handwriting crumple up was cutting him so deep that he could barely stand there.

Later that day Remus reported back to Mad-Eye at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. He entered the basement kitchen and saw the entire Order sitting there. Or at least the members with some sort of pull within the society.

"What do you have," Mad-Eye asked immediately.

"I may have been discovered," Remus replied. "All they know is someone in The Order is near. If I'm not careful I could be discovered."

Remus heard a high pitch gasp from behind him. He turned and saw Tonks standing there with her hand over her mouth. Clearly holding back tears. Tonks turned and ran from the room.

Remus made to go after her, but Molly stepped in front of him. "Stay here," she said pushing him back into the room. "I'll take care of her."

Remus obeyed and sat down at the table. He told Mad-Eye everything. Though there wasn't much to tell besides Helena coming and informing Greyback that there was and Order member near that area of Scotland. He sat while others gave their intel from their assignments. Arthur and Kingsley were certain that Voldemort had gotten into the Ministry. And into high positions in the Ministry as well. With every day The Order was getting more and more nervous about what was coming. They all knew that there was going to a war and the death toll would be much worse than the first time.

Molly walked back into the kitchen and gave Remus a knowing nod. All the man wanted to do now was break away from this meeting and go see Tonks. But he knew his obligation. He knew that if he left now he would be in a massive amount of trouble with Mad-Eye. He wasn't in the mood for one of Mad-Eye's lectures about being constantly vigilant.

After another hour sitting around the table as Order members said exactly what was happening with their individual posts. Mad-Eye wanted to a recount from Tonks, who still had not made another appearance. Remus quickly volunteered to go and fetch her.

He walked into the parlor and saw her curled up on the sofa covered up in the same blanket that they curled up in after their first date. She was reading. Not usually something Remus walked into.

"What are you reading," Remus asked slowly closing the door behind him.

"One of those dreadful books you always read," she said closing it and setting it on the coffee table. "Is it true?"

"Nothing happened," Remus said sitting down next to her. "They think someone is there. They don't know it's me."

Tonks didn't hesitate to curl into Remus' side and hold him tight. Remus let her. "How do they know it's you?"

"They don't," Remus reminded her. "They believe someone is around. It looks bad because I'm new in that area. I just have to keep low. I will be fine."

They were both quiet for a long while. Tonks closed her eyes and let herself get lost within Remus' touch. She completely forgot about the world around them.

"You never wrote back," she said. "I was worried. And now I know I should be."

Remus chuckled and pulled her closer. "I kept that letter. I read that letter many times. I wanted to write back, but—"

"You didn't want to risk it," Tonks finished for him. "I know." They sat in silence again.

"I am staying as safe as possible," Remus told her. "We must get back to the meeting. Mad-Eye is looking to hear from you. He wants to know what exactly had been going on in Hogsmeade."

Tonks reluctantly agreed to go down to the kitchen for the meeting. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to be doing. She would have actually preferred to be back in her cottage in Hogsmeade. Where she wasn't dealing with the heartache of Remus or the brutality of Mad-Eye. Molly's constant checking in. She loved all of these people, but at this point in her life it was just better if they weren't always right there.

Tonks recounted what had been happening in Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. It was nothing more than what Dumbledore has informed him of. Tonks did offer up the fact that Harry was absolutely sure Draco Malfoy was a Death Eater. Mad-Eye didn't negate the idea, but he was fairly skeptical. As everyone knew if Dumbledore didn't see a threat than there wasn't one there to bother with.

The meeting ended and everyone went their separate ways. Mad-Eye had pulled Remus aside before he left.

"What may have given you away," he asked Remus.

Remus didn't want to get Tonks in trouble, but also knew that the only way she would have sent him an owl was with Dumbledore's permission. "I don't know. I have been very careful. I had received an owl two weeks ago, but no one could have seen who that letter was from."

"Who was it from," Mad-Eye growled.

Remus didn't say anything for a moment. "Tonks," he said rather quietly.

"TONKS," Mad-Eye shouted before he limped off fast his wooden leg clunking the creaky wood flooring of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. "Tonks," he growled again as he barged into the parlor where Tonks and Molly were talking. "You sent a letter to Remus?"

Tonks jumped from the sofa and stared at Mad-Eye. Remus stood behind the older man watching Tonks' terrified face. If she had been able to morph all of the color would have been drained from her body. She couldn't move.

"Yes," she finally said with a shaky confidence. She saw that Mad-Eye was about to scold her for doing something that may have endangered Remus. "Before you berate me like a child; I spoke with Dumbledore before I sent it. He told me it was safe for me to send a letter. I sent it that night."

Mad-Eye's body stayed very rigid, but his tone softened as he continued to speak with Tonks. "Did you give him any information?"

Tonks thought for a moment. "Not that I recall," she said honestly. She looked over Mad-Eye's shoulder to Remus who shook his head. This told her that she was right. "I had mentioned that I was in Hogsmeade, but that shouldn't have endangered him."

Remus' eyes widened. She did mention Harry in the letter. She mentioned Mad-Eye, but there was no sign of tampering when it came to the letter. There had to have been another leak. Someone else must have seen him and known who he was. Remus could see the fear in her eyes. Not fear of Mad-Eye, she knew how to handle him, but fear Remus being found out was her fault.

"No more," Mad-Eye growled at the young witch. "It's too dangerous. Even if Dumbledore says it's safe. Clearly something went wrong." Mad-Eye turned to face Remus. "Do you still have the letter?"

Remus saw Tonks' face light up. She was clearly hoping that he still had it. It meant that he still truly cared for her. "No," he said honestly and bowing his head. Desperate to avoid Tonks' stare. "Burned it," he said this with such sadness. He could feel her eyes on him. He wasn't going to tell her the truth. It wouldn't make he feel any better. She was tired of his excuse. She wasn't going to listen to him anymore.

"Good," Mad-Eye said and pushed his way passed Remus.

Remus looked up and saw Molly comforting Tonks. Again, she looked more upset over Remus than Mad-Eye moaning at her. He quickly turned and exited the room. It was too hard to stand there and watch her. He couldn't talk to her. He told himself that he really needed to cut off contact with her. He needed to stop letting his emotions get in the way. If he had burned the letter in the first place this may not have happened. If he had been more direct when he left she wouldn't have sent him the letter in the first place. All of this was his fault. No matter what Mad-Eye thought. Remus quickly left Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

When Remus got back to his cottage he felt like he needed a large butterbeer or rather just a good ole pint, but he couldn't risk going back into the pub. Greyback had told Umfraville to keep an eye on him because he wasn't sure Thicknesse was an actual supporter of Voldemort. Remus was confined to his home. He actively had to keep his mind off of the girl he had left behind. Her sadden eyes that peered at him as he walked out of the room without a word. He knew that Tonks would be furious at him. Probably never want to speak to him again and that would be for the best.

Over the next several months Remus had found almost nothing. Greyback had come back only three times and Remus didn't dare get too near him. If he did he would be discovered. Greyback surely had known his face by now and it was far too dangerous.

Remus hadn't had any contact with Tonks since Mad-Eye found out about the letter. They had seen each other briefly at Order meetings, but informed the group of what they had discovered and then parted ways. He was back to living the way he had lived before he taught at Hogwarts. Lonely. He was in contact with Dumbledore, but it was completely business. Everything in his life was now about The Order. He hadn't even thought about Tonks in weeks. He didn't have the time. Dumbledore had him going to neighboring villages to get into contact with people there. Luckily Umfraville didn't believe Remus was a threat and wasn't reporting anything to Greyback about this supposed Thicknesse.

It was about a week after the full moon and Remus was sitting alone in his cottage, as he did most days. The sky had darkened with the night. Despite how the moon effected Remus he loved to look out at the stars and the moon when it wasn't in full. At first he thought it was a shooting star then he realized it was coming for him. It was a Patronas. It was a weasel flying directly towards him.

Arthur Weasley had sent is Patronas and not Dumbledore. Something had to have gone terribly wrong. No one was to contact Remus besides Dumbledore and Mad-Eye.

The silver weasel stopped on Remus' kitchen table. "Remus," he heard Arthur's voice come from the weasel. "There is trouble at Hogwarts. You're needed immediately."

Remus didn't think before he Disapparated to Hogsmeade. He got to the castle as fast as he could. The scene he saw was horrible. Teachers fighting against Death Eaters with students by their sides. As he rounded a corner he saw Greyback standing over Bill Weasley. He brought out his wand and entered the fight. He sent Death Eaters into walls with stunning spells. He grabbed Tonks' robes and pulled her out of the way of a killing curse.

Suddenly Remus saw Snape running through the entrance of Hogwarts with Draco Malfoy in tow. The Death Eaters quickly followed after him leaving The Order standing there watching. McGonagall came in rushing to The Order members and ushering students away from them.

As teachers and Order members hustled around the entrance of the school Molly Weasley found her son lying on the stone floor bleeding. Remus had followed her to ensure that she had someone there when she found her son. He didn't know the full extent of Bill's injuries and knew that Molly shouldn't be alone when she found her son. Her children meant more to her than her own life.

Molly rounded the corner and saw Bill lying there and fell into Remus' side. She clutched onto him while she sobbed for her son. A student came running around and Remus turned to them. "Go get Madam Pomphrey. Now," he shouted and the student turned to run to the hospital wing.

Madam Pomphrey came running into the corridor and quickly cast a spell that made Bill float to the hospital wing. Remus walked with Molly until they met up with Arthur. He handed Molly over to her husband and fell in step behind them. As they walked he saw Tonks in the corner of his eye. He looked down to avoid her gaze.

Tonks saw Bill bleeding and how Molly was crying into Arthur's shoulder as they walked down the corridor. She knew Remus wasn't looking at her on purpose. She had known what happened to Bill and also knew that Fleur would never cancel her wedding to him. They had loved each other more than anything. The same way she loved Remus. Tonks intended to speak to Remus as soon as they left the hospital wing. After this small battle there was no reason that they were not together.

Seeing Bill after an attack as this one she knew that if she didn't convince Remus now than they may never get the chance. They could both die before it's safe for either of them. Before the wizarding world wouldn't look down on Remus.

Tonks walked into the hospital behind everyone else and finally made eye contact with Remus. It was now or never.

* * *

 _A/N: SOOOO sorry about another delay. Been dealing with some personal stuff and didn't feel much like writing. And I wasn't sure I was liking this chapter, but I think I turned it around so I kind of like it. And I decided to skip the chapter focusing on Tonks because I want to get right into them getting together. So I don't have much more say. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I think with the fact that I'm writing them getting together FINALLY I'll write a little faster so I can see what happens._

 _If you enjoyed it please favorite, follow, and/or review the story. It would mean the world to me. Also be sure to follow me on social media Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver. Be sure to ask for a follow back if you so desire I would love a chance to talk to y'all._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	14. The Future

After everyone had left the hospital, leaving the Weasley's and Fleur to care for Bill. Remus exited quickly and Tonks ran to catch up to him. She pulled his robes and forced him into another corridor where they could speak privately.

"Tonks," Remus said breaking free from her grasp. "Now is not the time."

"Now is the only time," Tonks said grabbing his wrist making sure he didn't bail on her. She didn't know what she was going to say. She had spent months pleading with him and trying to convince him that being together was what was best for both of them. "You heard McGonagall. Dumbledore would want us to be happy. You have to stop thinking about—"

"Not here," Remus told her removing her hand from his wrist. "We can't talk about this here. It's not appropriate."

Remus turned and walked away leaving Tonks standing there staring at him as he left her again. All Tonks wanted to do was go home. Back to her cottage in Hogsmeade. She couldn't stand being in Hogwarts any longer. But as she walked out of the school she saw them bringing in Dumbledore's lifeless body. She moved quickly to her cottage. Leaving behind so much heartbreak.

It had been a few hours after the school had been cleared out and everyone had been sent home. Tonks was still wide awake staring at the fire she had lit. She had made herself a pot of tea, without magic. She couldn't get herself to use magic. It was rare that she didn't use magic to do even the smallest things. Actually it had never happened before. She had never felt so heartbroken and tired to not use magic.

Tonks had been resting her eyes and was almost asleep when she heard a loud knock at her door. She groaned as she stood to see who was calling on her at such a late hour. She took a quick look outside the window and saw Remus standing there. He was looking around very nervously. Another knock.

Tonks opened the door slightly. "What do you want, Remus," she asked not letting him into the house.

"Can I talk to you," Remus asked hoping she would let him into the small cottage. "This is very important."

The tone of his voice was so professional that Tonks thought it must have something to do with The Order. Remus walked around for several minutes before he settled standing in front of the fireplace.

"What is it, Remus," she asked him not moving from in front of the door. "I heard you," Tonks said. "I'm done. It's time to move on."

Remus stood there staring at this woman. This woman that he loved more than he could express. He had thought about a lot in the past few hours. About Fleur and Bill. How Bill would most likely have wolf-like characteristics and the slashes on his face. How Fleur was so upset when Molly implied she wouldn't want to marry Bill anymore. How she kept saying how much she loved Bill. It reminded him so much of the woman in front of him. How she was constantly telling him how she felt. That she didn't care. He still believed that she deserved someone young and whole. Someone who could give her what she deserved. But he couldn't get past his feelings for her. There had been weeks when all he wanted was to be back in that parlor reading with her curled into his side. He thought about the kisses they had shared before he had ended their brief relationship.

He continued to stand there looking at her. She looked angry. Like she wasn't pleased to see him. He took a step closer to her. She didn't move. Her arms were crossed and she was standing like a rock.

Finally Remus walked up to her. He was standing so close he could feel her breath. He reached out to take her hand, but she wouldn't budge. He did love how stubborn she was. It was one of the things that he loved most about her. She fought until she got what she wanted.

Tonks looked up at him briefly. He had a rather cheeky look in his eye. Before she could speak. Before she could walk away and tell him that he had missed his chance she felt his lips on hers. Her body relaxed into his immediately. His hands cupped her face pulling her close to him. Her hands found his waist and gripped tightly to his robes hoping this wasn't a dream.

After a minute Remus pulled away from her. Tonks held her grip on his robes not wanting to let him walk too far from her.

"Why," she asked in the low voice.

Remus smiled and took her hand. He pulled her over to the sofa and sat down. With only one tug of her arm she sat down next to him. He didn't look at her. He couldn't while he confessed why is was there.

"Dora," he said softly. "I know you are incredibly angry at me. I'm very shocked you allowed me into your home. When I left you in that corridor I believed you may never speak to me in a personal manner again. That was fine with me. As long as it kept you from me." He heard Tonks scoff and he chuckled at her. "But then I walked back past the hospital wing and saw Fleur combing Bill's hair with her fingers. I thought about how much she loves him and how we could be very close to the end.

I've been a fool, Dora. I…" his voice trailed off. He had thought the words he was going to say to her, but now, sitting there looking at her, he couldn't find them. His mind was sending so many mixed messages. To tell her he loved her and he wanted to be with her or to take everything back and walk out leaving her to hate him for the rest of her, hopefully long, life.

Tonks saw the struggle on his face and smiled. She knew that this conversation was going to go in a much different direction than the others they had. It may even end up with her getting everything that she wanted. She reached up and cupped his face with her hand. Making him look at her. "Why is this time different?"

Remus thought for a moment. Why was this time different? Would he eventually change his mind and walk away from her? But maybe once he had his life with her he would realize he couldn't just walk away. This time was different. He had been struck with mortality. And he was finally honest with himself. He had lived so much of his life with people leaving because of what he was. He assumed Tonks would do the same thing to him. Break his heart. And in that he broke hers. But for some reason she was still allowing him in her life. She was still loving him. He finally realized that she wasn't going anywhere. She was always going to be right there with him.

"I love you," he said. "It's not different. I always have, but something about today. If Dumbledore could easily be killed then so could we. We could be and it would be even easier for them to do. I guess I realized my own mortality today. Why spend, what could be a very short, rest of my life miserable and alone? When I could be spending it with you?"

Tonks didn't say anything at first. She didn't know what to say. He had told her exactly what she wanted to hear. Told her that he wanted to be with her and yet she wasn't falling into his arms.

"What happens when you are trying to be noble and keep me safe again," she asked him in a harsh tone.

"You smack me," he chuckled. "Keep my head in the right place. I know that it could be challenging for both of us. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around. I pity myself and hurt you on a regular basis," he admitted. "But I'm trying to get better about it. I want to. For you."

Tonks still wasn't completely convinced with his words. But it was her head that was throwing contradicting voices at her. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and never let go of him, but there was this voice saying it wouldn't last.

But she had been waiting over a year for this moment. For Remus to be ready. She stopped herself from overthinking this moment. Remus was right. They were both facing their own mortality and they needed to stop overthinking all of it. They needed to look at what was directly in front of them.

Remus smiled at her. A smile that she wasn't used to seeing. A smile that she loved more than anything. It meant that he wasn't thinking. It wasn't trying to convince himself to go back on what he had said. He was living right there. It made her smile and her thoughts stopped. All she could do was move forward and kiss him. That's all her body was allowing.

So she did. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. Remus was half smiling within the kiss. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled herself flush against his body. They stayed that way for several minutes. They didn't want to let go of each other. Remus didn't think he would be able to.

The two had kissed before. They had even been in this position before, but this was different. This time felt like it was real. It was forever, or at least for as long as they had together.

Finally Tonks pulled away from him. She looked into his eyes and knew. Knew it was different.

"I love you," she said to him. She saw Remus smile and then start to laugh. He ran his fingers through her hair. She noticed something as he played with her hair. It was pink again. Bright bubblegum pink. "I can morph again," she said giddily and pressed her lips to Remus' once again. She had known that her inability to morph had to have been tied to her feelings surrounding Remus, but wasn't completely sure. It had never happened before. Andromeda hadn't even known what could have been causing it.

This time Remus pulled away and saw her eyes slowly changing to violet. His favorite look on her. The look she had when she was happy.

"Will you…" Tonks started, "will you stay here with me tonight?"

Remus brushed her hair away from her face and stroked his thumb across her cheek. He pulled her head down and kissed her forehead. Instead of bringing her in to kiss her again he pulled her into his body to just hold her. To have her safe in his arms knowing that this time he won't have to let go.

That night Tonks lay wrapped in Remus' arms in her bed. Her head rested perfectly on his chest and his arm lay still around her waist. Remus didn't sleep much that night. He was on high alert making sure that she was safe. Tonks; however, slept soundly and barely moved the entire night.

Every wind gust or howl from the forest made Remus want to jump and grab his wand. Death Eaters were ready to attack as was he, if he needed to. To defend the woman sleeping there. Her pink hair covering her face.

The sun started to rise outside of the window and Tonks slowly woke up and gripped Remus tighter. She was shocked that the previous night wasn't a dream. She was lying there with Remus and he hadn't tried to leave in the middle of the night. She smiled into his chest and kissed him. Remus groaned and pulled her closer to him. They were both in such a state of bliss they had almost forgotten the tragedy that had struck just hours prior.

Dumbledore was dead. Bill Weasley was now carrying some sort of lycanthropy gene. The war was slowly beginning. And yet here they were smiling in bed together. Tonks swung her leg over Remus' body and pushed herself up so she was straddling him. Remus laughed at her while she sat there running her hands over his chest.

"Remus," she said, "I'm so glad we're together. Here. I'm glad you didn't run off last night."

"Never again," he said taking her hands. "How are you feeling? Handling everything that happened last night?"

Tonks' smile faded. She didn't move from where she sat. She didn't know how she was feeling. Dumbledore dying, it wasn't expected. With his death the war had begun. But then she imagined what Dumbledore would think of the position she was in at that moment. Sitting on top of Remus Lupin. Especially after she yelled at him for putting Remus in danger.

"It's all numbing," she finally said. "What do we do now? You think Mad-Eye will send you back to spy?"

Remus put his hands on her thighs. "I don't think so. I'm sure I'm needed here more now. Voldemort made sure that Dumbledore died. It's time to fight. We knew this was coming."

"I guess," she said. "I guess I was just praying that somehow Dumbledore would find a way to stop it."

Tonks crawled off of Remus and started towards the kitchen. She was in need of a cup of tea that morning. She hadn't eaten for hours. Remus quickly got up and followed her. He walked up behind her and gently placed his hand on the small of her back. She wasn't crying or shaking. She had a look of pure determination on her face. She looked up at Remus and knew that he wasn't going to leave her again.

"We have to win this, Remus," she said, her voice strong and serious.

"We will," he told her.

A few days had passed and Remus hadn't left the cottage. He and Tonks had been making themselves a little nest in the house. They sat up late talking and Remus finally got around to reading more of _Anna Karenina._ Remus watched as Tonks bustled around the kitchen breaking things and dropping pots while attempting to make dinner that she insisted she do. Remus believed she thought she needed to be a little like Andromeda. He had heard much from Sirius about Tonks' mother. But Remus didn't want Tonks to feel as though she needed to be a perfect housewife. That's not what all of this was about. He wanted her to be her clumsy, never cooked a meal before self. That's the woman he fell in love with. But it was so very endearing watching her as she cursed the objects she was using that he didn't say anything.

The day of Dumbledore's funeral had come. Tonks had woken up early to prepare for the day. She made a pot of tea and waited as Remus rose and put on his robes. Tonks looked in the mirror and thought she should dull her hair, now that she could again, but Remus had convinced her that Dumbledore would want her sporting her favorite bright pink. Because that meant she had finally found happiness again.

The couple walked up to the castle from Hogsmeade together. As they got closer to the castle they saw the students and many people from all over the world slowly filing into seats. They saw Hagrid sobbing into his tablecloth sized hanky. Remus looked at Tonks and saw tears falling from her eyes. He quickly took her hand and they continued to walk and find a seat. Neither were surprised at the people in attendance. Dumbledore knew and touch many people's lives.

They saw Harry briefly as they found seat and sat down. People were chatting and the sun was barreling down on them. It was warm and beautiful. Tonks thought it was the perfect day to be having this funeral. The day represented so much of who Dumbledore was. Always seeing the light and even under the worse circumstances he spoke highly of people.

The ceremony didn't last long. Kind words were said of Dumbledore. Everyone seemed to be crying while listening. The white flames erupted startling many people in the crowd. Then the white tomb was standing there. Dumbledore resting beneath it. It was so surreal sitting there watching someone they had known for so long be laid to rest. Knowing they wouldn't be seeing him again. The twinkle in his eyes had finally gone out.

Tonks remembered how many times she had gotten out of trouble after being sent to Dumbledore. Especially if Snape had caught her breaking the rules. Dumbledore had always found her so entertaining while she was a student. She would sit in front of his desk trying to explain herself and tell him that she wasn't at fault as her hair changed to a wonderful shade of orange. The color is often changed to when she was lying as a teenager, before she had absolute control over it. She always knew he wasn't going to punish her when he would look up from his desk over his half-moon glasses and smile at her. They would share a small smile and he'd offer her some sort of sweet before sending her off to her lessons.

Remus put his arm around Tonks' shoulder as he watched his old headmaster ending his life in the one place he loved more than anything else. Remus knew how much Dumbledore loved teaching at Hogwarts. How he loved molding the minds of young witches and wizards. How he told Remus that because he was a werewolf he was the perfect candidate to teach at the school. Maybe it would help students see that not all creatures are dangerous. That sometimes when in human form they can be the kindest of people. And when Remus went to resign Dumbledore attempted to convince him to stay, but knew it was a lost cause. Knew that Remus wouldn't be able to teach if he felt as though he wasn't wanted. And he let him go.

Remus and Tonks walked slowly back to her Hogsmeade cottage. But not before Mad-Eye had told them that they would be moving headquarters. With Snape now openly in Voldemort's ranks it was far too dangerous to go back to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. They agreed to wait for news of where headquarters would be moved.

They didn't speak for a while once they had returned. They had a small bite to eat, but still sat in silence. It was nightfall before either even had the energy to speak again. And this was important. Remus hadn't spoken at all because he had been thinking about what was next for him. For him and Tonks. He knew what he needed to do. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to make sure that he made Tonks the happiest he could before all hell broke loose with this new war.

"Dora," he said as they were both readying to slip into bed that night. He walked over to her side of the bed and took her hands. They walked over to the window and looked up at the stars and the moon. It was more beautiful that night than Remus had seen it in years. "I have to say something to you," he said.

Tonks' heart stopped for a brief moment. He was going to leave again. After he had convinced her and she had convinced herself that he wouldn't. Not today. Why was he doing this today?

"I love you," he started. "When I was a teenager I watched James and Sirius with the girls at Hogwarts. I had convinced myself that I wouldn't get a life like that. I accepted it. It was fine. I have spent most of my life completely alone. Wondering around trying to stay sane. Trying to stay alive. Sometimes wishing that I wasn't."

Tonks wrapped her arms around him and refused to move.

"Then this witch came, literally, stumbling into my life," he continued, making her laugh. "A witch that made me rethink everything that I had convinced myself of since I was eleven years-old. I fell in love with her and surprisingly enough she fell in love with me. And she is so incredibly stubborn that she got me to stop feeling so bad for myself. She got me to let her love me."

"She's grateful that you did," Tonks inserted. They both chuckled and looked at each other.

"Dora," he said. "We should get married. I want to marry you. Will you marry me?"

Tonks was frozen. This was very soon after they had actually became a couple. Since he had allowed himself to have this in his life. She looked at the sincerity in his eyes. He really did love her and truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

"Yes," she said jumping up, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissing him. "Remus Lupin, I love you so much. You really mean it? You're not going to freak out and run are you?"

"No," he said kissing her. "Not as long as I have you."

The newly betrothed couple stood there. Tangled in each other's arms bathed in the moonlight. Happy.

* * *

 _A/N: Soooo, because I had been waiting to write this chapter I wrote it really fast. I love the end of this and I loved writing all the mushy love stuff between these two. I'm so happy that I finally wrote enough to get them together. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm sure you know what's coming next._

 _Again hope you enjoyed. Please favorite, follow, and/or review and to follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraodinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	15. Wedding Day

The next morning Tonks woke up happier than she had ever been. At least from what she can remember. The night before Remus had proposed to her. They were getting married. She had waited for over a year for him to even admit that he wanted a relationship and now she was getting married.

She wanted to have the ceremony as quickly as possible. Before the war started. She wanted one moment of happiness before her entire life would start falling apart. She sent an owl to her parents and to Molly telling them what had happened. Explaining that her and Remus would be marrying and soon. Andromeda sent an owl back immediately.

 _Dearie Dora,_

 _I am very happy to hear about your impending marriage. I'm so very happy that you have found happiness with this man. I know how much you love him and we cannot wait to meet him. Let your father and I know what we need to do to help with planning yours and Remus' day. We want to be sure that the day is absolutely perfect for you both._

 _Love,_

 _Mum_

Tonks smiled reading the letter. She had been slightly concerned with her mother's reaction. All Andromeda knew of Remus was how he had broken her heart. But Tonks was very careful to include how happy she was and how Remus had had a change of heart. Well, more of a change of mind. He stopped thinking so much and just did what he truly wanted.

Remus finally woke up to the smell of breakfast. He was very surprised that she was awake and cooking. He walked into the kitchen and saw pots and pans doing all of the cooking.

"You mastered it," he said as he walked up and kissed her lightly.

"Not really," she said. "I've been working for at least an hour. Finally the eggs are cooking and the toast has been toasted. That's all we're having," she said as she laughed and stood up. "Good morning," she said wrapping her arms around his waist.

Remus hugged her back and put his chin on top of her head. "It is a very good morning, isn't it?" This morning felt entirely different to Remus. He felt completely happy. He was determined to not concern himself with Order business until they were married. They both knew it had to be soon and small. But he knew no matter what his wedding was going to be perfect because he was finally marrying the woman that he truly loved.

Later that day Molly had Apparated outside of the Hogsmeade cottage and hurriedly knocked on the door. Tonks had opened the door and flung her arms around the younger witch. "Oh dearie, I'm so happy for you," she squealed. She caught a glimpse of Remus from around Tonks' head. She quickly let go of the woman and raced over to hug Remus. "I'm so glad you finally came to your senses, Remus. You two are going to be so happy," she said taking Remus' hands.

Tonks closed the front door and walked back into the kitchen. Molly looked almost more excited about this upcoming marriage than either of them did.

"There's so much to do," Molly said sitting down at the table. "And not much time."

Tonks smiled. She loved Molly's enthusiasm surrounding this. She knew that Molly had been hoping for this for months. Almost as much as Tonks had.

They had spent most of the day making the few arrangements that they needed. Molly seemed to be enjoying planning this wedding far more than Bill and Fleur's. Even though she had gotten over most of her problems with Fleur there was still something there. Knowing that Tonks had been fighting for this for so long made Molly so happy that she couldn't pull herself away from the ceremony.

Over the next few hours they had decided it was going to be very small, just a few friends and family. Mainly The Order of the Phoenix would be in attendance and Tonks' parents. All of it would be very simple. Tonks insisted that she didn't need a gown or anything fancy, but Molly wouldn't hear of it. Molly would get to work on a simple gown for her the moment she got home. Molly kept telling them that it was important that they treat this day just as they would without a war coming on.

Remus told Molly that neither of them wanted anything large even if there wasn't a war. They had sent another owl to Andromeda asking if it was alright if they married on the lawn of their home.

Tonks was waiting for a reply from her mother when she heard a crack and saw her mother standing there in her sitting room.

"Mum," Tonks said excitedly and hugged her. "What are you doing here?"

Andromeda squeezed her daughter tightly. "Dear, I am so happy this is happening for you."

The older witch turned and saw Remus standing there looking very nervous. He didn't know what to do or say at this moment. They had never meant and Remus knew that Tonks had gone to her mother after they had broken up. Tonks was close to her parents and he knew that she had probably told them all the aspects of her relationship with him.

"This must be Remus," she said walking over and shaking his hand. "I'm so happy for you."

The rest of the day the three women sat in the kitchen discussing details and sending owls to guests.

The next few days were a blur. Molly was randomly showing up to be sure Tonks' bridal gown fit it properly. They spoke of flowers and food and it was beginning to make Remus' head spin. It seemed like this day was going to be much larger than he had originally planned. Tonks kept reminding him that it wasn't. It was still going to be small and just what they wanted.

The night before the wedding the two of them were sitting on the sofa as Remus read more of _Anna Karenina_. Tonks had cuddled into his side like she always did when they had these nights. She was so sure that everything for the following day was going to be so wonderful that she wasn't nervous. The two of them had read through chapter ten together and Remus closed the book. They sat there holding each other for most of the night.

Around three o'clock in the morning Remus noticed Tonks was asleep in his arms. He knew she needed her rest and thought it would be better if she was to sleep in her own bed. He slowly moved to pick her up and not wake her. She was so beautiful when she was asleep. Not that she wasn't always beautiful, but there was something about how peaceful she looked when she wasn't worrying about the world. He laid her down gently and she stirred awake.

"Where are you going," she asked sleepily.

"Nowhere," he replied. "I was just going to crawl in next to you," he said as he walked around the bed.

"Good," she said and rolled over so that when he laid down she would quickly be able to wrap her arms around him. And she did. "We're getting married tomorrow," she said into his chest.

Remus could feel her smiling against his body. "Nothing has ever made me happier," he said tightening his hold on her. "Go back to sleep."

Remus laid there staring at her for almost another hour before finally drifting off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be the greatest day of his life. And he was finally ready to take that step.

Molly Apparated to the Hogsmeade cottage early the following morning. She quietly woke Tonks from her sleep. Tonks, of course, went on the offensive and grabbed her wand from the bedside table. Molly motioned for her to be quiet as to not wake up Remus. She walked the younger woman from the room and into the kitchen.

"What are you doing," Tonks asked Molly as she bustled around the kitchen making a pot of tea.

"Must hurry," Molly said. "We have to get out of here before Remus wakes up. Once we arrive back at the Burrow Arthur will come for him."

"Molly," Tonks said stopping the woman from what she was doing. "What are you talking about?"

Molly laughed and took Tonks' shoulders. "Can't see each other before the wedding. Once you've had a cup of tea we will go back to the Burrow for breakfast and the fit your gown one last time. Then we go to your parents' to start setting up."

Tonks smiled. She loved that Molly was making such a fuss over this day. She was almost as excited as the bride was. She assumed her mother would be fussing around the house already making sure that everything was perfect. She was probably already cooking the food for the party afterwards. The flowers were probably weaving themselves into bouquets and with twigs creating an archway for her and Remus to stand under during the ceremony.

Tonks finished her cup of tea when Molly heard a stir from the bedroom. She grabbed Tonks and quickly Disapparated. Remus walked out into the kitchen worried after waking up alone. Suddenly he heard a loud crack and Arthur Weasley was standing in front of him holding a pile of robes in his hands.

"Molly says good morning," Arthur said moving to pour himself a cup of tea. "She and Tonks are getting a few things at the Burrow before going to the Tonks residence. She sent these," he said setting the robes down on the table.

"Tonks is with Molly," Remus asked trying to assess the situation.

"Yes," Arthur said quite enthusiastically. "Says you aren't allowed to see each other before the ceremony."

Arthur and Remus sat and ate breakfast and spoke of marriage and how Remus was really looking forward to living his life with Tonks. Arthur could see just how happy the man before him was. It was a rare thing to see Remus Lupin so happy he couldn't stop talking. He was going on about life and how he had been stupid enough to let Tonks out of it. To push her out really. Arthur kept laughing at Remus' obvious giddy manner.

Over at the Burrow Molly was making the final fitting of Tonks' wedding gown. Ginny was sitting in a light pink bride's maid dress with tank straps. She sat holding a pin cushion for her mother as Molly was waving her wand making sure everything was perfect.

Molly knew Tonks and Remus didn't want to make this day a big deal, but she always knew how long Tonks had been waiting for it. She wanted every detail to be perfect for her. A wedding was one day, but it was the day that signaled the rest of their lives. After that day the two of them would be spending whatever they had left together. With this war Molly knew that this was more important now than ever. And she was finally feeling the same was about Bill and Fleur's wedding.

Fleur came rushing down the stairs and looked at Tonks standing in her dress. She walked over and touched Tonks' bright pink hair. "We will put flowers in your 'air," she said. "Small white ones." Tonks smiled.

Tonks and Fleur didn't know each other very well or even really like each other all that much, but there was something about that moment where they completely understood each other. They shared a knowing look and Tonks' took Fleur's hand in hers for just a moment.

Molly finished fitting Tonks dress and rushed her out of it. After Tonks and Ginny were out of their dresses the rest of the house gathered in the family room. Those of age Disapparated to the Tonks' residence and Molly stayed to use the Floo network with the others.

Andromeda was waiting eagerly in the family room for everyone to arrive. She had lunch sitting prepared on the table. Tonks came in with her gown in hand excited to see her mother. As soon as Andromeda heard the sound of people Apparating into her home she fled downstairs to see her daughter. She came in and hugged Tonks' tightly.

"My dear Dora, I'm just so happy for you," she said as the two women stood there embraced. Tonks looked up and saw her father, Ted, walking down the stairs to greet their guests.

Ted walked over and pried Tonks from her mother's arms and hugged her himself. He whispered that he loved her into her ear before Molly came in ushering people to the table.

"Yes, much to do," Andromeda said following Molly's lead. The two women worked quite well together in this situation. Molly took over lunch for the girls and Andromeda took to preparing the dinner for that night. Tonks was correct there were flowers weaving themselves into an archway made of twigs sitting outside where there were about twenty chairs lined up.

The entire day people were hustling about to prepare and make everything perfect. Molly lit many candles and enchanted them to hover above the aisle. It was beautiful.

Fleur had done Tonks' hair. It was still bright pink, but Fleur had put in loose curls and pulled it back on one side fastening three white prim flowers into her hair. Fleur put a small amount of eyeshadow on the other woman to bring out the violet eyes she was now sporting.

The time was coming to get ready for the ceremony. Molly had taken Tonks and Ginny upstairs to get into their dresses for the ceremony. And the men were to arrive any moment downstairs. Molly helped Ginny into her gown before slowly getting Tonks into hers. Once Tonks was dressed Molly pulled out one small final detail that Andromeda had made for her. Before she showed it to Tonks, Andromeda walked into the room.

Andromeda gasped and started to cry. "You look so beautiful, my dear," she said and hugged her daughter. Molly touched the witch's shoulder pulling her away and handing her what she had grabbed. Andromeda turned back to Tonks and smiled. "Since Molly made your dress I wanted a little of your mother with you as you take this journey," she said as she fastened a string of glittering cherry blossoms around Tonks' waist. It was the perfect touch to an already beautiful gown.

Downstairs the men had arrived. They were all dressed in their dress robes. Remus was looking a little nervous. Ted walked over to him. "Remus Lupin," he asked offering his hand for Remus to shake.

"Yes," he responded. "Pleasure, Mr. Tonks."

"Ted," he said. "You were Sirius' friend in school."

Hearing Sirius' name made Remus' heart ache. He wished his friend, who had pushed him and Tonks together, could have been there that day. To see that Remus had finally seen reason and was marrying Sirius' young cousin. So Remus simply nodded.

"Welcome," Ted said gesturing to the rest of his home. "The ceremony will be held outside. The guests should be arriving soon."

And they were. Mad-Eye. Kingsley. Dedalus Diggle. Ron and Hermione. All of the Weasleys. Hagrid. Even Mundungus Fletcher was there. Though he wasn't on Molly's guest list. It was going to be a very nice and simple evening.

Darkness was coming over the sky and the candles were lighting the lawn. There was one long table set out that would sit all of the guests for the dinner. There was a small tent set up for music and dancing after the meal was finished.

The altar was decorated with white and pink flowers. Remus smiled seeing it. He loved that Molly and Andromeda used pink as the color. It was the color he always associated Tonks with.

Molly came rushing out of the house ushering people into their seats informing them that the ceremony would be starting soon. She walked over to Ron to ensure he had the wedding rings. Ron was acting as Remus' best man just as Ginny was acting as Tonks' maid of honor. Kingsley was to perform the ceremony. It was difficult to find a wizard to perform the ceremony because of Remus' condition. Kingsley kindly offered saying he was able to perform it and it be completely legal within their world.

The music started to play and everyone took their seats. Remus and Ron stood at the altar smiling. Anxiously awaiting Tonks approach.

Inside the house Ginny was holding both bouquets of white and pink flowers fastened together with white lace. Andromeda was adjusting her daughter's dress and hair making sure she looked perfect.

"My love, you are so beautiful," Andromeda said taking Tonks' face in her hands.

Ted walked over to his daughter and took her hands. "I am so happy that you have found this happiness. You are going to have such a happy life with Remus. I love you very much, my dear."

"I love you too, dad," Tonks said kissing his cheek.

Molly came into the house informing them it was time. She rushed back to her seat as Ginny handed Tonks' her bouquet. Ginny exited the house first and walked to the altar. The music mad a change and the door came open revealing Tonks and her parents.

Remus stood looking at her in awe. It was a horrible cliché, but Remus hadn't thought his bride could be more beautiful than she was in her robes every day. However, as she walked towards him he was falling in love a million times over. Her hair perfectly curled and pinned back with white flowers. The dress made of cream chiffon fabric flowing in the wind. Slightly gathered at the waist and moving into a halter wrapped around her neck. The cherry blossoms wrapped around her waist. And the look on her face. It was pure bliss. She was so happy walking towards him. He felt himself being pulled towards her. He wanted to hold her. To kiss her.

Tonks finally stopped directly in front of him. She kissed her parents and they sat down in the front row next to Molly and Arthur.

Kingsley didn't say much to start the ceremony. He thought it best to let the couple speak their vows.

Remus went first, "Dora," he started. "I always call you that when it's important. We've had many important conversations, but this is the most important thing we can ever do. Over the past year we've had a very hard time. Made mostly by how stubborn I am. But your being stubborn brought us here. I have loved you since that first night in London. I told you that I believed that you deserved to be with someone who had as much life in them as you do and I don't." Tonks opened her mouth to rebut. "It's true, don't deny it. And it's my turn to speak." The crowd laughed. "That I almost didn't go out with you that night. That I was so shocked you wanted to be with me. You're this beautiful young witch that could have anyone and you chose me. A grumpy old werewolf. But with all of that going on in my head I still cared for you. And I tried not to for so long. I tried to forget about my feelings for you. Letting you go. Obviously it didn't work. I kept falling more in love with you. Against my best efforts. I love your stubbornness and that you always sport that bright pink hair. I love that when you stumble and I catch you, you take a moment before standing back up. I love how passionate you are and how you fight for what you believe in. I love watching you fuss over me in the mornings as you smash pots and pans in the kitchen waking me up. You are the most important thing in my life. I am sorry I put you through so much this past year. I love all of you and I will love you for the rest of my life and longer."

"Tonks," Kingsley said.

"Remus," she said. "I love that you use 'Dora' when you have something important to say. Remember the day after we went out on patrol and I was hit hard with that stunning spell," she asked him and he nodded. "That was the night I knew that this day would happen. Even though that's also the day that you broke up with me. You told me that we couldn't do it anymore. You didn't explain, but I knew what you were saying. I knew that you thought you were a risk to me. You've felt that way since that first night in London. And even though you being that way has hurt, I love you so much more for it. We always seem to come back to each other. I tried too. I tried to forget the pain and move on, but I couldn't. There was still this grumpy old werewolf that wouldn't stop 'trying to protect me' that I was mindlessly in love with. You talk so much about me being stubborn, but that's one thing we have in common. You are almost more stubborn than I am. This is going to be an interesting marriage." The crowd laughed again. "You wanted to protect me. And I love how protective you are. You trying to protect me made me love you more. Remus, you wouldn't have gone through such lengths to keep me away from you if you didn't love me. I love that you want to protect me. I love that you call yourself a grumpy old werewolf. I love how much you care for every person here and would do anything for them. I love that you have convinced me to read _Anna Karenina_ a muggle book. And that you read it to me late at night as we sit by the fire. I will love all of these things long after I have gone. And I haven't told you that I forgive you for all of it. I love you so much, Remus Lupin."

The two of them exchanged rings and Kingsley couldn't stop smiling.

"Do you Remus Lupin, take Nymphadora Tonks, to be your wife," Kingsley said earning a foul glare from Tonks.

"I do," Remus said giving Tonks a small wink knowing how much she hated her name.

"Do you, Nymph," Tonks shot him a look. "It's the way it has to be, Tonks," he said and the crowd laughed again. "Do you Nymphadora Tonks, take Remus Lupin, to be your husband," he asked.

"I do," she said smiling brightly at Remus.

Kingsley pointed his wand at Tonks' and Remus' hands and a shower of stars fell over them. The crowd started to applaud as Remus pulled his new wife into his body and kissed her.

Once the kiss was broken Remus didn't let go and touched his forehead to hers. "I love you, you know?"

"I know," she said back leaning up to give him a quick peck.

"Nymphadora Lupin," he said chuckling knowing she was going to smack him at the use of her full name. He was right.

"I'm still going by 'Tonks'," she told him as she took his hand and the two of them walked back up the aisle together. As they walked they saw the smiling faces of all of their friends and laughed. The two of them couldn't believe that they had actually gotten married. Once they were back up the aisle Remus turned to Tonks and pulled her in to kiss her again earning a right cheer from the crowd. Nothing could ruin just how happy they were right then.

* * *

 _A/N: So I LOVED writing this chapter. They're finally married. I have nothing really to say after this one because I just love it so much. Hope you enjoyed._

 _If you enjoyed this chapter please favorite, follow, and/or review. And don't forget to follow my social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	16. The Morning AfterAgain

The reception started with the dinner that Andromeda had been preparing all day. Speeches were made by Tonks' parents and Molly and Arthur. Remus kept looking at everyone there. All of the laughter and chatter going on at the table was infectious.

Tonks and Remus sat at the head of the table together. Andromeda and Molly had positioned their chairs very close together. Remus' hand had barely left Tonks' leg during dinner. Fred and George kept clinking their glasses making the newly married couple kiss in between bites. After doing this many times Molly took the twins' glasses away. Remus and Tonks had barely had anything to eat since they sat down.

The music had started playing again and all of the younger guests quickly got up and began to dance. Molly pulled Arthur out to dance together, as did Andromeda with Ted. Tonks stood and took Remus' hand dragging him to where the rest of the party was. The music slowed down as the newlyweds made their way to the dance floor. Remus wrapped his arms around his wife's waist as Tonks wrapped hers around his neck. They moved slowly together as the music played. They didn't say anything to each other as they swayed around the dance floor. The look they were giving each other said more than their words could have.

The music started to speed up and Remus tightened his hold on his wife, picked her up and spun her around. Tonks squealed in delight. This day was so perfect that Tonks half thought it was a dream. The candle light definitely added to that effect. It was as though everything that had been going on recently had disappeared. Nothing else mattered that night. Remus was laughing with Kingsley and constantly sneaking up behind his new wife and taking her waist in his hands.

They spent all night drinking and dancing together. Another slow song started to play and Remus went in search for his bride. He tugged her out to dance with her. "So I want to talk to you about something," he said in a low tone so no one would hear him.

"This sounds serious, Remus," Tonks chuckled. She knew he had been drinking a little and loved the way he was acting. Seeing him this free was not something that she was used to. It was something that she was coming to treasure deeply. She knew that within the coming months this could be taken from both of them. Laughter. Joy. Each other.

Remus nodded his head. He was a little tipsy that night. The amount of alcohol Molly and Andromeda had cooked up was much more than they had needed. And the guests were determined to make sure there was nothing left over.

The man leaned down and whispered into his wife's ear. "I want to go home," he said kissing her cheek gently.

"Where home," Tonks asked. She knew that going back to Hogsmeade was probably a horrible idea, but she did agree with him. She wanted to leave this party and be alone with her new husband. Who knew when they would actually get a chance to be completely alone. Without the risk of an owl flying in or someone's patronas interrupting them. "Hogsmeade? That probably isn't safe now," she told him.

Remus shook his head. "I have a little surprise for you," he said. "Arthur helped me put it together today."

Tonks was already surprised. Everything that had happened in the past week and a half was shocking her. She was barely able to keep up at this point. It was like someone had flicked a switch in Remus' head and change him almost entirely. Not enough that he was different, but enough so that he was letting go a little more. Allowing things and people in. Tonks was so happy with this. She just hoped it would continue for their entire marriage.

"Alright then," Tonks said breaking away from him. "Why don't we say our 'goodbyes' and you can show me this surprise of yours," she reached up and kissed him lightly on the lips. Remus' lips grew into a very large smile as he watched her pull away from him.

It took almost another hour for the newly wedded couple to depart from the Tonks' family home. Most of the guests had been readying to leave as well, but once they began to say goodbye to Molly they were trapped. Molly kept gushing about how happy for them she was. Giving Tonks tips on how to handle one of Remus' moods. Giving them both happy marriage advice. And long before Molly had finished Andromeda had come in to give her opinion on marriage and how the new couple were to handle things.

Arthur finally pulled Molly away and the Weasley's and Hermione left through the Floo Network. Ted was attempting to pull his wife away. Informing her that their daughter and her new husband would be wanting to head out and have some time to themselves. At least for a little while.

Tonks was very grateful to her father for getting her mother inside the house. She and Remus stood outside for a moment longer looking up at the sky. It was then that Tonks realized in just a days' time it would be a full moon. She would have to watch her husband go through something unimaginable. But at least he would have his potion to make it all a little easier on him. He had gone many months going through his transformations without the potion and she could see its effect on him.

Remus suddenly pulled his wife into his body and Disapparated from the lawn.

Instantly they reappeared onto the lawn of an old looking house. Two levels. A tad rundown, but livable. Remus saw Tonks open her mouth to speak, but motioned for her to stay silent. He took her hand and they walked into the house together. It was small. There was a small sitting room with a fireplace, Tonks assumed was connected to the Floo Network. A kitchen with a table sitting in the middle. The table looked rather new, however. There was a toilet near the kitchen.

Remus led Tonks' up the small staircase that lived in the sitting room. Once on the second level they walked past two empty bedrooms. Once at the end of the hall Remus opened the door to the final bedroom and brought her inside.

"Where are we," she finally asked him.

Remus didn't say anything. He let her wonder the room for a short while. Eventually she made it to the windowsill and picked up an old picture frame. Inside a photo of a nice looking young couple and a small child. The woman was smiling while trying to get the boy to look at the camera, without any luck. The man was standing and chuckling at them both.

Tonks turned back to her husband. "You grew up here?"

Remus smiled. "You've always wanted to know about my past and we needed a safe place to live. This home is my past. A past that sometimes I try to forget about. But I want this home to be our future," he said walking over and taking her hands.

"This is what you were doing all day while we were preparing for the wedding," she asked smacking his chest lightly.

"Yes," he said. "I moved all of our belongings here. If you agree, I would like to start our life together here."

Tonks jumped to kiss him. This was so much more than anything she would have expected from him. It was beautiful. The perfecting ending to this day.

As the two of them kissed it became much deeper and lit with more passion as it continued on. Remus lifted his hands to untie the halter of her gown letting the ties fall against her pale skin. Tonks moved to push Remus' dress robes from his shoulders.

The kiss broke and they pulled away from each other. Tonks' gown fell to the floor around her leaving her in her undergarments. Remus quickly unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the ground behind him. Tonks' squinted her eyes while looking at him. Suddenly he was very aware of all of the scars on his torso. He had never shown a woman this part of him before. Scars from where he hurt himself. A few that had been put there by Greyback when he infected Remus as a boy. Scars that told his story. He was sure that she would back away from him. Disgusted by the way he looked.

Tonks slowly moved towards him. She reached out and touched his arm gently. She traced a few scars on his arms and torso. She had always said she wanted to know about his past and it was written across his body for her to read. All of the years of transformations were right there beneath her finger tips. It was like putting together a puzzle. Each scar another piece.

Finally she looked up to see his concerned face. The look he had when he was thinking of running. She put her hand on the side of his face and stroked it tenderly. Reassuring him that she was right there with him. They were together and these scars are a part of him that she truly loved.

"I love all of you," she said quietly. "You are beautiful."

Remus snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her into him. Their lips smashed together as Remus lifted his small wife off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his body as he walked them towards the bed. He laid her down as gently as he could.

This was the first night they would be spending in an intimate way. Remus was highly aware of everything around him. Mostly of the woman he was lying with. How soft her skin was and the warmth coming off of her. How their bodies seemed to be moving in perfect harmony. He had expect this moment to be awkward and a bit intimidating, but it wasn't. It was everything he had been dreaming about. Tonks responding to each of his touches. Feeling her lips on his naked chest.

Lying there with Tonks in his arms it was as though nothing else mattered. This kind of intimacy and love with someone was never something that Remus thought he could have. He assumed he was to be alone for his entire life. And he had made peace with that many years ago. But here he was. Having this moment with a woman who loved him. Who wanted to be with him despite his condition. Who was holding onto him like her life depended on it. He was finally completely happy.

It was well into the night as Remus woke up suddenly. He momentarily forgot where he was. Then he felt her breath on his still bare chest. He released a breath and held onto her a little tighter. As he mentally recalled the events of hours before he felt her stir slightly. Felt her leg wrap around his. Her hair tickling his nose a little. Remus smiled and closed his eyes.

As the sun rose the next morning and Tonks slowly opened her eyes. She looked at Remus and smiled. She lifted her hand to rest it on his chest and saw the glittering wedding ring on her finger. She played with it for a moment thinking about everything. She had married the love of her life the previous night. He had surprised her with moving into his childhood home and creating a home of their own. And here she was lying with him in bed. After a marvelous night together. She had been thinking about that night for a long time. Months. It had been everything that she had wanted it to be and so much more.

Tonks lay there tracing Remus' scars with her fingers once again. Trying to piece together his childhood. Before meeting Sirius and James. How his parents and family reacted to him being infected. How he handled transformations when he was a boy. There was a large scar all the way across his chest. It must have almost split him in two when it was fresh. She hoped that he had not done that to himself. She knew when he would change without the potion he would hurt himself as to not hurt someone else. It was all right there in front of her. She knew that Remus wouldn't willingly talk about his past. It was too hard on him.

"Your hands are cold," she heard him mumble.

"Sorry," she said giggling and removing her hand from his bare chest.

Remus reached his arm up and took her hand in his without opening his eyes. He felt the cold metal of her wedding ring. "So getting married wasn't just a very real dream," he said looking at her. "Thank, Merlin."

"There were parts that felt like a dream," she responded. "Like you bringing me here. Allowing me into a part of your past."

There was a loud silence between them. Neither of them wanted to break it. Tonks didn't want to pry into his childhood. However, Remus wanted to talk about it he just didn't know how. The only other time he had talked about his childhood briefly was when Harry had found out he was a werewolf in his third year at Hogwarts. Sirius hadn't even known much about it.

The newlyweds laid there for a while longer embraced. Neither wanted to move. It was so peaceful lying there in the silence wrapped in each other's arms. Neither of them had ever felt safer than they did lying together.

It took another hour for either of them to get out of bed. Tonks got up and put on her dressing gown before she headed downstairs to make a pot of tea. The two of them ate breakfast. Tonks stuck her finger in the jam jar and smeared it over Remus' face. He laughed and moved to pull her into him. Remus had Tonks tight against him as they both fell into a fit of laughter.

Remus couldn't remember ever being this happy. Laughing for no other reason than he was standing with his wife. Though they both knew this wasn't going to last long. The next day they would be meeting with The Order of the Phoenix to discuss getting Harry from the Dursley's. And that would be coming with so much danger. It was very possible that they could be attacked during that night. They both knew that it was all starting in full and they weren't going waste a single minute of the time they had together.

They knew Molly had convinced The Order to leave them be for a day before bothering them with missions and risk. So they spent the day completely unpacking Tonks' belongings. Early in the afternoon Tonks had noticed that Remus had indeed brought everything from her flat in London as well from the Hogsmeade cottage. They put up family photos and made the sitting room feel like their home.

Late that afternoon an owl had come holding a large package. Tonks opened it up and saw a note from Molly:

 _Dearies,_

 _Here are some of the best photographs from last night. I hope all is well in your new home. Arthur told me what you did, Remus. That was so sweet of you. I hope to see you both tomorrow._

 _All the love,_

 _Molly_

Tonks ignored the portion of the letter that they needed to look at and opened up the package. Molly had framed three photos from the wedding. The first, Tonks and Remus standing together under the archway Andromeda had made. Tonks was laughing and adjusting Remus' robes while he was smiling down at her before pulling her into a hug. The second was of everyone in attendance. They were all smiling and laughing as the couple kissed in the center. The last was one that they hadn't known had been taken. The two were dancing close together. Both with large smiles on their faces. Tonks reached up and touched his face gently before Remus leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Tonks quickly placed the photos around the sitting room. Remus picked up the one of them dancing and took it up to their bedroom. It was officially their home.

Remus sent a patronas to the Burrow to get the exact time and place of the meeting the next day. Then they spent the rest of their day laughing and creating their home. The two barely took their hands off of her each other. Tonks was completely sure that her life couldn't possibly get better than it was. Everything was impeccable.

* * *

 _A/N: I want to thank a wonderful Twitter user that gave me such a great idea for their first night together as husband and wife. After receiving that suggestion I just started writing and really love what I was able to come up with. I think we all know what is coming for these two love birds. Besides stuff with The Order. And I've got a great idea for that one too. So I'm gonna go write while you read._

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did remember to follow, favorite, and review. Also be sure to follow me on social media. Twitter: QueerAsColiver. Instagram: fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	17. Another Lupin

It had been three days since the wedding. The Order had gathered to confirm the mission to extract Harry from the Dursley's and bring him to the Burrow. It wasn't a fool proof plan, but it was the best they had. They had to get Harry to safety before he turned seventeen and the protection over the Dursley's house wore off.

Tonks and Remus had been busy around their new home. Tonks' magical cleaning was always a little erratic, but over the past few days it's gotten worse. Normally when she attempted to put a dirty pot into the sink and have it wash itself the pot would simply tip over emptying its contents onto the floor and then sit back down on the stove. But now when she would cast the spell to have the kitchen clean itself. The pots, pans, and utensils flew around at random and ended up in the wrong cabinets and drawers. All without being cleaned.

Remus kept insisting that he cast the spell, but Tonks wanted to learn to do these household chores charms as well as her mother. It had been getting a little better, but after the wedding it seemed like nothing wanted to go right. Her morphing was even becoming more erratic. That morning she had woken up with bright neon yellow hair sticking out in all different directions. She knew, from her experience in the past year with Remus, that her emotions were tied to her morphing abilities. She figured they were just acting out because she had never been this happy. Her other magic, however; was a total mystery.

Remus had went to The Burrow to finalize the details of the extraction that was to happen in a mere six days. So Tonks called on her mother to make a short visit to see if she knew what was going on with Tonks magic. Within the hour Andromeda had come to the Lupin residence to see her daughter.

Tonks quickly showed her mother what was going on with her magic by putting on a pot of tea and making biscuits for them both. The kettle flew across the room and the white flower bag exploded covering them both. Tonks quickly gave up and sat down at the table letting Andromeda clean the kitchen and put the kettle on and the biscuits in the oven.

The older woman sat back down at the table chuckling to herself. She knew exactly what was happening to her daughter's magic and her morphing abilities. When she looked at Tonks, the young witch's eye had grown to twice their normal size and her hair was three feet longer than when she had arrived. And it was neon green. Andromeda found her daughter's frustration completely understandable. She remembered when she had lost control of her magic, briefly. About twenty-four years earlier.

Andromeda took Tonks' hands in her own and walked her to the sitting room. Tonks was getting more frustrated with her morphing being out of her control.

"Dear," Andromeda started. "I know what's wrong. We need to talk."

"Mother," Tonks said sounding more than a little irritable. "Is there just some sort of charm or spell to make it stop? What's actually causing this?"

Andromeda tucked some hair behind Tonks' ear and smiled. "Dear, you're married. This was going to happen."

"Mother."

"Nymphadora," Andromeda said sternly. "You're pregnant."

"What," Tonks asked hoping she had heard her mother wrong and that there was some other sort of explanation for these weird occurrences.

Andromeda laughed again. She wasn't expecting Tonks to be extremely enthusiastic to hear this news. Not with the war happening and her involvement in it. She loved how passionate her daughter was and how she was willing to put herself in the line of fire to protect people in their world. Andromeda always admired that about Tonks. It always made her nervous as well. She knew he daughter could take care of herself, but because Andromeda had two sisters out there that wanted to kill her daughter. Wanted her husband dead. And she didn't want Tonks to be on the receiving end of a killing curse cast by one of her aunts.

"Dear, you're pregnant," Andromeda said cupping her daughter's cheek. "This is a good thing."

Tonks wasn't so sure. She knew that carrying a child at this time would be difficult and more dangerous than ever. Then there was also Remus. A man who had just accepted the fact that he was in love with someone and allowed himself a shred of happiness by marrying her. She didn't know how she was going to tell her new husband that they were going to be parents. She knew how Remus felt about having children. He feared it. Feared that he would father a son cursed with lycanthropy. And now Tonks feared that he would run again. That he would break every promise that he had made her recently.

But she wanted a family. She truly did. And having a baby was a good thing. Her mother was right. She wanted this child and was happy that she was pregnant.

"Dora," Andromeda said quietly. "Are you alright, dear?"

Tonks came out of her dazed state. "I'm alright, mum," she said as she stared at the floor. "I'm happy. There will be a little witch or wizard, part me and part Remus. But that's what I'm worried about. Worried about Remus. What's he going to do? We've only just gotten married and I know he believes that if he had a child it would carry the lycanthropy gene. He didn't want children because of that. He thought he couldn't. And now…" she trailed off.

Andromeda hugged her daughter and ran her fingers through the ever changing hair. "When Remus gets home this is the first thing you need to tell him." Tonks nodded in agreement. "But first I know of a simple potion that will take care of your pregnancy symptoms. Hopefully it will work on your morphing abilities."

Tonks sighed in relief. She would be able to perform simple magic again and hopefully the baby would stop playing with her appearance. Over the next half hour Andromeda was able to concoct the potion to help with pregnancy symptoms and taught Tonks how to mix it. Andromeda instructed her daughter to take the potion twice a day and that would keep the symptoms at bay.

When Andromeda heard Remus Apparate into the bedroom upstairs she said 'goodbye' to her daughter and left. Remus came downstairs and started speaking about his time at The Burrow. Told her that she was to be paired with Ron when they extracted Harry.

"Who Disapparated when I got back," he finally asked settling down next to his wife.

"Mum," she told him. "I asked her to stop by and assess what's happening with my magic. Other than me being clumsy. And my morphing."

"Well it seems as though you've gained control of your morphing again," he said putting his hand in her pink hair.

"Mum, brewed a potion to help," she said.

"What kind of potion helps with out of control magic," he asked her taking her hand.

This was her opening. She had to tell him about the baby. She looked at her husband's soft and caring eyes. She saw everything that was good inside him. How much love he truly have to give. How much he loved her. Then she saw the scar on his face. She remembered that the full moon was coming. She could see the effects starting to appear on his face. He was looking more tired than usual. He was going to change soon and that fact may make Remus react differently than he would have a week prior.

"Remus," she said. "We need to have a conversation."

Remus could see the concern on her face. He could see that something was bothering her. "Dora," he started, "what's wrong?"

"Remus," she said making sure that she didn't let too much of her fear of him leaving show. "Remus, the reason my magic and morphing abilities were going haywire is…I'm…Remus, I'm pregnant." There was a deafening silence between them. "Remus? I know that you thought you couldn't have children or that you didn't want them because of your condition and you just told me you thought you couldn't have them. I know that you've got to be concerned for the child's safety. I know that you—"

Remus stopped her talking by pressing his lips to hers. He had always been wary about having children. Though he never thought it a possibility because he never thought he'd have a woman like Tonks in his life. He never thought he'd actually have the option and now that it was staring him directly in the face he had to figure out how he felt about it. But right now he needed to be sure that his wife didn't see his hesitation. She needed to feel secure and comforted because she seemed to be freaking out as well.

"Dora, darling," he said pulling her into his chest. He didn't say anything more because he had no idea how to handle something like this. He had just been getting used to the idea of having one other person completely effected by his monthly transformations. And the full moon was coming quickly. Less than a week away. He would be changing and what about Tonks and the baby. What would happen if the child was carrying the lycanthropy gene? What would happen to his wife? Would she change as well? He didn't want her to be going through that. And if she did, would she be able to take the Wolfsbane potion and it not negatively affect the child?

There were so many questions that no one had ever answered. Simply because this type of situation never came up. And if it had it had not been recorded anywhere. Remus was terrified for his wife and his child. Because no matter how he was feeling about having a baby, he was going to be a father and soon. All of these questions would be answered though. Hopefully the outcome would be a good one. But if the child wasn't effected by the full moon while in the womb it may still carry the gene, but it just wouldn't become active until the baby is born.

Tonks pulled away from her husband's embrace and looked into his eyes. "Remus," she started, "how are you feeling about all this?"

Remus didn't know what to say. He could easily lie to her and tell her that he was happy, but he knew if he did that he'd feel incredibly guilty and not be able to live with himself. He needed to be honest with her. He looked down at the floor for a moment gathering the words he needed before he spoke. He didn't want to say the wrong thing to her. Not now. This situation was far too delicate.

"Dora," he said. "I don't know how I'm feeling. You're right though. I never thought this possible. But I had never thought someone like yourself loving me possible either."

"We're defying the odds," she said forcing a laugh to come from her lips.

"I guess we are," Remus said taking her hands. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I'm terrified. The full moon is coming and it could affect you. You could develop symptoms. However slight. I'm worried for you. There are so many uncertainties surrounding this."

"But we'll get through it all together," Tonks said squeezing his hand. "We've gotten through so much. This is just one more thing. And we'll find out at the end of the week."

Tonks hadn't even thought about herself once she found out she was pregnant. The thought of the child transforming while in the womb never occurred to her. And would it happen this early on? Or would it take a month or two when the child was more developed? Remus was correct. There was so much uncertainty, but they were going to do this. And they would do it together.

"Dear, I think we should discuss another concern," Remus said. Tonks looked quite worried with his tone. "I think we should consider speaking with Mad-Eye and taking you off the mission to extract Harry."

"What," Tonks nearly shouted as she stood. "Not a chance! Who else could do this? You know that I am the only other person that can do this. I want to do this."

"But the child," Remus said. "What if the potion wears off and you're magic goes off its rocker again?"

"I'll make sure that I take the potion at the proper times," Tonks rebutted. "You will not convince me to stop this fight."

"I'm not asking you to," he had stood, but was keeping his voice low. "I'm asking you to consider stepping back briefly to ensure the safety of our child."

"While I sit on my ass here, where are you," she asked him. Her voice still raised. "You're out there risking yourself. And you expect me to sit here not knowing if when I kissed you 'goodbye' that was the last time? You know that I'm not that person."

"I know, dear," he said trying to take her hands, but she pulled away. "I love that you're not that person. But I can barely stand the thought of going out there with you and coming back here alone. Now there are two of you that I'm more concerned with than I am myself. I can't lose you both."

Tonks looked at him. He looked scared. More scared than she had ever seen him. He had a similar look on his face when he saw Sirius falling through the veil. She understood his thinking. All he's ever tried to do is keep her safe. That's why he broke up with her. That's why he went undercover with the werewolves. He's hurt her and loved her all this time and that's all he was trying to do now. But just as she did then, she was not going to let him being noble stop her from being herself. He always said that's what he loved about her.

The woman took a deep breath and walked to her husband. "Remus, you stubborn jackass," she said with a small chuckle. "You are always trying to do the right thing. Keep me safe, but you have to understand that no matter what I will be there fighting by your side. No matter what you say to me. I'll be right there. Remus, we're a team. You and me. You know that all of this. The baby possibly being a lycanthrope. Voldemort. We've got to do this together."

Remus knew she was right. And all of this was going against all of his instincts, but he trusted this woman to know what was right. He knew that if even the slightest thing went wrong she would protect that child.

Remus let a small smile take form. She let him take her hands. "From what I understand you must compromise in a marriage."

"That's what my mum always told my dad before she got her way," Tonks said smiling cheekily at him.

Remus laughed. "Why don't we compromise?"

"I'm listening."

"Saturday night I will lock myself in the third bedroom," he started. "And we will have Molly come look after you just in case."

"So far, no argument."

"I won't say another word about you not going on the mission to extract Harry. I know where you stand and I know you can handle yourself. Plus Ron has come so far with his defensive magic. I trust him." Tonks smiled and rolled her eyes. "But once you've entered the second trimester you have to step back. Not completely you just have to stay home a little more. Then in the final months you're done."

"Remus—"

"I believe this is a good compromise. Beside once the baby starts to develop it will be harder for you to move. You won't be able to move as quickly. Please."

Tonks thought for a moment before speaking. He was right. Once the baby began to grow she wouldn't be swift and she'd probably fall over more than she already did. "Fine," she said. "I will step back as the pregnancy goes on. And will always be more careful than I usually am. Are we agreed?"

"Agreed," Remus said pulling her into his body and kissing the top of her head. He quickly let go of her and walked to the bookshelf. He picked up a very large book with the bookmark wedged inside. He came back over and sat down with Tonks on their small sofa.

Tonks smiled when she saw the book that he had picked up. Tonks cuddled into his side as she always did as he opened the book to where it had been marked.

"Chapter thirteen," he read. " _'_ _None but those who were most intimate with Alexey Alexandrovitch knew that, while on the surface the coldest and most reasonable of men, he had one weakness quite opposed to the general trend of his character._ _Alexey Alexandrovitch could not hear or see a child or woman crying without being moved_. _"_ "

Listening to Remus read this line she looked up at his face. These two sentences described Remus. Remus never showed just how effected he was by things when around people that didn't know him as Tonks did. But she had seen a completely different side of the man. The side he really only reserved for her to see. The side that she cherished more than anything else.

Tonks slowly started to drift off as Remus read the final line of the chapter.

"'' _She is bound to be unhappy, but I am not to blame, and so I cannot be unhappy.''_ "

Remus looked down at his sleeping wife. He loved her beyond what he thought he was capable of. She was the most wonderful and kind person he had ever met. She was strong and wise. She was everything to him. But now with a child what would become of her. What would become of the woman he had fallen so in love with? It wasn't even the question of what the baby would be. Or what would happen to Tonks during the pregnancy. It was how people were going to look at this woman and this child. He could take people seeing him as a monster, but not looking at his child and wife as though they are too. Once word got out that Nymphadora Tonks had married a werewolf she would be ostracized by the wizarding community. Even some of the most opening minded of wizards still thought of lycanthropes as monsters. Because so many of them were.

But he decided to put all of that from his mind for now and be there with his wife as long as he could. Because they may not have forever like they planned.

* * *

 _A/N: So sorry this one took so long. It's been about two weeks since I last updated with Tonks and Lupin having their wedding night. So I knew that a certain tiny Lupin was conceived very close to the wedding day and I liked the idea of Tonks' magic going haywire because of the baby. And I again borrowed a few words from Mr. Tolstoy. I think until I get through that verrrry long book I'm going to keep going with that storyline. I also wanted to give them a little more dimension within the loving relationship so there's that tiny argument about keeping Tonks and the baby safe._

 _Also guys I'm gonna be skipping around the Deathly Hallows to get to the important Remadora storylines as I did with Half Blood Prince. So I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and if you did please follow, favorite, and/or review. Also be sure to follow my social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	18. Realizations

After the wedding Tonks and Remus had decided to start readying the house to accommodate a baby. Tonks was now nearly a month into the pregnancy. Continuously taking her potion. Preparing for the baby was the only thing that kept Tonks' mind off of Mad-Eye's death. Off the fact that the Ministry had fallen. Her child was the most important thing to her right now.

Tonks had changed the color of the nursery walls at least a dozen times and it was driving Remus mad. At first she had chosen a simple lilac color, but since it's been olive green, sky blue, and light yellow. Currently Tonks had it changed to a navy blue color. Whenever she saw it the color reminded her of her husband 'Moony.' The night sky. She was fairly positive that the room would stay this color. Remus had started acquiring furniture. A crib and large arm chair currently lived in the room. Tonks had enchanted a plush crescent moon to transform with the cycle of the moon each month. She set it gently on the star studded bedding inside the crib.

They both knew decorating the nursery this early may have been a little earlier than needed, but they needed the distraction. And it was the perfect one. They quarreled about the colors and the decorations. Argued about the small shed on the back lawn that Remus insisted on staying in during his transformations once the child was born and turning the third bedroom into a guest room. Tonks was completely against banishing her husband from the house, but she also knew that she would have an infant in the house in a matter of months and Remus was thinking logically. Which infuriated her at times.

The nursery had almost been completed when Remus brought up that he didn't think it wise to bring his condition to the forefront in the child's room. This was the last straw for his wife. Her emotions took over. Her hair turned bright red as she started shouting at her husband.

"Why do you believe this child would be so ashamed of you," she shouted at him. Her eyes were darkening by the second.

"I'm not exactly something anyone would be proud of," he shouted back. He hardly ever rose his voice at Tonks, but it had been happening with more frequency the last two days. For some reason the two of them couldn't stop shouting.

"There are certainly times, Remus Lupin. There are certainly times when I'm not proud. Like now," she said in a low, but very harsh tone. "You're pigheaded and, at times, hopelessly delusional. You see one side of yourself and refuse to see anything else. Why on earth would I have waited two entire years for you? For you to come to your senses? There must be something good inside of you?"

Remus thought for a moment. She had waited for a long while for him to realize his feelings, but that didn't change facts. "I don't know why! You're young, beautiful, a talented witch, and have—"

"So much ahead of me," she finished for him. "You realize that's what you said to me after I begged you to tell me why you broke my heart the first time? You believe there's no possible way for anyone to be proud of knowing you? Yet there are Hogwarts students who favored _you_ as their teacher? Sirius treasured _your_ friendship. As did James. Arthur and the rest of the Order depend on _you_! There are many people who are proud to know you.

I thought that perhaps once we were married you'd have gotten passed this self-deprecating part of yourself, but it seems worse now. Do you think that I would have married you or waited around for over a year for you if I wasn't proud to be seen with you?" Tonks' eyes filled with tears. She wanted to blame her pregnancy hormones, but knew it was because Remus' words hurt her. "You think I would have stood on the streets of London kissing you in broad daylight if I wasn't proud to be with you? Remus, you are one of the most brilliant and kind wizards, people, I have ever met. I just wish you could see that. And I hope you do before you become a father." Tonks quickly left the room in sobs.

Remus stood motionless in the sitting room thinking about everything his wife had just said to him. How there were people who were proud to know him, but that simple fact couldn't change his mind about himself. He wished he could see what everyone else seemed to see in him. What his wife saw in him. His heart and mind had been through so much in the past weeks. He'd let himself feel completely. Or at least he thought he had. He thought marrying Tonks would help him see himself in a better light.

Then he thought about all of the anti-werewolf legislation that was being past. Thought how Greyback was working with Voldemort and most of the other werewolves in Great Britain must be too. What people were going to think after this war was over. If Voldemort won they would be dead anyways and if they were victorious the werewolf discrimination would only get worse. Which meant his family may very well get run out of Great Britain anyways. How could he do that to Tonks? To his child?

Remus walked through the lower level of his home and looked at the photographs that now rested on bookshelves. The photo of him and Tonks kissing on their wedding day. They both look immensely happy. Like nothing else in the world existed. That day was the happiest day of his life. And at first he thought that the day his child was born would be even happier. But now? His world was looking rather dark. The thought of his child coming into a world where his father was a werewolf. Where they would be forced to move from village to village because of the talk. Because people would quickly realize that a werewolf was living there. That could easily by why he was so against everything Tonks had done in the nursery.

The baby wouldn't be living there long if it did at all. They may have to leave the area because of Voldemort and his condition. They would be living their life like fugitives. The way Sirius had been forced to live his life. And that was no life. No way for an infant to live. He didn't want his family to be forced into his lifestyle. It wasn't fair to them at all.

Remus set the photograph of his wedding down and went to his father's study in the back of the house. He sat down at the desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. He didn't know what to write. He didn't know why he felt as though he needed to write her a letter. But he was feeling a pull to do so.

 _Dearest Dora,_

 _I don't know what to say to you. I don't know what I could say. We've been rowing more frequently and though I know that is a part of marriage I feel within myself it may be something far worse._

 _You are creating a home here for your family and I feel like my presence is going to ruin your plans. I look into the nursery, where our child is to live, and I see so much of who I am. What I am. You want our child to know who we both are. You want him to be proud of his parents, but I know that's impossible. There isn't anything inside of me to be proud of. I know you wish I didn't feel that way. However; I fear I always will._

 _You want what's best for your family. And that's no longer me. I know we've only been married a short while and, believe me Dora, it has been the happiest time of my life. We've had so many amazing days sitting reading books. Laughing together as you pulled me back into bed. But I fear that was short lived. I wanted it to be the rest of my life. I wanted to keep all of those promises to you. I made so many and I've hurt you so much. I know I will never be forgiven for what I'm doing to you. I don't expect you to._

 _After we were forced to flee from the Minister because of my condition I understood. I know you thought nothing of it. Just something you would get used to, but I don't want you to have to get used to it. Please be careful once the child is born. You still have no idea what the child may be. Though I hope he takes after his mum._

 _The child is going to be the most fortunate in the world. Having you for his mother. Sweet and kind. The most beautiful woman, inside and out. If the child is half as wonderful and thoughtful as you are, he'll be more than anyone else his age._

 _Dora, I want you to know that I truly love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. That's why I'm leaving. I care far too much about you to create chaos in your life. Chaos that you should never have to endure. I will always think of you. I will always love you more than my own life. Please, my dear, stay as safe as you possibly can. Keep our child safe. I know you will love him more than the world. And I will thinking of you both. You may chose not to tell him of his father, but if you do please inform that I do love him. I always will. But your lives are better this way. Please go to your parents immediately. I know you will be safe there._

 _I'm going to assist Harry in his quest from Dumbledore. Hopefully we will be able to find something to stop Voldemort before too many lose their lives._

 _I love you, my dear. Remember that._

 _All my love,_

 _Remus_

Remus read and reread the letter. He felt he needed to leave his wife so she could live her life without fear of him. He wrote the letter to try and make sense of his feelings and he had decided. He had to go. He walked around the house remembering the past weeks when he'd been the happiest in his life. The photos of their wedding. _Anna Karenina_ sitting on the coffee table. Book marked almost half way through. He was sure Tonks would finish it. Or she'd throw the book out.

He walked slowly upstairs. He looked into the room where he had spent his transformation the previous month. He recalled how Tonks had slept outside the door while Molly slept in their bed on top of the bedding. She had been there to keep watch on Tonks, in case of transformation. He saw scratches on the walls and with a flick of his wand repaired them. He looked into the nursery and imagined Tonks sitting there with her bright pink hair rocking a baby in her arms. She was so beautiful.

Remus closed the door to the nursery. If he looked much longer he wouldn't be able to do what he knew he had to. He walked down the hall and saw Tonks asleep on top of the bedding. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay there asleep. He walked in and slowly pulled the blanket over her body. She woke up slightly.

"Are you coming to bed," she asked sleepily. "Would you please come to bed?"

Remus didn't answer her. She had fallen back asleep quickly as she cuddled into the bed. Remus leaned down and kissed her head. He truly did love her more than anything. It was killing him knowing that he had to leave. He had to let her live a life of freedom, while she could. He stood above her watching her sleep for several minutes. He took the letter out of his pocket and set it on his pillow. He turned quickly and left the room.

He left the house and Disapparated from the front lawn. He had actually gone through with it. He had left his wife. And his child. But it's what was best. It had to be.

The next morning Tonks woke and noticed that Remus' side of the bed hadn't been slept in. She saw the letter and slowly opened it. She knew what it said. He was gone. She read it anyways. Instead of crying or feeling sad, she was furious. She set the letter on fire and let it burn a hole in her bedding. She threw objects around the room. It had been almost twenty minutes before she noticed the tears streaming down her face. She walked into the nursery and the moon pillow blasted apart.

She was going to honor is last request though. She threw her clothes into a trunk and Disapparated to her parents. When she showed up Ted was so scared he dropped his plate to the floor.

"Dora," he hollered before noticing that she was hysterical. "What's wrong my dear," he asked as Andromeda ran into the kitchen.

"He's gone," Tonks said through her tears.

"What happened," Andromeda said as she and her husband walked Tonks to the sofa. "Is he…?"

"He left, mum," Tonks said curling into her dad's side. "He wrote a letter saying it was best. It's what is best for him," she shouted and a picture frame shattered across the room. "He's a complete ass."

"My Dora," Ted said hugging her tightly.

Ted and Andromeda shared several looks. Trying to figure out what to say. Though they put on a good show at the wedding they had to admit that they weren't all the way pleased with their daughter's choice is a husband, but they didn't want to upset her. And voicing that now may only upset her more.

Tonks wiped away her tears and looked at her parents. "We had planned. We were readying the house for the baby. It may have been early or irresponsible considering this war and the Ministry, but it was helping us get through. But then we starting arguing. More and more. Everything upset him. And last night we were shouting and I woke up alone. Alone and pregnant. Not knowing where my husband is. He said he was off to help Harry, but I don't know where Harry is. He's putting himself in unnecessary danger. I want to hate him right now, mum. I so do. But I can't. I just can't," she said burying her face in her father's chest.

Neither of her parents said anything to her. They simply let her cry.

* * *

Was Harry right? Was he a coward for leaving his wife? It took everything in him to leave her. He knew it was what was best for her and the baby. He wondered around London the entire night. His cloak covering his face half hoping Death Eaters wouldn't find him. And half hoping they did. The longer he thought about what Harry had said to him the more it made sense. He thought about what James would say.

' _Remus, you once scolded my son for risking his life wondering around Hogwarts alone at night. Said I'd be disappointed in him. You know I hate that I left my son, but I left standing in front of him as Voldemort tried to kill him. I didn't run from the problem. You're a good man, Remus, one of the best. Don't be the person small minded wizards think you are because of your affliction. Don't be that person. Your wife, your child, and you don't deserve it. Be the man Sirius and I knew you are. You're the one that's making it through. Be strong enough to get through all of the hard times that will come your way. You know that girl loves you and doesn't care about any of it. She never has. You're better than this, Remus. We both know it.'_

He could hear James speaking to him. Even though James never knew Tonks. He would have loved her. Their mutual love of trouble. He thought about what would have happened if James were alive to meet his wife. They and Sirius probably would have messed with Remus at least once a day. The three of them together would be a deadly combination. Sirius. Tonks was Sirius' young cousin. He would be furious if he was here.

' _Remus, you dunce. You absolute moron. I saw the two of you together. You saying you regretted married her? What a load of rubbish. You've regretted a lot and we both know marrying that girl wasn't something you regret. But you, you constantly think you're doing the right thing. Well, sometimes you're not. Sometimes you're being foolish. You're being an ass. That's what you've been. You're one of my greatest friends. You always believed that people would leave because of your condition. There are people who never leave. Not by choice. Tonks? She's one of them, but you didn't give her a choice. You made it for her. Go back. I know you're scared. But once this war is over you're going to wish you didn't leave. You'll want to see that baby grow up. Go to Hogwarts. Don't deny yourself that.'_

Remus had sat down on the curb on the street head in his hands. He had tears streaming down his face thinking of his lost friends. What they would think of him. They had risked a lot for him. Expulsion. Their lives. If they had messed up the animagus spell they could have died. They left Hogwarts to be with him because they knew he needed them. He missed them dearly. They would think him a coward. Just as Harry did.

Should he go back? Would she let him come back? Let him in their child's life? He'd hurt her so many times. This time had to be the final straw. She had to actually hate him now. There was no way she didn't. So Remus sat there. Tears running down his face. He'd ruined his own life. Not on purpose. He was finally feeling completely. He felt the pain of not falling asleep next to the woman he loves. Not being able to see the birth of his child or watch him grow. He felt it all. And it was excruciating. He didn't know what to do next. What his next move should be. So he sat and watched the sun rise.

* * *

 _A/N: I wanted to write more in this chapter, but I literally couldn't stop crying while writing it. Plus, I had to keep going back in_ Deathly Hallows _to make sure my information was correct. I'm like kind of sorry for this chapter, but I'm also kind of not. I really wanted to write Remus leaving and I just sobbed through it. So there are only a few chapters left of the books that I'm going to write. Obviously Teddy stuff. But never fear. My headcanon says Tonks and Remus never died so there will be more after_ Deathly Hallows _._

 _So as always if you enjoyed this chapter please favorite, follow, review and maybe even tell your Harry Potter loving friends to give her a read. And don't forget to follow me on social media and be sure to ask for a follow back I love meeting new people. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	19. Returning Home

Tonks woke up the next morning in her childhood bed. She had hoped it all had been a horribly bad dream. She hoped she would wake up with Remus lying there next to her. His breath on her cheek. His long arm flopped over her body attempting to pull her into him. But she didn't. She walked downstairs to her parents speaking in hushed tones in the corner of the kitchen. She knew what they were discussing. She could sense something they wanted to tell her the previous night.

"Mum. Dad," she said as she sat down at the table. "What are you talking about?"

Andromeda looked at her husband. Neither of them wanted to tell her what they were speaking of. They were speaking of how they were slightly pleased that Remus had left. He wouldn't have the chance to hurt her physically now. She was safer this way. They believed that.

"Never mind," she said quickly. "You realize that I know what you're thinking? I don't care what you think of Remus. He's still the father of my child. And I still love him. No matter how much I'm trying not to. Do not say one word against him."

Tonks' parents looked to the floor. They both knew she was right, but they still weren't entirely sorry that he had left. They silently agreed to not voice their opinion of their son-in-law. It's what was best for their daughter. All they wanted was what was best for her.

Andromeda and Ted had been spending all day out in the garden. They were both making sure the protective charms on the land were holding up.

Tonks was sitting in her bedroom when she was startled with the pop of Apparation. She quickly reached for her wand believing it an intruder. Then she looked up and saw who was standing there. She let go of her wand and walked over to the person. Without thinking she reached up and smacked him across the face.

"How dare you come here," she said to him. "Remus Lupin, get out of here now!" Tears were running down her face. She couldn't help it. "I don't want to see you. I can't. Just leave. Please."

"Dora," Remus said taking a step back. "Please, listen."

"No," she said firmly. "Remus, you left in the middle of the night. You wrote a note and left me there. You were nothing but selfish. How can I trust you? How can I let you back? If I had only me to think about it may be easier, but it isn't just me. It's a child too. I have to think of him. And right now you're not what's best."

Remus turned from her not wanting her to see the tears rushing down his face. He thought of what he could possibly say to her. How could he convince her that he's not going anywhere? Then he turned around and showed her his tears. He never showed her this side of him.

"I'm a coward," he said quietly. Tonks silently nodded in agreement. "I know that. And I have no way to make it up to you. I could sit here and beg you for forgiveness. I could promise I'll never leave, but I've promised that so many times. And look what I did. I will say this. Nymphadora Tonks, I am more than sorry for what I've done to you. To you and the baby. I wish there was a stronger word than 'sorry' I could say. Tonks, my dear, I love you. I know that is probably not enough for you let me back, but I had to say it. Say it one last time to you."

Tonks saw how distraught her husband was. She could see it in his eyes that he was deeply sorry for his actions. And she was glad that he realized it quickly instead of leaving for months and they never got through this. And though she was incredibly angry with him all she wanted to do was fall into his arms and never leave. She wanted her husband back. She wanted their life together back. It had only been twenty-four hours, but it felt like a year.

"Remus, how do I know," she asked him. "How do I know that once the baby is born you're going to stay? That when something else comes up you're not going to leave?"

"You don't," he said to her. "Neither do I. I want to try." He saw Tonks take a very small step towards him. "I did see Harry," he said. "He called me a coward. And I was so mad. We got into a massive row. He shouted. I never wanted to disappoint Harry. But he made me think about James and Sirius. What they would think of me. How furious Sirius would be if he was here."

"I think if Sirius was here you wouldn't have run," Tonks said to him. "You're not a bad man, Remus. I know how you think. I know you better than anyone else ever could. You know how much I love you. How much I want you in my life. I wouldn't have put up with you for so long if I didn't." She took another small step towards him resulting in him taking one towards her.

"Dora," he said. "I'm so sorry I've caused you so much pain. That was never my intention. I never wanted any of this. For you to look at me with pain in your eyes. You're the most important thing that's ever come into my life."

Tonks took one more step closing the gap between them. "You stubborn old werewolf. You know all yesterday I tried my absolute hardest to hate you. I tried to think about the things about you that infuriate me, but as hard as I tried I couldn't. Even remembering how hurt I've been during our strange relationship. It honestly, made me love you more." She had put her hands on his chest. She hadn't noticed it, but Remus' hands were resting on her hips.

"I know my promises may not mean anything, but I do promise to stay with you. Through everything."

Tonks thought for a moment. She wanted to kiss him. To lie in bed with him. To talk about names for the baby. To joke. To read together. She wanted it all back.

"Remus Lupin," she started, "how can you be such a fool and yet still be the most caring man? I want you to come home. I want to have back what we did after our wedding. We were happy." She was crying again.

"Dora, we can get back there," he told her. "We can." He couldn't wait another moment. He cupped her face and kissed her. Tonks folded into his body. She wrapped her arms around his body and held on tightly. Remus removed his hands from her face and pulled her body closer to his. They didn't break the kiss for at least a minute. "Dora," he said catching his breath, "I'm done. Until the baby is born I'm not leaving your side."

"Remus, the Order," she rebutted. "You can't just stop."

"I can and I do," he told her. "It's only a few months. Believe me they don't need me out there. Not when I'd only be thinking of you the entire time. I'd be too distracted to be in the field. I'm yours."

Tonks didn't speak. She jumped up and kissed him again. "I love you, Remus," she said through tears. "Please come home."

"Let's go," he said quietly. "Right now," he said holding her against his body.

"I should tell my mum and dad I'm leaving," she told him.

"In that case I believe I'm going to head back now and wait for you," he said.

"Oh no you don't," she said gripping his wrist. "You said you weren't leaving my side. I'm holding you to that, Mr. Lupin."

"Alright, Mrs. Lupin," he said kissing her again. "Though I'm sure they had no problem hating me in the past day."

Tonks knew her parents weren't pleased with Remus at the moment. But she had a slight feeling that it was more than just him running out. The whispering felt like more than that.

"Alright, why don't I head down to tell them and you put my trunk together. I'll be right back," she said kissing him quickly and rushed downstairs.

Tonks walked out to the garden where her parents were working.

"Dora," Ted shouted. "Come give me a hand," he said waving her over.

"Mum. Dad," she said as she made her way over to them. "I'm going to head back to…I'm going head home."

"Are you sure," Andromeda asked her. "You don't think you should stay here a while longer?"

Tonks knew that admitting that she was headed back with Remus would be a little hard. She didn't know exactly how they were going to react. It had only been one day since Remus left and he figured out that he made a huge mistake. She may be making a mistake going back home with Remus, but she didn't care. She loved him and wanted to be with him. And she believed him. She knew that he wouldn't hurt her again. There was something about the look in his eye. Remus was her forever and she truly wasn't going to let her parents get in the way of that.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said. "Remus and I talked. Um, we're not perfect, but we've worked out the current problem."

"Dora, that's not a good idea," Ted said quickly. "Dora, this had to be the final time. Why are you staying with a man that hurts you?"

Tonks was boiling. Her hair turned red. "Because dad, I love him and he loves me. He's just has some of his own inner battles to handle. And I want to help him handle them. I have to. I hate seeing him like that."

"Nymphadora," Andromeda said sternly. "You need to think about this. He clearly does this rashly and given his condition that can't be safe for you or the baby. You have to think about that child first."

"I am," Tonks told her mother. "My child needs his father and there's nothing either of you can say to make me change my mind. And how dare you bring his condition into this conversation. He's more than careful. He wants a shed on the back lawn to keep himself locked in. Just to keep us safe. You know nothing about it. I can't believe you both would judge him on that. With people who judge you both every day. Mum, you were disowned because you married a muggle-born. Dad, you know why people judge you. Especially now. I'm leaving. I'm going back to my home with my husband. I don't want to leave here upset with you, but I will. Come by the house if you'd like to talk more on this." Tonks spun and walked back into the house and up to her bedroom.

Remus saw how upset she was and quickly ran to her. "What happened?"

"Nothing," she said wiping her tears. "Have you finished?"

"Yes," he said hugging her. "Are you sure you want to leave now?"

"I have to," she said giving him a weak smile. "Please. Let's just go."

Remus grabbed her trunk and hugged her to his side and with a loud crack they Disapparated from the Tonks' residence.

Once they were home Tonks went to put her things away. Remus followed her up the stairs. They walked into their bedroom and Tonks remembered everything that she had thrown before leaving the previous morning. Without thinking Remus cast a repairing spell from behind her. He didn't say anything. He knew that she had been very upset with him and understood why the picture frame containing one of their wedding photos had been broke and on the floor.

Remus kissed the side of her head and went to look at the nursery. He walked in and saw the plush moon blown to pieces throughout the room. That was what broke him. He collapsed to his knees. Tonks had loved that plush toy. She had enchanted it to change with the moon. And it had been destroyed. Looking at this he could see his shattered wife slowly breaking down. Tonks came into the room after remembering what she had done. She saw her husband kneeling on the ground grasping the insides of the toy.

"Why did you let me back," Remus asked her as she sat down next to him.

"Because I love you," she told him. "Because, honestly, there's nothing you could say to me that would make me want to leave you." Tonks took out her wand and repaired the plush moon. "I was so angry with you. I didn't want anything in this house that reminded me of you. But no matter how I tried everything reminds me of you. And I'm carrying _your_ child. Remus, you know this baby will be proud to have you as a father, right?"

"Dora," he started, "I don't know. Maybe spending every day with you will make me realize that. It still astounds me that you're proud to be married to me. I've made you an outcast. You and the baby."

Tonks grabbed his arm, put it around her shoulders and curled into his side. "Remus John Lupin, you are so much more than a grumpy old werewolf. You are brilliant. You're kind and thoughtful. You're annoyingly protective. You love so intensely and you don't even realize it. You're going to be an incredibly father. You're a decent husband. I mean there are things that I would change." Remus chuckled. "But overall you're my favorite man. And I'm so proud to be with you. People already look at my funny because I have weird hair and every time they see me I have a different eye color. We're both extremely abnormal. That's the best part about us. You said you wanted this baby to be just like me. Well, I'd love it if the baby was more like you. Though we will need to make sure he doesn't get into trouble at school. We don't need him taking after us in that way."

They both laughed as they sat there on the floor of the nursery. Somehow the anger and hurt of the past day melted away. Neither of them felt it anymore. Tonks picked up the plush moon and set it back in the crib. Remus took out his wand and stars that would light up when it got dark covered the ceiling. Instead of using a nightlight for the baby.

Remus walked over to his wife and took her waist gently resting his hands on her stomach. He didn't say anything to her. The two stood there staring down at the baby crib. Remus was picturing a tiny baby sleeping peacefully. The moon plush toy changing with the cycle of the moon. The stars on the ceiling shining brighter as the sky outside grew darker.

Tonks turned around and buried her face into his chest. They both knew that it was going to take time to get back what they had. Even though it wasn't that long ago. The two of them spent the day cleaning. Tonks had turned on some music and started singing and dancing around the house. Watching her made Remus laugh. She looked incredibly happy as she spun through the sitting room and hit her knee on the coffee table. She cursed and hopped on one leg directly into Remus' arms. He laughed and picked her up off the ground and spun her. They both collapsed on the sofa in a fit of laughter.

"What do you think of the name Eloise," Remus asked his giggling wife.

"For the baby," she asked. Remus nodded. "Honestly, as long as you never suggest something as ludicrous as 'Nymphadora.'"

"I love your name," he said with a smile pulling her onto his lap. Tonks touched the side of his face. Remus closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. Feeling her soft hand was the happiest he had been in days. "You are the most understanding woman I have ever met."

"Am I," she asked him resting her forehead on his.

"Not many women would put up with someone like me for as long as you have," he told her.

"That's true," Tonks said kissing him lightly. "It's only because I love you so much. I see there's much more to you than what you let people see. I have a sort of crazy idea."

"What would that be, my dear?"

"After this war is over. After we win this war. You should try to return to your post at Hogwarts," Tonks said pulling away and showing him a broad smile.

"If only that were possible," Remus said to her.

"I believe it will be," Tonks said as she wrapped her hands around his neck. "After this war so much will be possible. You just have to believe that. I know that's hard for you," she said with a sly smile.

"I guess I could try," he said kissing his wife's neck. "There are several other things I'd like to try as well," he said as he placed more kisses on his wife's neck and face.

"Remus," she said with a gleeful shriek as he lifted her up and placed her back on the sofa and laid on top of her. The two locked their lips together and didn't move for at least thirty minutes.

Later that night Remus was making dinner and was setting the table as Tonks came down the stairs. She stood in the doorway connecting the sitting room and the kitchen watching him from behind. She smiled watching him cooking their dinner by hand and not using his wand. She knew that it was going to be difficult trusting him fully again, but she also knew that she was always happiest when she was with him. Her parents may not understand. No one may understand, but she wasn't going to let the man get away from her so easily.

Tonks walked into the room and snuck up behind her husband. "I love you so much, Mr. Lupin."

Remus smiled as he peeled the potatoes. "I love you too, Mrs. Lupin."

Remus pulled her around so she was standing in front of him and he guided her hands to peel the potato he was holding. The two melted into each other so much that their heart beats synced and their breath was the same. With this Tonks knew she made the right decision to allow Remus back into her home, her life. Her child's life. All they had to do was make it through this war.

* * *

 _A/N: I know I already told you guys I wasn't going to kill them off, but I like ending chapters like this. It's dramatic. I wrote this all last night because I just couldn't stop. I hope you liked it. So I think there's gonna be 3 more chapters that take place during_ Deathly Hallows _before I start writing what life was like after the Battle of Hogwarts._

 _And as always be sure to favorite, follow, review, and if you REALLY liked it recommend to your Remadora loving friends. And follow me on social media because I like meeting new people. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO  
Taylor_


	20. Edward Tonks and Edward Lupin

It had been months since the war had started in full. Remus had been making sure the protective charms around their house were holding up almost every hour. He'd cast charms around the house to ensure baby safety as well. Ever since he had left and come back to Tonks he'd tried to be the model husband and father. He had made sure the nursery had everything a baby may need. He was also taking extra care of his wife making sure she didn't fall or injure herself. As her stomach grew so did her clumsiness.

Tonks was now waddling around the house. Her belly was sticking out far past being able to see her toes. She was very ready to not be pregnant anymore. She was very ready to meet her new little witch or wizard. She was not longer sleeping, but she was sure that was mainly because she had learned a while back that her father was living his life on the run. She was constantly worried about his whereabouts. She had heard nothing of his movements. Andromeda had been over to the Lupin house at least three times a week to ease her mind.

Luckily before Ted had to go into hiding the Tonks family had reconciled their differences and were getting along very well. Remus would always cook dinner when Andromeda was over to their house. They all felt themselves becoming a very close family. Andromeda would laugh with her daughter and son-in-law. They would have a pleasant time and briefly forget what they had come together to forget. But once they would turn on their muggle radios and heard Lee Jordan's voice speaking of who had been lost that day. Tonks would grip at Remus' robes and Andromeda preferred to sit in the arm chair alone holding her breath as the list went on. Every night they all would let out a breath of relief when Ted's name didn't come up.

"Dora," Tonks heard Remus calling from upstairs. She hurried up, or she tried to hurry up the stairs, to her husband.

"Remus," she shouted from the top of the stairs. He came racing out of their bedroom.

"Are you alright," he asked running over to her and helping her walk back into their bedroom.

"Yes, why did you make me walk up the stairs," Tonks asked him. "What do you need me for?"

"You could have stayed downstairs," he chuckled. "I was just going to ask if you wanted your nightly tea?"

Tonks looked at her husband with a look that would make anyone terrified to be in the room with her. "Remus Lupin, I am eight months pregnant. If you're going to ask if I want tea you come to me. Do you understand?"

"Understood, dear," he said kissing her cheek. "Would you like your tea?"

"Yes," she said curtly. "Also I would love some Bertie Bott's." Tonks has a dreamlike look on her face as she thought about the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"You're lucky I keep so many sweets here," Remus said kissing her once more.

"No, you're lucky," Tonks said quietly as Remus walked out. He laughed as he went to retrieve his wife's request. He, also, was fairly excited for her not to be pregnant any longer.

The next day Andromeda had Apparated over for dinner. Remus decided to make Molly Weasley's meat pies. They were Tonks' favorite and he hoped they would keep her mind off of her father. She was so close to Ted and it was killing her not knowing where he was. If he was doing alright. If he was with anyone. It was far harder than anything Remus could imagine. He knew Sirius could take care of himself when he was on the run, but Ted wasn't nearly as rugged as Sirius. Remus believed that Ted would have a difficult time running. He also believed that it would be better if he were to perish of natural causes while running through the forest then being found by a Snatcher.

The three of them laughed through dinner again. Tonks complained of pregnancy again wishing that the baby would come early. She was tired of not being able to walk normally and it taking twice as long to walk up the stairs. She hated drinking that potion twice a day. And she hated having to rely so much on Remus. She wanted to be able to do things on her own again.

After dinner Tonks went to turn on the radio as they did at night. After she heard Lee Jordan's voice speaking through the speakers. They heard nothing of Ted. However, there was a loud crack of Apparation revealing Arthur Weasley. Arthur gestured for Remus to come speak with him privately. He got up quietly rubbing his wife's back as he did so.

The two men walked into the study to have their conversation. "What's happened, Arthur," Remus asked as he closed the door.

"Remus, we've gotten word on Tonks' father," Arthur said to him. Remus knew exactly what had happened. "He was running with Dirk Creswell, Dean Thomas, and a couple of goblins. Snatchers captured Ted and Creswell. They didn't make it through."

Remus' heart sank. He hadn't become very close with Ted before he was forced to run from the Death Eaters, but he knew bringing this news to his wife was the worst thing he was ever going to do. Arthur hugged Remus hoping that would calm him slightly.

"We thought we'd let you inform Tonks and Andromeda. Please tell her Molly and I are here if you need anything. Also, Lee Jordan needs someone to come talk on _Potterwatch_ tomorrow. The rest of The Order is on duty." Remus nodded agreeing with him. Arthur gave him one last hug and Disapparated from the home.

Remus took a few breaths before walking back out into the sitting room. He saw the look on his wife's face as he walked back out. She knew. He walked over and held her as tightly as he possible could. Andromeda had been upstairs looking at the nursery. She thought it was cute emulating the night sky.

"Mum," Tonks said through her tears.

Andromeda's knees gave out and she fell to the floor. Remus rushed over to assist her to the sofa. He let Tonks and her mother cry into each other while he sat rubbing Tonks' back. Hoping it was giving her even a little comfort. He felt her hand come back and grip his thigh. Like she needed something to anchor herself there. The women stayed like that for over an hour. Remus brewed some tea and retrieved anything either of them needed.

It was well after midnight when Andromeda insisted she leave for the night. Remus wouldn't hear of such a thing. He brought her upstairs and had her set up in the third bedroom. They had turned it into a guest room after Remus won the argument of putting a transformation shed on the back lawn.

Remus then went back and helped his wife to their bedroom. He knew no one in the house was going to get any sleep that night. Tonks curled, as much as she could, into Remus' side and cried.

Remus was running his hand through her soft brown hair. "Do you need anything," he asked in a soft voice. Tonks said nothing, but shook her head telling him she didn't. "Dora, I've been asked to head to _Potterwatch_ tomorrow. Just briefly. Won't be but an hour," he told her.

"Why you," Tonks asked through her tears.

"The rest of The Order is on duty. Arthur asked when he was here," he told her. "I will send a Patronas telling him I can't if you don't want me to go. You're my priority."

"No, no," Tonks said wiping her face. "Go. I know it will mean something to you to help out. You've been cooped up here with your pregnant wife for eight months. Get out," she said forcing herself to laugh.

"Only if you're sure," he said and she just nodded. "I know we haven't settled on a name for this little one," he said placing his hand on her stomach. "I also know you want to honor someone important to us." She nodded again. "I really would love to name him Edward."

These words made Tonks start crying again. She gripped Remus' pajamas and buried her face in his chest. He didn't try to further the conversation. There was no point. He knew she wasn't going to argue with him on this. Remus had done so much for her in the past eight months and this was one more thing he was doing for her.

Somehow Remus making this suggestion eased Tonks and she was able to fall asleep resting on his chest. The next several weeks were going to be so hard for them. He didn't know what was going to happen to them. But he knew he was going to help his wife through it. His mother-in-law through it.

Three weeks had past. Andromeda was spending more time at the Lupin house. Tonks was happy that she was spending so much time with her mother. Andromeda kept giving her daughter mothering advice and Tonks had to keep reminding her that the baby hadn't been born yet. As made obvious by her large stomach. They spent much time talking about Ted and what a good father he had been.

Late one night Tonks was having a very hard time sleeping. She hadn't been sleeping much in the last months and since he father passed it had gotten worse, but that night she was feeling sick. Remus woke up concerned for her well-being. She was moaning as though she were in pain.

"Dora," he said placing his hand gently on her stomach. "What's wrong dear?"

Tonks didn't say anything. After feeling Remus' touch she knew. This was it. "Remus," she said clutching his wrist. "Get my mother." With that Remus knew and jumped to retrieve Andromeda from the guest room.

Andromeda got her daughter downstairs to where they had prepared for Tonks to have the baby. Remus had sent a patronas to Molly and she Apparated over as quickly as she could. Tonks still wasn't in much pain, but Andromeda assured her daughter that would come to an end quickly.

And she was right. Her labor was coming along very quickly. Before she knew it she was screaming and blaming Remus for everything. She was digging her fingernails into his forearm.

"Why did you do this to me," she shouted at Remus pulling him by his arm so he was standing directly over her. Remus gave Andromeda a look hoping that she would have something to make this easier on Tonks and his mother-in-law simply shook her head. There was no magical way to get her through the delivery faster or in less pain.

Molly was bringing what was needed every few minutes to Andromeda who was ready for the baby to arrive.

"Dora, dear," Andromeda told her. "You're coming up to the worst of it, but it will be over soon. You can do this."

Tonks start shaking her head. She had faced Death Eaters and crazy wizards, but she was sure she wasn't going to make it through child birth. She had been waiting for weeks to not be pregnant any longer, but now she would willing be pregnant for the rest of her life if she didn't have to go through this pain.

Remus looked at his wife lying there in unbelievable pain. She was sweating and crying. Her pink hair was turning different colors by the second. Even her facial features were going a little haywire as she got closer to giving birth.

Tonks pulled Remus down to her level. "Remus, I can't do this," she told him. "I can't."

Remus chuckled. "Sweetheart, you've endured so much. You are the strongest woman I have ever known. You're so close and it'll be over. And we'll have him."

Tonks kept repeating 'no' to him as he talked to her.

"Dora," she heard her mother say. "It's time."

Tonks cried 'no' as her mother and Molly readied themselves for the birth.

"Tonks," Molly said, "just a little bit more. You can do this."

Andromeda coached her daughter through the delivery and a mere ten minutes later Tonks was holding her baby boy. She was still crying, but this time was happy tears.

"He looks so like his father," Tonks said mooning over her son. Remus had gotten on the table with her and was holding her tightly around the shoulders.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to meet him," Remus said lightly stroking the boy's forehead. "And you're wrong. He's all you, my dear." Neither said anything they simply looked at each other. "I love you, Dora."

"I love you too, Remus," she said kissing him. "Thank you for coming back and being there through everything."

Andromeda and Molly slowly backed out of the room. "He really is beautiful," Molly said to the other woman.

"He is," Andromeda said. "I simply wish Ted were here to meet him. He spoke so much of his grandchild. He had so many plans to spend so much time with him. He was so looking forward to being a grandfather. Breaks my heart that he won't meet him."

Molly quickly hugged Andromeda. "Tonks and Remus won't let the baby not know everything about his grandfather. Tell him of how Ted fought for the good of the wizarding world. How brave he was and how he died with honor."

"Thank you, Molly," Andromeda said.

Remus walked out into the sitting room. The women quickly noticed him standing there awkwardly. "What is it, Remus? Is everything alright," Molly quickly asked.

"Yes," he said quickly. "Tonks wants to talk to you, Andromeda," he said.

"I'll make a pot of tea," Molly said and raced to the kitchen.

The other two went back to where Tonks was still lying down. "Mum," she said motioning her head asking if she wanted to hold the baby. Andromeda teared up and took the baby in her arms. "Mum, we wanted to talk to you about the baby."

Andromeda nodded her head telling them to go on. "Well," Remus started, "first, we discussed it and we decided, a few weeks ago actually, that we're going to call him Edward in honor of your husband." Andromeda started crying harder.

"Mum, is that okay," Tonks asked only earning a nod from her mother. Andromeda was so very happy that her daughter and son-in-law wanted to honor her late husband in this way. "Remus," Tonks whispered, "I think I need some rest."

"I'll make sure Teddy is well taken care of," Andromeda said and walked out of the room and set Teddy down in his bassinet.

"Dora," Remus said quietly. "Before we go upstairs I want to ask you something." Tonks yawned and nodded her head. "I want to make Harry Teddy's godfather." Tonks smiled and kissed her husband.

"I think that is a brilliant idea," she said. "Do you know where he might be?"

"Molly mentioned something about Bill having contact with him," he said. "Probably there."

"Go," she told him. "Just don't go for long. From what I understand this parenting thing is going to be a two person job."

"I won't be more than an hour," he said kissing her forehead and helping her to her feet. He quickly helped her up the stairs and into their bed. "Are you sure you don't need me here," he asked bringing her several more blankets.

"I'm sure," she said. "Mum and Molly are here. Go."

"Alright," Remus said taking his traveling cloak out of the closet. "I promise I'll be back very soon." He kissed her gently. "I love you."

"I love you too," Tonks said laughing. "Now go before you drive me mad." Remus kissed her and Disapparated from the room. This caused Molly to run up the stairs.

"What was that," she asked rushing into the bedroom.

"Remus," Tonks said. "He's gone to announce the birth," she said with a chuckle. "Thank you for being here. Remus and I, both, greatly appreciate it."

"Of course, dearie," Molly said sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I've always seen you as another one of my own. If you ever need anything you know you can call on Arthur or myself." Tonks reached out pulling Molly into a hug. She loved her mother more than anything, but Andromeda didn't know what she was going through with the war and the Order. Not being able to go out and help her friends fight. To keep people safe. She had to sit back and hear so much second hand. It was killing her knowing that there was nothing she could do. But when she saw Teddy's little face looking up at her she knew her job was to take care of him.

Andromeda then walked into the bedroom holding the sleeping baby with his bassinet floating behind her. "I've cleaned downstairs," she said as she set up the baby in his bassinet. "Dora, he's so beautiful. His hair has been slowly changing all morning. He so takes after you."

"Maybe in morphing, but he looks so like Remus," Tonks said stroking his face with her index finger. "I need some rest. Would you both mind?"

"Sure," both the women responded. "I'll take Teddy—"

"No," Tonks said interrupting her mother. "He's asleep. We'll be fine."

Andromeda kissed her daughter's head and she and Molly left the room closing the door slightly. After the women had left Tonks got up and went over to her new son.

"Hello, Teddy," she said in a quiet soothing tone. "I'm mummy. Let me tell you this, you are the best surprise I've ever gotten. You have been born in a hard time for witches and wizards, but after it's all through you'll be growing up without any worries. I'm so happy for you for that. And you'll have all of these amazing people around you. Grannie, and Auntie Molly and Uncle Arthur. Hopefully you'll soon meet your godfather Harry Potter. Now Harry is a very famous wizard, but for all great reasons. You're sure to love him just as much as mummy and daddy do. But all of these people will love you almost as much as mummy and daddy. Now, you're dad. He can be difficult. And stubborn. And very hard to handle. But you'll learn to love him. I promise. And he loves you very much. Oh and Teddy Remus Lupin, you are named after the two most important men that have ever come through my life. Your dad, who has been through so much in his life and it has all made him a better man. And your granddad. He was so looking forward to meeting you, but he didn't get the chance. When you're a little older I'll tell you all about him. I want you to know who he was. I love you so much, Teddy. I will never leave you." She leaned over the bassinet and kissed his forehead very gently.

Tonks quickly fell asleep after moving the bassinet closer to her bed. She didn't want to be far from her son. If anything happened she needed to be right next to her so she could protect him.

Downstairs Molly and Andromeda were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea and eating biscuits. They heard a pop and Remus stood before them.

"How's she doing," he asked quickly.

"They're both upstairs sleeping," Molly told him.

"And his hair keeps turning," Andromeda said to him.

"Good," he said. "I figure if he's showing signs of metamorphmagus he won't show any of lycanthropy. It had to be one or the other right?"

"We can only hope," Molly told him.

"Thank you both for being here," Remus said picking up a biscuit and taking a couple bites. "We both truly appreciate it. I'll go up and check on them," he said and quickly went upstairs and into his bedroom. He saw Tonks sleeping with one hand in the bassinet and the other clutching her wand. "Already an over protective mum," Remus said quietly to himself chuckling. He walked over and saw his newborn son awake with his mother's hand resting on his tummy. "Well Teddy, I was going to take you on a little tour to your room, but I fear if I tried to remove you from your mother's grasp both of us would go flying across the room struck with a stunning spell."

Remus kneeled down next to the bassinet and reached into it and adjusted his blanket. "I want to talk to you, son," he said quietly not wanting to wake his exhausted wife. "You're going to hear many bad things about your father. And there will be days where you won't see much of me. I want you to know that I'll always come back to you. You and your mum mean everything to me. I'm sure you and mum have already had a nice talk while I was away telling our friends that you had arrived and you and mum were doing great. Everyone wants photos of you. Son, I so love you. I want you to know that whatever you may hear of me or what I am it's not entirely true. It depends on the person. Your mum always tells me that I'm not like the others and I hope that you agree with her. Your mum and I have had a very hard time trying to make our marriage work. I did some very regrettable things to your mother. And you may hear of them and it may affect your opinion of me. Know that I love her more than I ever knew I could love someone. Then you came along. I'm so excited to see you grow." Just as Tonks had Remus leaned over the side of bassinet and kissed his son gently on the forehead.

Tonks had been awake to hear most of what Remus had said. "You know he'll love you no matter what," she said quietly. "You're his dad. As long as you love him, he'll love you."

Remus smiled and walked around to sit on the bed next to her. "Do you need anything," he asked slowly reaching for her wand to put it on the bedside table.

"Yes," she said very seriously. "I need the father of my child to come lie with me. You were only gone for an hour, but I missed you," she said taking his hand and tugging him towards her.

Remus smiled and went to crawl into bed with her. "How are you feeling," he asked her.

"I'm doing well," Tonks told him. "You saw Harry?"

"Yes," he said. "He agreed to be Teddy's godfather. They were all so happy to hear. Dora, thank you so much for Teddy. I was so concerned with fathering a child, but looking at him. I had nothing to worry about. He's absolutely perfect."

"He is, isn't he," she said cuddling into Remus side. "If anyone ever tris to hurt him I won't even pause before I—"

"Careful, Nymphadora," Remus said warningly.

"What," she said. "I shall just protect him with everything I have."

Remus laughed and pulled her closer to him. "We should get some sleep. Your mother and Molly aren't going to stay here forever to let us rest before we're hit fully with parenthood."

"I suppose you're right," Tonks said slowly closing her eyes. "Thank you for staying with me."

Remus sighed. There were still parts of his wife that feared he'd leave her again. "Always," he said to her as they both drifted off to sleep.

The last two months had been very emotional for the Lupins. Tonks had lost her father and had her son. Her emotions didn't know where to land, but she felt completely safe with Remus' arms around her and her son sleeping nearby. This was the first time she'd been able to truly sleep in weeks. She didn't know what lied ahead of them or how long this was to go on. If Harry was at all close to completing Dumbledore's quest. But for now she was happy with her family together under the same roof.

* * *

 _A/N: So I was gonna make this two chapters, but halfway through I decided to just combine the two storylines because they happened so close together. So now all that's left is the Battle of Hogwarts then I will write about their lives after the war is won. I'm excited to write about after the war is over and explore Remadora raising Teddy._

 _As always be sure to favorite, follow, review, and recommend to all your Remadora loving friends. Also follow me on social media and be sure to ask for a follow back I'd love to meet some new people. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	21. The Battle of Hogwarts

"Nymphadora Tonks, you will not leave this house," Andromeda shouted as her daughter raced to put on her boots and say goodbye to her month old son.

"Mum," Tonks said stopping and taking her mother's hands. "I'll be fine. I cannot let Remus fight this alone. I need to be there with him."

"Dora," Andromeda said, "think about your son."

"I am," she said. "One more on our side will help us win the war. That means a better life for Teddy. I won't abandon him. Neither will Remus. We will be back. Please just care for our son until we get back," Tonks said hugging her mother. "Please."

"Dora," Andromeda said on the verge of tears. "Just come back. At any and all cost."

"I will. We both will," Tonks said hugging her mother. She walked over to the little boy barely a month old. "Hey, you," she said picking up her son. "Mummy has to go out for a little while and take care of some stuff with daddy. We will see you soon. I love you so much, my dear Teddy." She kissed the boy's head and set him down. With wand in hand Tonks Disapparated from the house.

Once at Hogwarts she went in search for her husband. By the time Tonks had found him Remus was in a heated battle with Dolohov. She flew around the corner and shot a stunning spell hitting Dolohov directly in the chest. Remus turned around and saw his wife standing there wand in attack position.

"Dora," he said racing over to her. "What on earth are you doing here? Where's Teddy? Why aren't you with him?"

Tonks didn't answer his questions. She leaped onto him and kissed him as hard as she could. "I couldn't let you do this alone. He's with my mother, safe. Because I need to be here. I've stayed back long enough."

"DORA," Remus shouted and grabbed her waist whipping her around the corner out of the way of a killing curse. "This is why I didn't want you here. You're putting yourself at risk and you can't do that with Teddy."

"And you can," Tonks screamed at him. "I have to do my duty, Remus!"

"You have a duty to our son!"

"As do you!" she shouted. "Remus," she yelled pulling him out of Dolohov's eye line. "We'll get through this together. Like we have everything else. You're not doing this without me, Remus Lupin. Don't even try."

"Then let's finish this and get back to our son then," Remus said kissing her quickly and they walked back out in the line of fire sending stunning spells at any Death Eater they could see.

They rounded a corner still sending stunning spells in every direction. Dolohov was standing there ready to attack. Remus rose his wand and reached behind him to make sure his wife was standing there with him. He flashed back to that night trailing this same Death Eater. They fought together then as well. Remus kept seeing Tonks falling stiffly to the ground. Before he could get his spell cast he saw the flash of green light coming towards him. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion so when Remus saw the light bounce backward after hitting a shield charm it seemed like his mind was playing a trick on him.

"You're not getting away from me that easily, Lupin," Tonks said with a small smile as she turned back around and went back to battle.

Remus looked back to Dolohov, who looked surprised that Remus was still standing, and saw Professor Flitwick behind him who shot a stunning spell at Dolohov making him fly back into the brick wall of Hogwarts. As the man fell to the floor Remus knew he had been killed.

The battle drew on. Remus and Tonks never leaving each other's sides. Just as they had promised. Between the two of them they had taken down many Death Eaters as they had made their way through the castle. They had made it to passed the classrooms and were running through the battlements. Chasing after them was Bellatrix Lestrange with a menacing smile on her face, as always.

"Dear Auntie is here for you little Nymphadora," she said as she started sending shots at Tonks. Tonks and Remus both sent up shield charms each time. Bellatrix was beginning to get angry. Two more Death Eaters came into the area. Remus and Tonks were forced to take their eyes off of her for a moment to stun the other Death Eaters. And Bellatrix saw their vulnerability. She shot a killing curse from her wand aimed directly at Tonks' chest. She almost became giddy with excitement of the thought of killing her darling sister's half-blood freak of an offspring.

Remus had seen Bellatrix raise her wand and grabbed Tonks' hand and pulled her to his left making both of them fall from the battlements. They were both sure they would be dead by the end of the drop.

When they hit the ground and were able to stand they looked up to see Kingsley standing there wand pointed directly at them. Remus gave a grateful smile before they both ran as to not be sitting targets. Tonks picked up her wand and raced after Remus quickly catching hold of his hand. Not wanting to lose her anchor.

Voldemort's voice rang in their ears informing them they needed to surrender Harry. That he had one hour to do so. Suddenly they heard the fighting stop and people were leaving the castle. They looked up and saw Death Eaters beginning to retreat from the castle. Kingsley looked down to them to ensure they were safe. The man above suggested they make their way to the Great Hall. They and Arthur Weasley headed there.

They walked in and saw the devastation that had come through their side. Students were lying there lifeless. It was breaking Tonks' heart and she thought of her sweet innocent baby boy at her mother's. She wanted nothing more than to hold him and kiss his soft head. Though she was grateful that she was standing there holding Remus' hand, alive. She stopped walking tugging on Remus' hand. He turned to her and she quickly wrapped her arms around his body needing to be comforted by her husband.

Molly came running over to the embraced couple. "So glad to see you both," she hugging them. "Have you seen Fred or Percy?" Tonks and Remus shook their heads. "No one has. I'm very worried."

Molly, Tonks, and Remus walked over to the Weasley family standing together all of them trying to remember where they had last seen the boys. Suddenly Molly saw Percy walking into the Great Hall. He looked more drained than anyone else in the hall. Molly shrieked and ran over to her son. A son she had thought for years that she had lost. She kissed his face before really looking at him. She then noticed his tears.

"Percy, what's happened," she asked him.

Percy didn't answer her he turned around to see to Neville and Professor Trelawney carrying someone's body. Molly looked over Percy's shoulder and saw a head of fiery red hair. She fell to her knees. She was in absolute shock. Tonks noticed first and ran to her falling to the floor next to her and seeing Neville and Professor Trelawney carrying Fred's lifeless body.

Arthur and Remus rushed over to help and move his body to a cot near the end of the hall. George fell over his twins' body and sobbed into his chest.

"What happened," Remus asked.

"Explosion upstairs," Percy told him. "He was hit debris. Wasn't a curse."

"There's slight comfort in that," Remus said quietly as Tonks folded into his arms.

"Not really," Tonks said to him.

The group stood there all in tears. Molly still gripping her son's body and George sobbing into his chest. Bill was holding Fleur up, barely. He looked as though he was in complete shock. Like he hadn't realized what was happening. He was hoping it wasn't happening. Charlie was sitting on the floor near Fred's head with his own in his hands.

This was all feeling like a horribly terrifying nightmare. They all stood around crying and holding onto each other. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had walked in and saw Fred's body. Hermione fell into Harry as Ron fell to the floor to hug Fred's body. Once Hermione was able to stand on her own Harry saw Remus and Tonks standing there. Hermione ran to hug Tonks and Harry went over to Remus to make sure his eyes weren't playing some sort of trick on him.

Arthur had kneeled down and began rubbing Molly's back trying to be of some comfort even though he was feeling completely empty seeing his son lying there. He couldn't believe that his son had been killed during this war. He knew there was going to be causalities, but his was too much for him to handle. None of them could actually handle seeing Fred lying there.

The hour was almost up and they all sat in the Great Hall waiting for the battle to begin again. Tonks was resting with Remus on the floor. He held her safely in his arms. He knew that their fight wasn't over. There was still a risk of them not making it home to their child.

"Remus," Tonks asked. "Where's Harry gone?"

No one knew. They had asked around to see if anyone had seen him and no one had. Not even Ron or Hermione.

Then they all heard a large group of people marching towards the castle. They all raced out the large doors of Hogwarts and saw Voldemort leading the Death Eaters back. Tonks and Bellatrix locked eyes with each other. Remus saw this and grabbed Tonks' waist ready to get her out of the line of fire if needed. He knew if only one of them could return to their son, it would be her.

Once Voldemort had announced that Harry had died, Tonks almost collapsed. But her aunt was still watching her and she would not show her aunt any sort of weakness. Then suddenly Neville was speaking to the entire crowd. It was incredible watching the young man speak. Remus had only ever known him as a wizard who could barely cast a simple spell. A kid that always felt awkward. As though he didn't belong, especially in his own house. But Remus was witnessing him show their world why he had been sorted into Gryffindor all those years ago.

And then the fighting began again. Tonks and Remus fighting together making sure they could always feel each other no matter what had happened. Bellatrix had lost sight of her darling niece, but Tonks always knew exactly where she was just in case. Remus was casting stunning spells at an alarming rate sending many Death Eaters flying back into the brick walls of the castle. Tonks looked over to where she had last seen her aunt and saw Molly defeat her. She celebrated silently for less than a second before returning to her own duel.

Voldemort had come into the Great Hall and once Harry had shown himself the entire hall stood completely still. Tonks reached for Remus' hand gripping him as tightly as she could. They looked to each other. They both knew what was coming.

Harry and Voldemort circled each other as Voldemort shouted that Harry was a coward and was eagerly looking for someone to come and save him. As Harry insisted that he was to do this alone. That it was between him and Voldemort and no one was to interfere. Harry explained why Voldemort's wand still wasn't serving him properly. The two shot off their spells. The room held its breath together. They all saw it. The spell was beginning to rebound towards Voldemort. And then it was over. Voldemort was lying on the floor of the Great Hall. Dead.

It took a moment for it to register with everyone in the hall. Death Eaters began to flee while the rest erupted in cheers. Tonks jumped onto Remus and kissed him with more passion than she had in weeks. Remus held her in place for a long while.

Finally he set her back on her feet. "It's over," he said with a smile plastered across his face. "We won."

"It's over," Tonks repeated. "Harry!"

Tonks ran to hug the young man. She hadn't seen him in months and wanted to talk to him. "As soon as you'd like we want you for dinner so you can meet your godson," she told him.

"Definitely," Harry told her. "Soon. I promise you. Very soon," he said and walked back to Ron and Hermione.

Molly ran over and hugged both Tonks and Remus and insisted that the two of them were to return home immediately. They were not to help with reparations or the dead. They needed to see their son. Remus tried to argue with her, but he soon realized that it was a useless battle.

The couple spoke with the Order and other teachers for a while longer. Then they received the look from Molly informing them it was time to go home.

On their way out of the Great Hall and back to Hogsmeade so they could Apparate they were stopped by Professor McGonagall. She wanted to have a word with Remus.

"Remus," she started, "it looks as though I will be made Headmistress of Hogwarts. And once we are up and running again I would like for you to resume your post at the school. You were the student's favorite and very good at your job. Please consider my offer."

Tonks' face lit up. She knew that Remus had missed teaching and that he had truly enjoyed working with the kids. "Remus, you should do it. You'll regret it if you don't."

"Minerva," Remus started, "I would be delighted. Also if there's anything either of us can do to help get the school back up please contact us."

"I will," Professor McGonagall said. "Now as I understand you have a baby you need to return to. You should do so. Quickly."

The couple smiled and walked out of the Great Hall. They walked out of the castle into the bright sunlight of morning. The air felt cleaner and smelled better than it had in a long time. There wasn't a threat any longer. They weren't overcome by the possibility of Voldemort returning. They walked hand in hand back to Hogsmeade. Tonks was making jokes and they were laughing. Speaking of what they were looking forward to most of parenthood. They were both very ready to see Teddy again. As soon as they were off the grounds of Hogwarts Remus embraced Tonks and they Disapparated together back to Andromeda's.

Andromeda was trying to sooth a crying Teddy Lupin. She was sure he was sensing something horrible had happened to his parents. He hadn't gone this long without one of them sense he'd been born. She walked around the house looking out each window hoping to see her daughter or son-in-law Apparating onto the lawn.

"Oh darling, Teddy, mummy and daddy will be back really soon," she told the baby. "I hope," she whispered as she looked out the front window. He knew something and Andromeda was completely sure of it. Her daughter had been lost, as was Remus. She sat down in the chair across from the front window. Though she was almost convinced that she had lost her children she stared out of the window with one last sliver of hope.

Andromeda had sat staring out the window with Teddy crying in her arms for no more than thirty second before she heard the crack of Apparation and saw her daughter smiling in her husband's arms. Andromeda wanted to jump, to scream, to run out there and hug them, but she was still holding Teddy. So she stood and opened the front door.

"Dora," she shrieked through rushing tears. Tonks ran to her mother and hugged her. "I was so worried. Teddy hasn't stopped crying since you left."

"Teddy, dear," Tonks said taking her son from her mother. "Mummy told you she'd be back soon." Almost instantly Teddy stopped crying at the sound his mother's voice.

Andromeda was now latched onto Remus telling him how happy she was that he was alright. "Is it over," she asked him.

"Yes," he said happily. "Harry's defeated Voldemort once and for all. It will take time to reestablish the Ministry and rebuild Hogwarts. But we have that now. Thank you for caring for Teddy while we were there."

"Always, Remus," she told him. "But please don't you two ever leave to fight a war together again."

"We promise," Remus said as Andromeda hugged him again.

Tonks walked over to her husband and handed off their son to him. Remus looked down at him and smiled. He was so happy to be back with him. After fighting all night Remus could feel exhaustion hitting him. All he wanted to do was return to his home with Tonks and Teddy and rest. The family went back into the house to gather Tonks' and Teddy's things before heading back to their home.

They had returned home that night and Teddy quickly fell asleep after being fed by his mother. Tonks laid him in his bassinet next to their bed. This was the first time she felt safe enough to not have her wand in her hand as she fell asleep. Or have her hand inside the bassinet during the night. Remus, however; was still feeling the anxiety of war. He knew it would be quite a while before his mind didn't race every moment of the day.

Tonks was fast asleep almost as soon as she laid down on the bed that night. Remus lied there watching his wife breathing. He came so close to losing her several times the previous night. As he watched her sleep he heard Teddy begin to fuss. Tonks stirred slightly hearing her son.

"I got him," Remus said sliding out of bed. He walked over to his fussing son and slowly picked him up. "What's wrong, little guy?"

"Does he need to be fed," Tonks asked half asleep from the bed.

"No," Remus said. "I've got this one. You sleep." Tonks rolled over and fell back to sleep.

Remus walked out of the room with his son in his arms. He walked into the nursery and saw the moon plush toy. It was almost full. Remus knew that he had about a week before the full moon was there. He hadn't felt any effects of the cycle yet. Teddy had been born before the full moon in April and hadn't shown signs of the infection or transformation. He could rest easily knowing for sure that he hadn't passed on his condition.

Remus walked out of the house into the night. It was unusually warm for May. Though he made sure Teddy was covered up well because if Tonks had caught him without Remus would have been a dead man. He walked around the lawn for a while before he stopped in front of the transformation shed. He looked down at his son, who was still awake.

"Mummy and I are sorry we left you for so long," he told him. "We won't ever do that again. You'll learn why we had to. But now you get to grow up without any fears. We are going to make sure you have everything you need. You, my son, are more important to your mum and me than anything we could have ever imagined. I love you," Remus said and softly kissed the boy's forehead.

"Remus," he heard from behind him. Then he felt his wife's soft hands on his waist. "Come to bed."

"We were just looking at the moon," he told her. "Can you believe that it's all over?"

"Not really," she said. "I woke up from a nightmare of Harry being killed by Voldemort and all of us were taken out almost instantly. But when I look at this little boy's face I remember that we won. He's the most perfect baby boy in the world," she said tickling her son's tummy. "Please come back to bed. Neither of us have slept soundly in months. And as long as this one stays quiet we should be able to tonight."

"Alright," he said as he stared at his son. Tonks started back towards the house. "Dora," he called making her turn around. "When you saved me against Dolohov I was so mad that you had come to the battle. Seeing you there I was sure I was going to lose you. That Teddy was going to lose you."

"Remus," she said quietly.

"But you're the reason I'm still here," he continued. "Thank you for saving my life."

"Well, my husband, if you hadn't made us jump off the battlements my aunt would have killed me," she chuckled. "We've saved each other so many times since we've met. And you save me every single day. And, Remus, I love you, but can we please go back to bed."

"Of course," he said leaning down to kiss her. "I love you, my Dora."

Tonks walked back into the house leaving Remus standing alone staring up at the sky with Teddy in his arms. Everything was so calm as he stood staring at the sky. His mind, his son, his world. He walked back to his bedroom and laid his sleepy son down in his bassinet. Remus stood over the bassinet and watched Teddy slowly fall asleep. Tonks wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder. Remus pulled her around so he could hold her.

The two stood there wrapped in each other's arms staring at their sleeping son. They both knew that raising a wizard son wasn't going to be at all easy, but they were ecstatic that they were going to have the chance to.

* * *

 _A/N: I loved writing this battle from Remadora's perspective. And I'm overly excited to start writing their lives after the Battle of Hogwarts. And I know on Instagram I made it seem like I wasn't going to kill Fred and at first I had written it so he lived. Then I decided that I needed something more dramatic to happen. It couldn't be all good. Something bad had to happen. Now don't get me wrong I'm still in actual denial of Fred's death. I just had to write it that way. I'm sorry. I still love him so much. I'm gonna try and write through Teddy's final year at Hogwarts. I hope you guys stick it through with me until I finish. And I'm going to try VERY hard to not abandon this one. I don't usually do that though._

 _As always if you enjoy this one be sure to favorite, follow, review, and recommend it to all your Harry Potter/Remadora loving friends. And be sure to follow my social media accounts and ask for a follow back because I really do love meeting people. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: /queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


	22. Rebuilding

It had only been a few days since the battle had been won. Remus and Tonks were quickly falling into a normal routine with Teddy. They were as close to happy as they had ever been. They were both very sleep deprived because Teddy thought it fun to keep his parents up at all hours of the night. His appearance was changing rapidly too. At first his hair was turning the usual colors. Recently his parents were able to tell what he needed by the color of his hair.

Like his mother Teddy's hair would turn bright red when he was very upset. And he quickly figured out if he cried and his hair turned blonde his parents would give him whatever he pleased. With the arrival of her son Tonks was quickly getting better at tidying up the house with magic.

It was only two days before the full moon and the Lupin family was to attend Fred's memorial at the Burrow. They hadn't seen the Weasley's since the battle. They had sent many owls with no return and didn't want to be a bother to them. They had readied themselves and Andromeda had come over to watch Teddy for the day.

They Disapparated to the Burrow and the scene before them was devastating. Molly was sobbing into Arthur's chest near the casket. The Weasley children were all sitting together arms wrapped around each other. The scene was more heartbreaking than they could have possibly imagined. Seeing Fred lying there tore a hole through Tonks' chest. She collapsed into Remus' arms and cried. He didn't know what he could do to comfort her. So he just held her as tightly as he could.

Once Tonks' tears had run out they had went to sit near Arthur and Molly. Molly flung herself onto Tonks' sobbing even harder. So many people arrived at the service. Hogwarts students and teachers were arriving by the dozens. Stories were being told about the Weasley twins. Students talking about all of the trouble the boys had gotten into. Even Professor McGonagall was telling stories between blowing her nose. The Weasley twins were always such a menace at school, but the old woman secretly enjoyed rushing around making sure they were following the rules. And they never were.

Just before the service had started George walked out of the Burrow. He looked empty. Like half of his soul had been ripped from his body. He was barely able to walk to his seat at the front of the crowd. Molly took her boy in her arms and held him there. She wasn't going to let go of him. If she did she could lose him too. And she couldn't handle losing another son. She was already lying one to rest. She couldn't risk letting another one go.

The service was short, but in a complete Weasley twin fashion. Lee Jordan got up and told a couple stories about their time at Hogwarts together. Laughed about beating up Draco Malfoy after a Quidditch game for insulting their mother. Said how proud he was of Fred and George for starting their own joke shop. How he knew that it would always be standing at Diagon Alley. Ron shared stories about growing up with Fred and how he so loved playing Quidditch with his brothers on the back lawn.

After the service Molly had prepared a small dinner and Tonks insisted on help carry the meal out from the kitchen. Remus was trying to make sure that Molly wasn't stressing herself. Though he knew that she needed to keep busy otherwise she'd forever be feeling this empty feeling of losing her son. Cooking and fussing over people was helping calm her.

The guests started to slowly depart around six o'clock. The former Order members helped put things back in order at the Burrow. Tonks put on the kettle to make tea for the family before she and Remus departed.

They had arrived back at their home to a sleeping Teddy. Andromeda left the house and Tonks headed to the nursery to stare at her sleeping son. The sweet innocent boy. Her mind kept flashing back to Molly crying over her son's body. Tears gathered in her eyes while standing there watching Teddy sleep. She reached down to stroke his head and the tears began to fall.

Remus had come up behind her and placed his hand on the small of her back. She leaned into his touch as he wrapped her up in his arms. He knew what was running through her mind. It was going through his mind as well. He couldn't bear the thought of losing this perfect boy. Teddy was the signal greatest thing that he had ever created and losing him was something that kept flashing in his mind.

"He's going to be fine," he said to her. "We know so many people that would never let anything happen to him."

Tonks sighed and finally removed her hand from her son's head. "So did Fred," she said dryly. "The scene at the funeral. I can't get it out of my head. I keep seeing him lying there. Molly's heartbroken face. George looked broken."

"I know," he said kissing her forehead. "I keep seeing it too, but that part of our lives if over. Voldemort is gone. We have nothing to worry about any longer."

"That's true," she told him. "What if something else happens? A knew threat?"

"What is the world comes toppling down," Remus said trying to make her laugh a little.

"That's not funny, Remus," she said elbowing him in the ribs. "What if does?"

"There's an entire world of 'what if's, love. We can't worry about all of them." He tightened his grip around her. "What we can do is make sure our son has the best life we can possibly give him. And now that I will have a steady job we'll be able to give him anything he wants and everything he needs."

Tonks turned around and kissed her husband. She knew he was entirely right. She couldn't worry about what may or may not happen in the future. But she was going to make sure that her son had the best life she could possibly give him.

The days were passing faster and faster. Remus had gone through another transformation. Arthur and Molly were coming for dinner once and a while. Molly loved spending time with Teddy. Tonks believed she was spending so much time with Teddy to help heal the loss of Fred. Remus and Tonks enjoyed having the Weasley's around.

They had just gotten word that Kinglsey had been appointed Minister of Magic. He made sure to contact Tonks and offer her a job within the Aurors. She quickly accepted knowing that crime would soon be going down. Though under the condition of having plenty of time off to spend with Teddy. Kingsley agreed immediately. Tonks was one of the most promising young Aurors within the ministry and he didn't want to lose her.

Remus had been contacted by Professor McGonagall informing him that the school would be repaired by the following September and students would be arriving. The prospect of going back to his post at Hogwarts made Remus almost giddy. He truly loved teaching the students and was very eager to get back to it. He was creating lessons and deciding what types of creatures to bring into the class. Boggarts were such a hit the last time he knew he'd be bringing in one again.

Weeks were quickly passing. It was soon the end of July. The Weasley's were planning a gathering for Harry's birthday. Remus and Tonks both knew that they had to attend and see everyone again. It had been several weeks and they had been neck deep in Teddy's needs. Not to mention in late August they would be moving back to Hogsmeade so Remus could work at Hogwarts and still be home each night with his wife and new baby.

Remus and Tonks arrived at the Burrow early the day before Harry's birthday, the day of the party. Tonks let Ginny fuss over Teddy and play with him out on the lawn. Remus was helping Arthur and the Weasley boys set up the large table and ready it for their dinner. Hermione was assisting Ginny with Teddy while running in and out of the house helping Molly with whatever she needed.

"How's Teddy been," Molly asked Tonks as they both sat in the kitchen as dinner prepared itself.

"We're all very tired," Tonks chuckled. "But every time I think about how tired I am or how much work it is. I think back and remember how close I was to not getting to experience any of this. I'm grateful for the sleepless nights and the crying baby. Because I have it."

"Is Remus any help," Molly asked trying to sound the way she used to. Upbeat. Tonks could tell that Fred's death was still the only thing on her mind. Not that it was a surprise. Tonks couldn't imagine what Molly must be going through. Losing her child like that. Then Percy came through the backdoor.

Knowing that Percy was back living at the Burrow made Tonks smile. At least Molly had all of her living children back with her. They were a family again.

"Do not touch that pot, Percy," Molly said not even looking in Percy's direction. The boy removed his hand and walked over to his mother. To Tonks' surprise he kissed his mother's head and headed back out the backdoor. "I think sometimes he tries to act a little mischievous hoping it may add a little normalcy around here. George hasn't been active much. He goes to the joke shop and comes home. And Percy feels awful about everything he had said to the family before the battle. He's trying to make up those two years."

"He's a good kid," Tonks said smiling.

"So, Remus," Molly asked with a grin.

"He is," Tonks replied. "He helps out whenever he can. He and Teddy have a very close bond. Remus has always been scared of being a father. Thinking that he'll somehow mess it up. That something may happen to Teddy while under his watch. But he's trying his hardest not to let that get to him. To prove himself wrong. And if that means I get a little more sleep I am all for it."

"Has Teddy's morphing moved from just his hair," Molly asked.

"Not yet, but he's only three months old." Tonks saw the look on Molly's face. She knew what she was wondering, but didn't know how to bring it up. "Not yet. Remus believes that because nothing happened the first full moon after he was born that he doesn't carry the gene. He's fairly sure Teddy only inherited the metamorphmagus gene. And he's thrilled by that."

"I'm sure," the older woman said. "Considering Remus' only reason he didn't want to be in a relationship was a fear of this gene."

Tonks laughed and looked out the window. Remus was carrying Teddy and pointing at random objects on the lawn. He was smiling. Remus' outlook on life has gotten far better after Teddy being born and the end of the war, but Tonks would never grow tired of the look on Remus' face when he held his son. It was pure happiness. Like nothing he had every worried about mattered. Like it was never anything to worry about.

Ginny walked back into the house looking a little sadden. "What's wrong, dear," her mother asked.

"Nothing," Ginny said. "I was just enjoying playing with Teddy and he started crying."

"He probably saw Remus," Tonks told her. "He know if he starts crying and his hair turns daddy will quickly pick him up. Nothing personal, Ginny. He seems to really like you. But daddy gives him whatever he wants and my son is a fast learner."

"So he does take after Remus," Molly joked.

"More so each day," Tonks said smiling.

A few hours had passed and they were all sitting out at the table eating dinner. Harry had arrived just a few minutes prior to find all of this friends together. After all of the tragedy that had happened over the past year he was glad to see all of these people together. He hadn't seen everyone together since the end of the battle. The atmosphere was joyous. People were laughing. Hermione and Ginny were gushing over Teddy.

Remus was talking to George, who was smiling for the first time in two months. Tonks and Fleur were talking about something. It was marvelous to see happy faces on everyone at the party.

Harry walked over to Remus, who was standing watching everyone fawn over his son.

"He's beautiful," Harry told him.

"I agree," Remus told him. "We're still waiting for you to come over and have dinner with us. Teddy is looking forward to meeting his godfather."

"Before you head back to Hogwarts," Harry told him. "Are you ready to start teaching again?"

"Looking forward to it," he told his former student. "I truly enjoyed teaching those years ago. But it's not only that. You know how hard it's always been for me to find steady work." Harry nodded. "And Professor McGonagall offering me my old post was the greatest gift. I'll be able to provide for my family. Give Tonks the life she deserves."

"The students are very lucky to have you, Professor," Harry said with a small grin on his face. "I know we've told you this before, but you were the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher I ever had at Hogwarts."

"What are you going to do now," Remus asked him. Harry hadn't graduated from Hogwarts.

"Not sure," Harry said with a small chuckle. "I received an owl from Professor McGonagall asking me to report to her the day before the start of term to speak about that. Ron and I."

"I'm sure defeating Voldemort will count for something," Remus told him. "You want to be an Auror, correct?" Harry nodded again. "Well, I know a much respected Auror, who happens to love you, and she may be willing to send in a good word or two. Also the recent Minister of Magic and I have worked together in the past." Harry was laughing. "I'm sure you'll be able to get in."

"I don't want anyone to go out of their way for me," Harry told him. "Everyone's done enough for me."

"Harry," Remus said taking his shoulders. "You saved the wizarding world for us. The least we can do is help you after your schooling. And you know when Dora gets word of you wanting be an Auror she'll be sending in a recommendation with or without your asking."

"Professor," Harry said, "I really am happy that you and Tonks got married. And had Teddy. I've never seen you so happy. You are happy?"

"Of course," Remus replied as he looked over at his wife holding their son. "I was a fool for pushing her away for so long. I'm very grateful that we are able to live our lives together. We came so close to not being able to. Harry, next Saturday I would like for you to come have dinner with us. I insist."

"Of course," Harry told him. "I will be there. I look forward to it."

Just as Harry and Remus had made their plans Tonks came over with Teddy in her arms.

"Teddy," she said, "this is Harry Potter. You will undoubtedly learn all about his dangerous adventures once you attend Hogwarts, but for now he's your godfather. He told your daddy to come back to mummy when he was being a dummy." Remus and Harry shared a look remembering that day. "Harry, this is Teddy. Your godson."

Tonks quickly held Teddy out for Harry to take him.

"He's so light," Harry said sounding rather astonished. "I'm so happy for you. Your family is beautiful. I'm glad Teddy has the chance to grow up with his parents."

The rest of the night everyone was enjoying themselves. The tragic events of two months prior had seemed to melt away. There was laughter and pranks. The air was light and joyous. By the time the sun was going down everyone was stuff with Molly's food and cake. Harry opened his gifts from everyone. As Teddy started to drift off to sleep in Remus' arms the Lupin family left the house.

Back at their home Teddy quickly fell asleep in his crib leaving his parents resting in bed together.

"I asked Harry to come over at the end of the week," Remus told his wife.

"Fantastic," Tonks told him. "I've been hoping that he would stop by. I'm glad you asked him over. Molly and George seemed in better spirits at the end of the night."

"They did," he responded. "I think that they needed this night. Spend it with all of the people who care for them." A few minutes past and Tonks was fast asleep on Remus' chest. His arms wrapped around her. For the first night since the Battle of Hogwarts they were both able to sleep peacefully through the night.

* * *

 _A/N: Let me start by saying I'm like really sorry for taking so long. Since I graduated from school I've been very up and down and not wanting to write. So here's this chapter on the 20_ _th_ _anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. I told myself I would finish it today so I could post it. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter._

 _As always please favorite, follow, and review if you liked it. And maybe mention it to your Harry Potter loving friends. And follow me on social media. My Twitter handle has changed. So here's the info. Twitter: /LikeAnAvalance. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO  
Taylor_


	23. First Year Back

September the first had come and Remus and Tonks had moved into the castle. They had been given small living quarters in the south wing of the castle. It had two bedrooms and a small living area where they would be able to spend their time with Teddy. Remus kept insisting Tonks promise she wouldn't get up to any mischief with Teddy and she kept avoiding the topic. There was something about Hogwarts that made her want to pull a few pranks.

The start of term feast was soon happening and Remus was readying himself in his robes to attend. He was excited to see the faces of the students after what had happened this past year. Looking forward to seeing how Professor McGonagall was going to run the school. He was sure she would run the school just as dignified and stubborn as Dumbledore had.

"You're sure," he asked Tonks as he was putting on his robes to head to the Great Hall for the feast. "I'm sure Professor McGonagall wouldn't mind."

Tonks walked into the small living area of the quarters, Teddy in her arms. "We have a six month old baby. Probably best I stay with him. Just send some food back or bring it back. Hogwarts feasts were always delicious."

"I will make sure that you get some of the food," Remus said and kissed her forehead. "I will see you in an hour or two." Remus started for the door. He turned back around and saw his wife standing there with their child attached to her hip. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay," he asked as he walked back over to her and tickled Teddy's tummy.

"Remus Lupin, leave now," Tonks ordered him pushing him towards the door. "Today is the Welcome Feast and you're to be there. Just don't linger after the feast is over so you can say goodnight."

"Alright," Remus said and promptly left their quarters.

Remus walked into the Great Hall and saw where they had to repair the damage from the Battle of Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall had left some areas damaged. Wanting to remind the students of what's happened at this school. Remind the students of the past and what they can learn from it. He walked over to the staff table where he sat five years prior. Dumbledore at the head of the school. Snape sitting near. It felt different walking into this great room. A school so full of magic, yet there seemed to be less there. Remus found his seat at the staff table next to a professor that he had never met. One of the new appointments from McGonagall.

Then the great doors opened and students came filing in and taking their seats at the house tables. Students in their black robes and their house colored ties all chatting and looking around the Great Hall trying to see places where a spell at hit. Or see where the great Harry Potter defeated Voldemort. They all were whispering stories of the final battle of the Second Wizarding War. Some were just rumors, nothing true within, and others were perfect retellings of how Harry defeated Voldemort and brought peace back into their world. Some students seemed quiet and reserved not knowing what to do. They looked almost scared to be back at the place where they almost lost their lives.

The house tables seemed just a little emptier this year. Many parents had decided not to send their children back to Hogwarts. It had been rumored that many students had been sent Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. Many of the former Slytherin students had been sent to Durmstrag. Their parents believing they would be taught the proper usage of magic there. Though it was only a matter of time before the school would be reorganized and the staff of the school replaced. With the demise of Voldemort many magical institutions were under investigation from their respective magical government. Everyone was in high alert making sure that there were no longer anyone of Voldemort's strength or way of thinking was in a position of power.

The current students had settled into their seats and the doors opened again and Professor Sprout was escorting the small number of first years into the Great Hall. She carried the three legged wooden stool and the sorting hat, just as Professor McGonagall had done for many years before.

Remus looked over the students' heads and hoped that one day the tables would be full again. That the current students would send their children here. He loved this school and wanted to see it thrive. Hogwarts was the first place that he had friends. The first place that he felt safe and that was because of Dumbledore and James and Sirius. It was his first home.

The hat sang his song about being together and believing that with trust they will be able to get through this next step. It spoke of working together and leaning on friends to get through hard times. And trusting that they were at Hogwarts for a reason and that reason would soon become clear.

Soon after Professor Sprout began the sorting ceremony. Remus looked over at Professor McGonagall and saw the look of pride on her face. To see these students excited about their placements and how they seemed so full of hope for the coming year.

Finally, the sorting ceremony had finished and Professor Sprout had returned to her seat at the staff table. Professor McGonagall stood.

"Welcome students new and old," she started. "We have returned to Hogwarts after a great loss. A great battle. As you look around the Great Hall and the rest of the castle you shall see reminders, good and bad, of the battle. We will remember those who lost their lives. Teachers. Students. Friends and family. We will honor them by creating a safe school for many more generations of young witches and wizards. As many of you can see our student population has dropped. I am grateful for those of you who have stayed by your school. Proud and unafraid. You may also see that our staffing table has had many changes. Professor Lupin," Remus stood, "will be resuming his post as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Lupin will also be taking over as Head of Gryffindor house. Gryffindor students if you shall need anything please report to him." Many students hollered in excitement remembering the year he was there and how they loved him as a teacher. Remus smiled. It made him feel warm and welcomed. "Professor Whisp, who will be taking the post of Muggle Studies." The woman sitting next to Remus stood and scattered applause came through the hall. "And Professor Warrington will be taking my place as Transfiguration instructor." More scattered applause. "I want you all be to mindful of what you say this year. Please no trouble making we've had enough to last a lifetime. I believe enough time as past…let the feast begin." Suddenly food appeared out of nowhere onto the tables and the students began conversing with each other.

The feast went on and dessert came. Remus kept in mind of his wife back in their quarters probably rocking Teddy in the chair near his crib. He made polite conversation with Professor Whisp.

"Remus," he heard Professor McGonagall say to him from his other side. "Why don't you head to the kitchens and pick up Tonks' feast. I had the house elves set aside a few of the foods I remembered she enjoyed as a student. Also a few things that Teddy may enjoy." Remus smiled at her. "You've seemed distracted since you came in and I know you are wanting to go back to your quarters."

"That is true, Minerva," Remus told her. "But I must admit coming back here and walking through the halls where I watched my wife's aunt try to kill her. It's bringing back those feelings of fear. This school is my home and I will always come back here. Just those images of Tonks flying off the battlements and when she first got here after leaving Teddy."

"We've all had those feelings, Remus," she told him. "There isn't one spot in this school where I don't see someone I cared for lying on the stone floor. That's why I want you to go and spend the rest of the evening with your wife and child. It will be better for you. We will see you tomorrow at breakfast."

Remus got up from his seat and started towards the door. He was stopped by a red-headed seventh year standing up in front of him blocking his path. "We're very glad you're back, Professor Lupin," Ginny Weasley said to him.

"I'm glad to be back," Remus told her. Without hesitation Ginny threw her arms her teacher and hugged him.

Once Ginny let go Remus walked down to the kitchen to retrieve what he assumed you be a plate of food, but what was actually a large basket full of Tonks' favorite foods from the feast and headed back to his wife.

He walked back into their quarters to Tonks rocking Teddy and telling him a story of some sort. Tonks saw him and quickly finished the story after she smelled the food he had brought with him.

"Thank you, love," she said and set Teddy down in his crib. The baby was tired, but didn't seem to want to go to sleep. "I'm starved."

The two spent the night talking about what was in store for Remus when he was to get to class the next day. He had his lessons planned, but knew there would be unrelated questions.

"What do you plan on doing," she asked him as she continued to eat.

"Actually, after hearing Minerva's speech I was thinking that I would start the year by simply asking the students if they had any questions."

"You'll be able to answer honestly?"

"Yes," he told her taking her hand. "There are going to be questions about my condition and the battle. I think it's best to answer them so the students feel safe within my classroom."

Tonks stood and moved to sit on his lap. "Remus Lupin, you are a wonderful brilliant man. I love you."

"Dora, you bring it out in me. I love you too, my dear," he kissed her and pulled her closer to his body. "It's late and I have an early class tomorrow. I'll put Teddy down," he said and went to say goodnight to his son.

Tonks sat there watching Remus with their son and saw something different in him. He seemed a little more confident. She could tell that he was still seeing horrible things when he walked through the halls. His wanting to stay close to her and not attend the feast. But he was still carrying himself just a little differently. Like he was finally feeling like he was worth the love and admiration he was about to get from the new students at Hogwarts.

Tonks readied herself for bed and was soon joined by her husband. The two quickly fell asleep stomachs full from the Welcome Feast. As always wrapped in each other arms holding on as if someone may try to pull them apart.

The next morning the couple awoke to find that the house elves had left them breakfast. They quickly ate and Remus readied himself for his first day of classes. Tonks was taking a few more months off from the Ministry work, while they rebuilt more, and until Teddy was a little older. And this way she could spend more time with her son and husband by living at Hogwarts.

Remus left and went to his first class. First years. Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had been put into the same class. They filed in as he watched from the teacher's desk at the front of the classroom. Some looked frightened and other's look overly excited to be in Defense Against the Dark Arts class with someone who not only fought in the Battle of Hogwarts, but was a werewolf.

"Please settle," Remus said loudly trying to get the students' attention. "Time for classes to start." The students quickly settled down and their eyes hit him. "Welcome to Hogwarts. I'm Professor Lupin. You may have heard from some of the older students that I taught here several years ago. You also may know of my condition. I know there was a notice in your letters. I want to start this term by letting all of you ask any questions you may have. I will answer as honestly as I can. I want you to feel safe here and like you can come to me with anything. Anyone have any questions?"

A Ravenclaw in the back threw his hand in the air. Remus pointed to him. "Garrick Grudgeon, professor," he stated. "Mum says you're a monster. What are you?"

Hearing this hit Remus hard. "I'm not a monster. I'm a werewolf. I want to assure all of you that you are in no danger while in my class. Professor McGonagall wouldn't have allowed me to teach if you were."

Another hand. "Catriona Jigger," said a Gryffindor student. "How can you be sure? I've read all about werewolves and from what I've read and heard about they are nasty creatures."

"Well, Catriona," Remus said sitting down on the edge of the teacher's desk. "In human form I am just a simple teacher with a wife and son. I'm rather boring, actually. Once a month I will leave class for about a week. I will be locked in another location within the castle, which is far away from the students, and you will have Professor Clagg for a few days. I take a potion called 'wolfsbane,' brewed by Professor Slughorn, which allows me to keep my mind during my transformations and not become a wild monster."

A timid hand went up in the front of the class. Remus pointed to her. "Kendra Mumps," said the young Gryffindor. "I heard you fought in the Battle of Hogwarts." Remus nodded. "Does being back here…is being back at Hogwarts…I mean your wife and child…"

"Is being here difficult," he asked her and she nodded. "It can be. There are parts of the castle that bring up bad images."

"Where?"

"Well," Remus paused and thought back to the battle. Fighting alongside Tonks. Watching Bellatrix try to kill her. "There are several places. Even the Great Hall is hard. That's where they gathered all of the fallen witches and wizards. It's hard because I can still see the bodies. Then there are places where I was sure I was going to lose my wife. I saw a killing curse get thrown at her and we had to jump off the battlements. We were lucky enough to have someone slow down our fall."

The room went silent. For the next hour all of the students had all of their questions answered.

Another group of students came in with a different assortment of questions.

"When were you turned?"

"I was four, by a werewolf named Greyback, who was killed during the Battle of Hogwarts."

"What about your son?"

"He takes after his mother with his metamorphmagus abilities. He does not carry the infection within him."

"What was the war like?"

"Terrifying. We never knew when it was coming. We were forced to sit and wait. While my wife was pregnant we had to be in hiding because of my condition. We were all living in safe houses."

"How did you feel during the battle?"

"At first I just wanted to get out alive. Then when my wife showed up, out of nowhere, I just wanted to keep her safe. I knew that if only one of us were to make it out of the battle it was going to be her. She had to get back to our son."

"Did your wife ever have doubts about your condition?"

Remus chuckled. "Actually, I was the one with doubts. I loved her and wanted to keep her safe so I distanced myself. She was always sure and she let me know." The class laughed.

Tonks had taken Teddy and decided to walk him around the school while the students were in class. They ended up out on the grounds together. Tonks set Teddy down by an old tree near the Black Lake. She had managed to procure a small lunch from the kitchens for the two of them. She laid a blanket over the lawn and let Teddy roam as he pleased. Tonks looked up at the castle and closed her eyes. Flashes of green light filled her head. Loud explosions started ringing in her ears. She opened her eyes and grabbed her son. Holding him close to her body and rocking him back and forth.

"Dora," she heard the voice of her husband. He quickly fell to the ground next to her and took her in his arms. "We're safe."

"These flashbacks have to stop," she said sounding like she was going to cry.

"They will," he reassured her. "It's only been a few months. We'll get through this. I promise."

The two sat there together playing with Teddy for the rest of Remus' lunch period.

The weeks passed quickly at Hogwarts. Soon it was the end of term and Christmas was fast approaching. Tonks had hung decorations throughout their quarters. Remus had brought in a small tree and the small family decorated that as well.

Tonks was glad she was able to enjoy this holiday season. She felt like this year they were actually going to be able to be together and have a holiday. It felt like the first time they were celebrating as a married couple. There was actual joy within their home. While Remus would attempt to grade papers in the living room Teddy could crawl over to him and make him abandon his work and pick up his son. Tonks simply looked on from their bedroom and laugh. Remus had completely let go of all of his insecurities that came with having a child or being married.

She loved watching him playing with Teddy on the floor. Or how after Teddy was fast asleep in his crib he'd pull her closer and dance with her around the room without any music playing. They'd sit and read _Anna Karenina_ every Friday evening after Remus' classes. They were happy in their lives at Hogwarts.

"Happy Christmas," Tonks heard Remus say as he set a tray down on their bed. She looked up and he was gone for a moment before reentering with Teddy on his hip. Teddy immediately began babbling when he saw his mother sitting in bed. "Teddy and I went down to the kitchens to get mummy something to eat. He loved meeting the house elves. He was giggling the whole time. How are you this morning, love?"

Tonks smiled and looked at her boys standing there. "As long are you two are here, I am very well."

Teddy started reaching for his mum and Remus set him down on the bed. Tonks scooped him up and nuzzled her face into his tummy. "Teddy's first Christmas," she said setting him down on her lap. "Mum owled yesterday asking us to Christmas dinner. We should leave the castle at about half six." Remus sat down next to his family. "This Christmas is going to be far better than last."

"Free of fear," Remus added. "And we have Teddy to enjoy it with us." Teddy looked to his dad. "Yes, you," he said and kissed his small head.

The castle was almost empty that day so Tonks and Remus went walking around the corridors. They let Teddy crawl around the castle floor and explore a little more. They walked up to the astronomy tower and found Professor McGonagall standing looking out over the grounds.

"Sorry, Minerva," Remus said quickly. "Would you like to be left alone?"

Professor McGonagall turned to see the small family standing before her. Baby Teddy all smiles and reaching for various objects around the tower. McGonagall smiled at the child.

"He's curious," she said. "I recall another Lupin and metamorphmagus also being incredibly curious while within these walls."

"Why, Professor, I have no idea what you could possibly be speaking of," Tonks laughed remembering all the times Professor McGonagall would catch her breaking school rules.

"And in my defense," Remus started, "Sirius and James did the majority of the rule breaking. I was merely a bystander."

McGonagall rolled her eyes and went back to looking out over the grounds. "It feels a little strange here this holiday."

"How so," Remus asked handing Teddy to Tonks.

"I can feel the presence of so many souls here," she told them. "Everyone we lost during the battle."

Remus walked over to her. "We lost many, but they will always be here with us. Especially within the halls of Hogwarts."

"That they are, Remus," she told him. She turned back to see Tonks playing with Teddy on the floor. "What are you all doing in the castle this holiday?"

"We've been exploring," Tonks told her. "Teddy's been having fun."

"What of your mum?"

"We're having dinner there this evening," she told the Headmistress. "We'll have to start for Hogsmeade soon." Tonks looked to Remus who nodded.

"We've not spoken often since the start of term," McGonagall said, "how are you adjusting?"

"Well," Remus told her. "My students are trusting of me. First day of classes I allowed them all to ask whatever they wanted of me. I'm glad they are feeling safe."

"Tonks," McGonagall turned toward the young woman.

Tonks smiled, picked up Teddy, and stood. "We're both doing wonderfully. Teddy and I often wonder the halls of the school while the students are in classes. He's enjoying all the ghosts and finds Peeves very entertaining."

McGonagall rolled her eyes again. "That poltergeist is a menace. But I'm glad you're all doing well. I know it was hard for you at the start of term."

"It was hard for everyone," Remus said. "The students returning and the new looked saddened and some very scared to be back in the school at the start of term. Especially those who fought or lost someone. I've spoken to the Creevey boy and he's still hurting greatly over the loss of this brother. But, hearing you speak at the start of term helped him not fear his school. He's very proud to be back and a part of something so wonderful."

"And Ginny Weasley insists she sees Fred everywhere," Tonks said. "She comes by our quarters often. We sit and talk about everything going on. She swears she's seen Fred's ghost in the castle."

"The poor girl," McGonagall said.

"But she's getting through," Tonks said. "All of the students are. You've brought this school back together, Professor."

Professor McGonagall smiled. "You three better go to your dinner. I'm sure your mother won't appreciate tardiness."

Tonks and Remus chuckled at McGonagall. "You're probably right," Tonks said shifting Teddy to her other hip. "Happy Christmas, Professor."

"Nymphadora," McGonagall said quickly. "It may be alright if you address me by 'Minerva' you're no longer a students and your husband does."

"Happy Christmas, Minerva," Tonks said again. "Teddy, will you say 'goodbye' to your future headmistress?" Tonks tickled Teddy's tummy making him smile. Remus looked to his son and made a waving motion resulting in Teddy mimicking and waving at McGonagall.

"Happy Christmas, Edward," McGonagall said taking his small hand in hers. "Don't cause any trouble like your parents would have."

The Lupin's smiled and said goodbye before exiting the astronomy tower. They went back to their quarters and buddled Teddy up in his winter gear and left for Andromeda's home for their Christmas dinner.

Andromeda had her kitchen fully preparing a large Christmas feast for her small family. She wanted her grandson's first Christmas to be more magical than it would already be. She had gotten gifts for her children and more gifts for Teddy than his parents would approve of.

The Lupin trio arrived at Andromeda's house and were greeted with more excitement than they were expecting.

"We should visit more often," Remus whispered into Tonks' ear.

"Yes," Tonks agreed as Andromeda pried Teddy from his mother's arms and took him over to the Christmas tree were there were gifts wrapped. "Mum, after dinner?"

"Oh just one," Andromeda said picking up a small package and sitting down with Teddy on the floor. "Let him have a little fun."

Tonks looked at Remus trying to tell him to agree with her. Remus simply laughed at his wife, who's hair was slowly changing to red. Remus bent down to kiss her cheek. "Your hair, my dear."

"Remus," she scolded.

"Come," he said. "You've never been one for rules. Don't fret over anything today. Let's simply enjoy being together."

Tonks sighed and went in to hold her husband. The two hadn't had much time to themselves since moving into the castle even with their weekly reading nights. They let Andromeda play with Teddy for a while as the two of them went to the parlor and sat together. Tonks curled into his side holding him as tightly as she could. Remus put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. They were so happy to be there together. Knowing their son was just in the other room playing and they were safe there in each other arms. It was the happiest they had been in so long.

After thirty minutes sitting in silence they hear a loud squeal come from their son and thought it best they go see what was going on. They found Andromeda and Teddy in a sea of wrapping paper and toys.

"'One' must mean something different to grandmothers," Tonks said looking up at Remus. Remus laughed and pushed her towards the sea of presents. The four of them spent the entire evening playing with the toys and eating the meal Andromeda had made for them. Andromeda insisted on telling Remus old stories from Tonks' childhood. Tonks soon surrendered in trying to convince her mother to stop and started adding her own stories to the mix. Soon Teddy was fast asleep in Remus' arms.

"Why don't the three of you stay here tonight," Andromeda suggested. "Please. I'll make up your old room."

Remus looked at Tonks. Both quickly agreeing with each other. "Sounds wonderful, Andromeda," Remus said to her as he rocked Teddy slightly.

"I'll conjure a crib for Teddy as well," she said and promptly left the room to make up Tonks' childhood bedroom.

"I believe Teddy's first Christmas was a complete success," Tonks said moving closer to Remus and her son. "Our first holiday as a family was absolutely perfect. I love you."

Remus leaned over and kissed his wife. "I love you too, Dora," he told her. "This day was marvelous. Simply spending it with the two most important people in my life. After a life of so much loss, having you two makes me know there is luck and hope in this world. Thank you for showing me that. And for giving me this wonderful little boy."

Tonks kissed him again. This time a little more fiercely. "All I did was love you," she told him. "You letting me love and letting yourself love me? That's what changed everything for you. Finding all of that luck and hope."

Andromeda came back downstairs and offered to bring Teddy up to bed. They had carefully transferred the sleeping baby to Andromeda's arms and somehow he didn't wake up screaming. After Andromeda left the room Tonks moved to sit in Remus' lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You know, Remus Lupin," she started. "You are the most wonderful husband and father anyone could ask for. Watching you these past few months with the students and Teddy. You're so happy. I've never seen you this way. You're smiling more. And watching you with Teddy every night. These past six months have been the best of my life."

Remus quickly pulled Tonks to kiss her again. The two melted into each other as they sat with their lips together. Tonks mind flashed back to their first kiss. Standing in London. That's what this moment felt like. Like it was all beginning again. Their lives almost ended multiple times and this moment, seven months later, it finally felt like everything was going to turn out alright. The couple couldn't seem to separate from each other. Around midnight the two went up to the bedroom and fell easily asleep.

The next morning the small family went back to Hogwarts with the piles of gifts Andromeda had gotten for Teddy. Soon the Hogwarts students were returning from their holiday and the castle was full of noise again.

Tonks had decided to bring Teddy out into the school while the students were returning. He hadn't had much interaction with people other than family and thought this may be good for him. Many students rushed over to the baby. He was loving the attention students of all ages were giving him. He had figured out that when his hair changed colors the students would fawn over him. As Tonks sat near the front of the Great Hall as the students sat for lunch Remus walked in and saw them there. Having a baby around the castle seemed to be good for morale. Remus came and took Teddy from Tonks allowing her to eat something herself. Remus walked him around the room bouncing him the entire way. Everyone fell in love with the baby instantly. McGonagall came in and Remus quickly went to leave the room. She stopped him.

"Stay," she told him. "I asked you to come teach here. I agreed to having your family here with you. Take him where you please. Besides these students would never forgive me if I sent this little boy away." McGonagall brushed her hand on Teddy's cheek.

The rest of the term went smoothly. Nothing happened within the school that McGonagall had to be involved in. There had been no concerns from students or parents about Remus' condition. His transformations had been easy as they could be. Professor Slughorn had been stocking up on his potion and delivered it to his quarters a week before the full moon each month. He would go to the far wing of the school away from all of the students and be locked in a room during the full moon. And as usual Tonks didn't sleep during the full moon. She'd look out the bedroom window up at the moon. She'd keep Teddy close to her all night. A reminder of her loving husband and how incredible he was.

April had come and it was Teddy's first birthday. Andromeda had planned a large party for her grandson. Molly had brought over mountains of food for the day. They worked together to put up decorations and made sure all of their friends were there to celebrate the young boy's life. Teddy got more toys and Tonks was certain that they wouldn't fit in their small quarters at Hogwarts. Andromeda suggested they stay at her home so Teddy had something to play with while he was there. Molly had knitted a tiny sweater in Weasley fashion with a 'T' on it. Tonks immediately put it on her son and they took several photos of the child laughing. The house was full of so much love on this day. There was no pain or regret measurable. Tonks and Remus watched as their friends passed Teddy around making sure each of them got to spend a little time with him.

The end of term was soon approaching. Remus was beginning to prepare his students for their end of year exams though Teddy had other plans for his father. The boy had started walking soon after his first birthday. And once he'd started he wasn't going to stop. Tonks thought it safe to let him roam around while students were in classes, but Teddy easily recognized his dad's voice.

Remus always left the door to his classroom slightly open, just enough for the students to get through if they had to leave for anything and not disturb the rest of the class. It was always quiet in the hallway so it never occurred to close the door during their silent study portion of his class, always at the end. Remus was speaking with a student at the front of the classroom when everyone heard a baby's giggle. Remus immediately looked up and shook his head. He knew that Tonks took him around and McGonagall had signed off on this knowing that Dumbledore would have enjoyed watching the baby roam the halls of the castle.

Remus' class collectively chuckled knowing that it was young Teddy Lupin coming down the hall. Then he heard his wife. "Teddy, daddy is in class. Come here."

"Stay focused," Remus told his class. "Just a few more minutes of class. I'm sure he'll be in the Great Hall wanting attention at lunch." The students reluctantly went back to their work.

"Daddy," Remus heard his son shout. He looked up and saw his son standing at the back of the classroom. Tonks behind him with an apologetic smile on her face.

The entire class turned to see the scene behind them. Teddy quickly started for the front of the room where his dad was sitting talking to a student. Tonks quickly started to follow, but Teddy noticed and started off at a run for his dad reaching the teacher's desk before Tonks had caught up to him. "Daddy," he shouted and crawled under the table to be closer to Remus.

"Well, maybe I'll have to start closing this door," Remus said looking from Teddy to Tonks who's facial expression hadn't changed. She mouthed 'sorry' to him as Remus picked up his son. "I guess since class is almost finished away I'll let you all go if you'd like. Here adore him," he said placing Teddy on his desk. The student standing there instantly went to tickle the little boy.

Remus got up from his chair and he and Tonks walked over to the side of the classroom. "I'm so sorry," Tonks told him. "He turned and started running. I think he got the werewolf speed." Remus chuckled.

"It's fine. The students needed a break anyways. They've all been working very hard to pass their exams next week. He's a stress reliever and he knows it," Remus said looking over at his smiling son.

"What are we going to do when he gets older," Tonks asked. "We can't very well let him wonder once his wizard powers start to come in."

"We may have to get a little house in Hogsmeade to live in," Remus told her. "But that's a couple years away. He shouldn't be showing signs of magic for a few more years."

"True," Tonks said. "He truly likes the attention," Tonks laughed and walked over to her son. "Alright Teddy, time to say goodbye to your new friends. We'll see them later on." Tonks picked up her son and placed him on her hip. "Can you say 'bye' to daddy's class?"

"Bye-bye," Teddy said and waved his small hand to the students, who all cooed over the little boy as his mother carried him from the room.

"Alright," Remus started. "Off with you lot. Go to lunch." The students quickly packed up their things and left for the Great Hall.

The end of term feast at come. Remus' first year back at Hogwarts had been a complete success. His son was happy and healthy and loved by the entire school. Professor McGonagall had placed another chair at the staff table for Tonks to sit with Teddy, as the boy had become the most loved person in the school.

"The year as come to an end," McGonagall started as she addressed the school. "You've all completed extraordinary things while here this year. Seventh years leaving us for the last time tomorrow. You've been through more than any young witch or wizard should have. You're stronger than you could possibly believe. And you are all destined to be greater than you think you're capable of. The students who will be joining us again you still have so much to learn, but have learned more than you thought you'd ever know. And the house cup needs awarding doesn't it?" The crowd cheered. "In fourth place with 640 points, Hufflepuff." The Hufflepuff students cheered. "In third place with 672 points, Ravenclaw." Students cheered. "In second place with 683 points, Gryffindor." The Gryffindor students cheered loudly. "And in first place with 694 points, Slytherin!" The Slytherin table cheered loudly and stood from their table. "Congratulations to all the houses," McGonagall began again. "You've overcome much sadness this year and should all be very proud of yourselves. I hope you all have a good summer holiday. And to those who will not be returning to us next year, good luck to you in all of your upcoming ventures. You're all headed for great success. Have a wonderful holiday."

Remus turned to Tonks. "Well, first year went well."

"Yes, it did," she told him. "Teddy only interrupted your class once a week since he started walking. No one left the school because of your condition. And I'm ready to go back to work at the ministry I think. I don't want to leave Teddy, but I can't help thinking that there's more that I should be doing."

"Alright," Remus told her. "Let's figure that out next."

* * *

 _A/N: I'm sorry again for the delay in writing this. So I don't really know how it would work with Remus and his family at Hogwarts in JK Rowling's world, but I saw this text post about Teddy coming in during one of Remus' classes and I had to write it out. It was too adorable not to. I'm excited to dive into writing Tonks as the working mother in the coming chapters. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I like Tonks the Auror so I have to have her go back to work with Kingsley and Arthur at the ministry. Also the house cup points were taken from the current status of my Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery game._

 _I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. I really loved writing it. If you did like it be sure to favorite, follow, and/or review. Also be sure to promote this sucker and have people read it. I'm sorry about the delayed postings lately. I am trying my absolute hardest not to abandon this fic because I love this couple and hate abandoning fics. And be sure to follow me on social media. Twitter: /LikeAnAvalance. Instagram: /fangirl_extraordinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver._

 _XOXO_

 _Taylor_


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